Recipe for a Happy Life : 44 ingredients and instructions prepared with love

Towards the end of 2013, I am grateful that I have an serendipitous opportunity to meet & learn from Cheryl Saban. Her eyes, gaze, smiles and life experience reminds me on Louise Hay.

Cheryl introduced me to a coffee table book of her, which is beautifully prepared with pastel-tone, day-wedding-like photos. I am also grateful to Emily Westlake who was responsible for the picture research. Those charming, gentle and simple photographs and images of flowers, glasses, plants, seaside, nostalgic items are indeed heart-warming for cold December. Those soft, natural light falling gently on ordinary items make them look extraordinary.

Reflecting on Cheryl’s sharing, people do face financial woes, marital strife, and health problems. This perspective seems to connect with Michael’s view that it is rare for a person to have excellence in all areas of wealth, relationships, and health.

So, here are the ingredients & instructions for a happy life that I like:

@~@ LOVE & RELATIONSHIPs / CONNECTIONs
# Give love, create love, and receive love.
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved" ~ George Sand.
# Be kind & encouraging. "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi
# Practice random act of kindness.
"Always be a little kinder than necessary." ~ James M. Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan.
# Give to others.
"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed." ~ Maya Angelou.
# Give your time, talent, treasure to others.
# Connect to yourself.
# Connect to nature.
# Connect to God.
# Connect to others : family members, friends, colleagues.
# Find & cherish your soul mate.
"The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it is learning to love the person you found."
# Forgive yourself.
# Forgive others.

@~@ GRATITUDE
# Be content with who you are.
"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson.
# Be grateful.
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." ~ Marcel Proust
# Count your blessings.
# Respect the power of nature, be thrilled by the miracle of birth.
# Appreciate the special beauty that is present in even the most mundane & everyday things, e.g. the very air that you breathe, sunrise, sunset, moonlight.
"The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration." ~ Claude Monet.
# Be happy for others.
"This is not a competition — there is plenty of happiness to go around, once you know where to look." ~ Cheryl Saban.

@~@ HEALTH
# Eat reasonably.
# Sleep deeply.
# Walk.

@~@ BELIEVE & HOPE
# Pray incessantly.
# Nurture your spiritual beliefs
# Journalling / Keep a diary.
# Engage in positive internal conversations.
# Write your story (in encouraging ways).
# Meditate.
# Attract positive experiences.
"Remember the Law of Attraction, and make an effort to attract positive, happy experiences into your life."
# Develop inner strength.
"Be willing to live life to your fullest potential, and believe in the fact that you have plenty of it." ~ Cheryl Saban.
# Search inside yourself.
"The foolish man seek happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." ~ James Oppenheim.
# Learn.
"Master a new skill. When you take the time to engage in activities that absorb your full attention, you’ll experience a sense of well-being and contentment." ~ Cheryl Saban.
Blueorselady : think of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s flow.
# Look for ways to be inspired.

@~@ INDEPENDENCE & RESPONSIBILITY
"Independence is happiness." ~ Susan B. Anthony.
# Choose happiness.
"50% of a given human’s happiness level is genetically determined (based on twin studies), 10% is affected by life circumstances and situation, and a remaining 40% of happiness is subject to self control." ~ Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness.
# Think positively. "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts." Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.
# Learn positive coping skills.
"Avoid false fixes. Over-indulging in shopping, food, alcohol, or drugs won’t bring you happiness." ~ Cheryl Saban.
# Try to make at least three people smile each day — beginning with yourself!

@~@ PASSION
# Discover your passions.
"Explore. Dream. Discover" ~ Mark Twain.
# Improve your talents.
# Have purposes, dreams, goals.
"It is one of my dreams to publish a coffee table book, I believe I can. A book that can help myself, my loved ones & others to enjoy a lifetime of contentment and fulfilment. Thank you Cheryl for your encouragement!"
# Be proactive.
"Turn wishful thinking into positive action. Those who take a proactive stance in their lives tend to have an ample supply of joy and pleasure" ~ Cheryl Saban.
# Seek positive role models.
# Learn life-enhancing, esteem-building behaviors from your role models, heroes / heroines, masters, jedi / guru / mentors.
# Be persevered for things that matter. https://blueroselady.wordpress.com/2013/11/01/perseverance-why-does-it-matter-can-perseverance-be-learned/
# Work.
"Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others." ~ Buddha.

How to read? 10 tips for children that are also applicable for adults

Reading & comprehension are essential skills for learning of all subjects.

To be an independent learners, our chidren / we
# must read CAREFULly.
# must have a good command of VOCABulary.
# must be able to make INFERENCEs.
# must minimize errors in GRAMMAR, SPELLING, & PUNCTUATION when writing review / reading journal / 读书心得.

Good readers are able to
# UNDERSTAND the text.
# THINK CRITICALLY about what the author has said, as the saying by Mencius goes "尽信书不如无书." We need an analytical mind.
# make CONNECTIONS / relate between the text and our own background knowledge / real life events.
# REFLECT upon the ideas given in the text.

Since reading is so essential,
how to read effectively, efficiently, and happily?

1. Reading must be meaningful.
Read with a purpose,
a question in mind,
then our children / we will be motivated.

2. Make reading a daily habit / routine / practice at home.

3. Visit libraries / book shops to get food for our minds like visiting market to get daily food for our bodies.

4. For young readers who have little background knowledge, unlike we adult, choose diverse, enjoyable, readable books.
Readable books refer to books that our children are able to read, not difficult books.
If the books are too difficult, children may get discouraged to enjoy reading.
When I was a little children, I made the mistake of trying to read tough classical books, and ended up not reading them because the rich vocabularies were too much for my little command of language at that time.

5. For your readers, parents can read aloud to them.

6. Consider also audio books / pre-recorded text in voicenotes.

7. STORY TELLING helps to develop listening & oral skills. Encourage our children to re-tell parts of story read, without making it sounds / feels like a hard test.
Soothing / angelic voice(e.g. J’s voice) helps.
Characters come to life when they have a voice, and sound effects are more compelling if they are convincing and audible.
Slow down at the key part.
The storyteller Neil Griffiths advices "Read aloud to them stories they love again and again!" I agree that repetition works.
Neil thinks that children can start listening to stories since they are in the womb!
In other words, unborn babies are never too young to enjoy listening to stories.
I also think that children never become too old for story time;
there is a child inside everyone of us.
If we can be child-like again,
even if our body has matured and aged, our soul will be happy!

8. Visualize the story.
Use photographic memory
to remember & recall the story / lesson.
A story can empower us with the ability
to dream, to dream imaginatively, to DREAM BIG.

9. Diarize our reflections / opinions / favorite parts from reading because developing both writing & reading skills does support each others.

10. Quiet room and peace / tranquility. If this is not possible, we can use ear pieces to listen to music that is suitable for reading. Supportive environment: neither too hot nor too cold.

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What are interesting activities to engage children? 12 ideas for children living in Singapore

1. Walk the green / NATURE ***** : Bukit Timah Hill, MacRitchie Reservoir, Botanic Garden.
2. love the audio / printed BOOKs : libraries ***** , book shops.
3. visit diverse places of FAITH ***** / religious sites : churches , mosques , temples. Teach our children to respect different religions (including free thinkers), to believe in God.
4. learn from TERTIARY EDUCATION **** : e.g. NUS, NTU, SMU. Instill in their mind, since 0 year old the importance of education, the art of learning.
5. MUSIC *** to litte ears : pack mats, picnics & attend free concerts, take PHOTOs **** at Fort Canning Park, Botanic Gardens, The Esplanade.
6. Inspire their creativity through visits to MUSEUMs *** : Singapore History Museum, Asian Civilization Museum, Singapore Art Museum.
Note : though these museums have no free daily admission like my favorite museums in London,
do check out for open days which means FREE entrance.
7. visit FARMs ***, Singapore Zoo, Jurong Bird Park, Hay Diaries, Dian Hu Fish Farm.
8. Fish for fun : Bedok Jetty.
9. visit FINANCIAL institutes * e.g. banks (& teach them the value of money, how to manage their finance).
10. visit MARKETs , SUPERMARKETs : teach them how to shop frugally, compare prices, the most effective & efficient ways to shop.
11. Easy Breezy : fly kite at Marina Barrage.
12. chill with the WATER : swimming pool, beach (safety precaution is highly recommended).

* refers to highly recommended activities by Blueroselady

Note:
1. Most activities are FREE (you only have to spend on transport & food), or relatively cheap.
2. The ideas are inspired from personal survival experience, the first stroll with my first son to his potential first school (an infant care).

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A journey to Yunnan

This is a backlog travel note.

@~@
What to bring?
see 2bring4travel.txt in my folder of China2012.

@~@
I make a marking for every (large in amount) RMB note that we bring to China.
Why?
The money changer staff told us that her son was cheated.

Her son gave the shop assistant a large note.
The shop assistant went to look for change.
She came back and told him that there was no change and returned him a fake note!

@~@
Our tour guide to Shi Lin was Mr Wang.

He told us that to travel by yourselves will cost more than joining tour.
Mr Wang said his salary is RMB 1600. A month expenditure is RMB 1000. Therefore, we have to shop, the more we shop, the more commission he will receive.

If one earns RMB 2500 per month, he or she is considered high earner.
The main sources of income for travel company in Yunnan:
1. tourist attractions.
2. air tickets.
3. hotel (we were promised 4* hotel-room but we got a RMB 80 / night 2* motel-room).

4. food (Wang told us to expect the food to be not delicious).

China has 56 tribes.
Yunnan has 52 tribes.
Mr Wang said that fast and dark female are desirable.
女孩十八岁像老太太
老太太像老妖怪

To leave the mountain, the minority people have 2 paths:

1. study well
2. join the army
In his village (Shi Lin), the eldest woman in the tribe is the head. If a man run away to leave the mountain, all family members will be punished.

According to Wang, silver can remove ‘wind’.

To me, A Shi Ma (Yunnan) to greet female sounds similar to Ajuma (Korea).
A Shi Ma 阿诗玛 means diligent and beautiful.
To greet male, A Hei Ge 阿黑哥 / A Bai Ge 阿白哥 / Hei Bai Ge 黑白哥 aka A Hua Ge 阿花哥.

Lake is called Sea.
River 河 is called Jiang.

FOOD that we tried:
@~@ flower pastry. We love it (JiaHua brand).
@~@ over-the-bridge rice noodle.
@~@ The eight treasures of Yunnan. Too sour for me.
@~@ Wild mushroom banquet. Thank you to our tour guide Wang for driving us there (for free), he said he stayed near there. The waitress was also honest to return a forgotten phone.

@~@ Hui cuisine. The wild vegetable was unique, my first time eating such kind of vegetable.
@~@ 青稞饼 (barley bread).

FAUNA
@~@ grazing yaks (black, white, brown) : Zhongdian / 中甸, Blue Moon Valley
@~@ sheep
@~@ horse riding, LaShiHai / 拉市海*. It costs us RMB 350 / person, latter someone told us that you can have the ride for RMB 100. My travel partner was happy for the first time riding horse.

* When I prepared for the trip to Yunnan, 拉市海 seems so tranquil like Lake Bohinj, but when we visited 拉市海, it was hot and crowded (especially at the horse riding sites). The tranquil site was frequently visited by couples taking pre wedding photos.

Be careful of:
pickpockets / bag slashings.
Avoid barber shops, massage centers (con involvement).
police num: 110

Black Dragon Pool / 云南黑龙潭
The front cover of my favorite travel book: DK Eyewitness of China features the Black Dragon Pool with Yulong (Jade Dragon) Snow Mountain and its reflection.

When we were there, the pool was dried that we could see the cracking soil and smell the unpleasant fishy odor.

Sometimes, virtual travel (through travel books / documentaries / videos) seems, sounds and smells more relaxing. Personally, this is possible if only we have experienced similar things before, so that we can imagine and re-feel. If not, we have to travel our lives!
Many times, we have to travel indeed.

Lijiang 丽江 to Zhongdian 中甸:
terraced fields (reminded me on the journey to Sapa in Vietnam).
the upper reaches of the Yangtze River.

@~@
See also:
https://blueroselady.wordpress.com/2012/04/01/dream-of-love-in-the-spring-2012/
https://blueroselady.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/plan-for-our-love-photos-china/
https://blueroselady.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/travel-china-sichuan/
https://blueroselady.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/asia-regional-travel-ideas-2012-2014/
Blueroselady’s travel

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My Elective Caesarean section, birth plan and FAQs

I wrote this post some times ago, and have revised it for few times when I acquired new tips. Hope that the sharing is useful to expecting mothers with similar experience like me.

Thank you to the advance of medicinal sciences and technology, pregnant women like me have a tremendously increasing chance of survival. However, it is also possible that because of the advance ultrasound, we got the prediction that our baby was too big for natural vaginal birth, that resulted in me ending up for an elective C-section.

Good bye my birth plan for natural birth!
Initially, I wanted to have a natural vaginal birth without epidural. My paternal grandmother, maternal grandmother, and mother have delivered nine, four, and four babies, respectively, through natural birth and without epidural. I have prepared my mind to have no fear in enduring labor pain. However, since I am going for a C-section, the birth plan can be put aside for the time being.

Since my pregnancy was considered not to require C-section, no maternal obesity, no high blood pressure, no gestational diabetes, no pre-eclampsia, our baby is not in breech position, I have prepared for the best. I only read up about natural birth, we watched videos about natural birth but not Caesarean at all. OK, I read a little bit about Caesarean.

Our baby was underweight all the way, then he started to have normal weight. That’s good. Then, in the last 2 weeks, he gained about 0.5 kg per week. Well, our baby is a late boomer.

On my 39th week 3rd day (in the evening), the ob-gyn recommended me to go for an elective Caesarean the next day or the day after. We did not have any mental preparation.

The C-section was scheduled 2 days before our baby’s EDD (expected due date). Until the day before the C-section, I had no major contraction, no bloody show. I only suffered from back pain from growing tummy, and could only sleep on left side, with a little pillow to support my belly (with baby inside).

Since the operating theaters were not available the next day after we saw the ob-gyn, I had a day extra to find out more about C-section.

To quote Marie Curie, "nothing is to be feared, only to be understood." I think and feel that the more I understand, the more prepared I will in facing challenges in lives. That is what happened when I prepared myself mentally and physically for tandem skydiving, paragliding, many academic examinations in the past, delivering talks, and venturing into the foreign countries on my own. In addition to my birth country where my parents took care of me, I have lived and survived on my own in five foreign countries, learning the systems from the scratch, making new friends, finding ways to my accommodation. To learn about making peace, I have also traveled to war torn site where soldiers with gun pointed at our bus. I have nothing to be fearful of except God.

In the evening we saw the ob-gyn, we decided to follow the ob-gyn’s advice. He told us that he was worried that the baby may have shoulder dystocia or injured nerves as he might be too big to pass through my birth canal. The ob-gyn even did not bother to check if my cervix was dilated. Shoulder dystocia affects less than 1% of birth, but our baby might have an increased risk.

As of the 39th week 3rd day, our baby has not reached the criteria of macrosomia (big baby syndrome). Note that fetal weight estimations late in pregnancy are pretty imprecise.
Perhaps, the ob-gyn thinks that our baby is big, I am small (though not small by Asian standard). I still remember my Spanish girlfriend remarked that I looked slim while pregnant, without a big belly. She teased me "I hate you". Well, now my belly looks big, I agree with the ob-gyn that our baby is likely to be a big size but I was hopeful that I can deliver him naturally.

The ob-gyn prefers the election C-section instead of an attempt of natural labor followed by emergency C-section with high risk in between. Emergency C-section has increased risk of surgical and anaesthetic complications. Post-surgical remark : I think my anesthetist was cool! He estimated the right birth weight of our baby with a difference of 0.002 kg. I may consider anesthetist as a career, if I had a chance to go to a medical school.

For the safety of our baby, we consented for an elective C-section. It was difficult to book an operating theater at our hospital of choice, they seemed to be unwilling to give us a slot, until the ob-gyn personally spoke to the hospital staff. The latter thought that we chose an elective C-section for horoscopic purpose. Actually, we did not care about the timing, as long as our ob-gyn feels comfortable and not in rush, of course we understand that he wants to see patients at his clinic at particular time slots. The most important thing is the safety of our baby. When I tried to think positively about the hospital, I come out with a positive explanation (as advocated by Martin E. Seligman): they perhaps reserve the operating theater for emergency C-section for mothers who have not succeeded to try to deliver naturally.

"My attitude is Que sera sera. Accept things that I cannot change. Now, we can only make decisions based on our limited knowledge."

Our baby was still moving happily in my womb on the day -1 of C-section. Soon, I will be able to see and hug the little one whose tiny feet and knee often protrude on my belly. However, I was concerned with the slower recovery from C-section, how I was going to take care of our baby. Post-delivery note: it turned out to be a huge challenge! Since my left hand was poked with medication, I have no strength to bring my baby to my side to breastfeed him.

FAQs (note: you should always consult your healthcare provider):

Q Why did our baby suddenly grow so much?
1. Since I complained about abdominal pain and my cervix was relatively short as compared to normal, I was prescribed 200 mg of Utrogestan daily to prevent premature delivery, for a period of 2 weeks (until the safe date for our baby’s birth). I did not took it for the last 2 days of prescriptions. I was also asked to rest more, which I enjoyed as I love reading, gazing at the park nearby, and freed me from the need to commute to work. I love to work, but I find that fighting for a space in public transport is like a daily battle and I had to be extremely careful of irresponsible people who run to rush for the train.
2. Honestly, I ate some chocolate cakes, though I do not think that I ate excessively based on my normal weight gain. The ob-gyn told me that my baby weight has nothing to do with my diet.

Q: How do I know if our baby is really big?
A: A friend had a baby measured using ultrasound for 3.5 kg, but the baby girl arrived weighting only 2.8 kg. That is why they said that the ultrasound weight prediction is imprecise. Both father and mother of our baby are not fat genetically, how can our baby be so big? Perhaps he is lengthy, and the weight measurement of ultrasound is based on the length.

Q. If I have a short cervix, will it be a shorter path for our baby to pass through, then why I cannot attempt a natural vaginal birth?
A. In my consent form, the reason for elective C-section is Cervical dystocia.
What is cervical dystocia? difficult labor and delivery caused by mechanical obstruction at the cervix.
I also read that "In preparation for childbirth, the woman’s cervix shortens."
I am confused.
No matter what, we are grateful that our baby did not end up as a premature baby.

Q: How do I know my cervix is dilating?
A: " if my cervix was in fact dilated, then I’d be able to feel something hard on the other side of it"
www.babycenter.com said that a pelvic exam can result in too much stimulation and more dilation of cervix.
Self-check may be dangerous / unhygienic, risk of breaking water bag, feel for the "hole in the donut".
"you could go 3 weeks more without going into labor after you have become effaced or started dilating"

Q: Does short cervix cause cervix dystocia?
A: I cannot find answers to this.

Q: Is C-section less painful than natural birth?
A: No, this is a misconception. The pain that is experienced because of surgery is greater than that of labor and therefore requires a more intense nerve block. It seems that I was going to endure more pain but the effect was minimized through anesthesia, but for the subsequent days I had to endure more pain as compared to natural birth.
It seems to me that
natural birth: short-term severe pain, long-term mild pain.
C-section: short-term mild pain, long-term severe pain (with the risk of longer recovery).

Post-surgical note : I heard that some women opt for elective C-section to preserve their vagina, in order to keep their husband happy.

Q: What are the risks of C-sections?
A:
postoperative adhesions.
incisional hernias: may require surgical correction.
wound infections.
placenta accreta.
emergency hysterectomies.
postnatal depression.
newborn mortality before 39 weeks.
C-sections for subsequent pregnancies & deliveries.
Emergency C-sections have additional risks:
anaesthesia risk: due to stomach not empty.
severe blood loss.
postdural-puncture spinal headaches.

Q: Will C-section reduce the chance to conceive / have the subsequent baby?
A: There will be an increase risk of
1. placenta accreta (only 0.13% after two Caesarean sections, but increases to 2.13% after four and then to 6.74% after six or more surgeries).
2. emergency hysterectomies.
40% or more of women having three or more C-sections will experience the complications of heavy bleeding and needing hysterectomy.
"By the time a woman gets to her third cesarean, she’s at serious risk for life-changing and even life-threatening complications," says Bernstein.

Q: Can one have a vaginal birth after a previous C-section?
A: Yes, but there will be a risk of uterine rupture which is catastrophic. We had a heart-to-heart discussion and decided that we are happy with 2-3 children, even if just 2 children.

Q: Should I choose between GA (general anaesthesia) or epidural?
A: Regional anaesthesia (e.g. using epidural) is preferred as it allows the mother to be awake and interact immediately with her baby.
You may still feel some pressure or a tugging sensation at some point during the surgery.
A catheter is then inserted into your urethra to drain urine during the procedure, and an IV is started (for fluids and medications including antibiotics) if you don’t have one already.

Q: Does one have to shave for C-section?
A: The top section of your pubic hair may be shaved (http://www.babycenter.com). My ob-gyn prefers full shave.

Q: What are the types of C-section, their pros and cons?
A:
1. VERTICAL / Longitudinal incision. Con: more complication. Pro: more space to deliver baby. Used in emergency C-section to allow a quicker access to baby.
2. HORIZONTAL / lower uterine segment section / a transverse cut just above the edge of the bladder. Pro: less blood loss.
The procedure involves an incision through the skin, abdomen, muscle, and then into the uterus. From start to finish, including pre- and post-op, a typical C-section lasts 3-4 hours.

Q: Should I request for antacid medication?
A: You may be given an antacid medication to drink before the surgery as a precautionary measure. If an emergency arises, you may need general anesthesia, which puts you at risk for vomiting while you’re unconscious and inhaling your stomach contents into your lungs. The antacid neutralizes your stomach acid so it won’t damage your lung tissue.
For me, since I suffered from gastric pain in the past, I would prefer to request for an antacid.

Q: Can my birth partner attend C-section?
A: Your partner, freshly attired in operating room garb, may take a seat by your head.
Sometimes no for emergency C-section, in which GA is used.

Q: What Bible verses can help to prepare Christian mothers for C-section?
A:
2 Corinthians 12:9,10 "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. … For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Psalm 103:1-5 "… who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, …"
Proverbs 31:10-31 "A mother’s love is like a beacon burning bright with faith and prayer. Through the changing scenes of life, we can find a haven here. A mother’s love is something that no one can explain — it is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain."

Q: How expensive is C-section?
A: Caesarian is $500 + $925 = ~ $1,500 more expensive than normal delivery.
Note that this calculation has not included:
room charges.
equipment usage fee.
medication fee.
anesthetist fee.
baby’s stay.
pediatrician fee.
doctor’s daily visits (even just to ask "are you ok?").
Eventually, several thousands $ are required.
Personally, I try to save money by sharing a room. I can still have privacy of view thanks to the curtain, but patients have limited privacy of sound. My first night roommate heard my family’s and relative’s conversations, and by default I have to listen (& get to know my second and third night roommates because some (I think many of) their relatives speak loudly). An ear plug is a rescue.

Q: How is placenta removed during C-section?
A: The ob-gyn will do it.

Q: How is the suture done?
A: The stitches used for your uterus will dissolve in the body. The final layer – the skin – may be closed with stitches or staples, which are usually removed three days to a week later (or your doctor may choose to use stitches that dissolve on their own). Closing your uterus and belly will take a lot longer than opening you up, usually about 30 minutes.

Q: How to breastfeed after C-section?
A:
1. you and your newborn lie on your sides facing each other.
2. football / rugby position.
To minimize discomfort, place a pillow over the incision while holding your baby.

Q: How is lochia removed after C-section?
A: According to Mayo Clinic, “Expect a bright red, heavy flow of blood for the first few days after the C-section. It might contain a few small clots. The discharge will gradually taper off, becoming more watery and changing from pink or brown to yellow or white. To reduce the risk of infection, use sanitary napkins rather than tampons. Contact your health care provider if your bleeding soaks a sanitary pad each hour for two hours, you pass a clot larger than a golf ball, the discharge has a foul odor, or you have a fever of 100.4 F (38 C) or higher.”

Q: How to recover from C-section?
A:
As soon as the anesthesia wears off, your doctor will encourage you to get up and walk around, which reduces the risk of a dangerous blood clot (pulmonary embolism) forming. Post-surgery note: I only remember a voice telling me to move my legs after the surgery, even though I was immobile.
Avoid strenuous work (e.g., lifting objects over 4.5 kg, running, walking up stairs, or athletics) for up to six months.
Rest as much as you can.
Talk less.
Wait ~ 18 months before attempting to conceive another baby.
According to babycenter, pee often, even if you don’t feel the urge to go. In the first few days after you give birth, your bladder may be less sensitive than usual, so you may not feel the need to urinate even when your bladder is quite full. In addition to causing urinary problems, a full bladder makes it harder for your uterus to contract, leading to more after pains and bleeding.

Q: What are food precaution after C-section?
A: My mother: do not eat hard food (e.g. rice) immediately after surgery, but drink something warm or eat porridge. If the porridge is cold, do not eat.
Do not eat TianZiWang.
Do not eat fried food.
My mother in law: do not to eat poultry within 12 days after C-section because today poultry is heavily injected with hormones.
My confinement lady: Do not eat ginger and wine within 12 days after C-section.
My confinement lady: Do not do post-natal abdomen massage, but hand, foot, back massage are ok after 12 days of delivery. A friend A of CW who also delivered via emergency C-section went for the post-natal abdomen massage, and felt uncomfortable after it. Personally, I think foot massage has risks too because of the linkage of acupressure points.
See also my notes on confinement.

More details:
www.webmd.com
www.mayoclinic.com
www.babycenter.com

Things I did on day -1 of my elective LSCS:
Read, watched, learned about C-section.
Drank a lot of water because I felt so thirsty.
Drank red date tea.
Paid all my outstanding credit card bills. I did not know how long it would take me to recover.
Requested the father of our baby to help us take photos of my tummy with the baby at the park.
Trimmed my eyebrow and fringe.
Clipped my nails to prevent scratching our baby.

New birth plan for my elective lower segment C-section (LSCS):
To ask healthcare provider:
Will my IV contain antibiotic?
Will I be given antacid? to request.

Before I head into the operating room, let my doctor know that I would like to see our baby as soon as possible after the delivery (as long as he is healthy).
Tips: if you have myopia, you will not be allowed to wear your soft lens, so bring your spectacles with you (and do not let any nurse to take them away). If they insist, pass it to your birth partner. Like me, you want to see your baby clearly.

If the ob-gyn allows, ask the father of our baby to play soothing music. Post-surgical note: I forgot to request. Then, I tried to console myself that music may distract my ob-gyn.

After C-section, to confirm with the ob-gyn if I do not have vertical incision.
If there was vertical incision, uterus is more likely (8 – 10%) to rupture during a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC).
Note: outside incision may be horizontal, but invisible inside incision may be vertical.
My ob-gyn said I have horizontal incision.

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Ten cool things about Marissa Mayer

1. among the best: No. 3 on the 40 under 40 according to Fortune edition October 29, 2012.

2. wears multiple hats: A CEO, a Mom (to a baby boy since September 30, 2012), a wife (to Zack Bogue since 2009).

3. visionary and ambitious:
(A) Google’s 20th employee, Google’s 1st female engineer. She was offered a job in Oracle, Toyota, Carnegie Mellon, McKinsey, Google. If she went to McKinsey, she could give advice to Fortune 500 companies, but she chose Google (to help change the world), although she admitted that she gave the drilling Sergey Brin and the quiet Larry Page a 2% chance.
(B) has planned to make Yahoo "the absolute best place to work". Will this talent-focused approach make Yahoo’s products more innovative and delightful?
(C) Marissa told Yahoo employees that she will follow
"the rule of 100 million", invest only in products and ventures hat have a good shot at reaching 100 million users and $100 million in revenue. Possible e.g. PubMatic, Criteo, Pulse, Flipboard.

4. Courage to move out of comfort zone. Her personal career credo: "Do things that you’re not quite ready to do. And surround yourself with the smartest people." She gave up daily programming that she loved for moving into management.

5. nurture talent: leadership depends on nurturing talent. Delegate to succeed. Her proteges include Jess Lee (CEO of fashion startup Polyvore).
incredibly energetic, loves hard work, she pulled an all-nighter at least once weekly in Google’s early days. Sometimes I wonder if over-work results in a trade-off, e.g. beauty for women. I find that her photograph by Robyn Twomey used by the Fortune magazine (p49) makes her look older with a line on cheek and no smile. As a woman, I prefer to look younger and smiling.

6. transparent: she admits that she is an introvert, but she is not a loner.

7. Well-educated: In undergraduate, she focused on symbolic systems, that integrates psychology, linguistics, philosophy, computer science. Aims: to figure out how people learn and reason, to endow computers with human-like behavior. She later graduated from Stanford with a master’s degree in computer science. Before then, she got accepted at every college she applied to (Harvard, Yale, Northwestern, Duke, 6 others). It is always good to be interdisciplinary.

8. Well-rounded: her Dad was a water-treatment plants engineer, Mom an art teacher, brother is sport (hockey)-loving. Her Mom instilled in her a willingness to try anything; every day of the week, her Mom took her to a different lesson: swimming, skating, ballet, piano, cake decorating.
This can be an inspiring plan for my progeny.
In high school, Marissa was an all-round over-achiever:
captain of the debate team.
captain of pom-pom squad, thanks to her sheer talent, hard work, fairness.

9. data-driven (she used spreadsheet / matrix to decide which college to attend, which of her 14 job offers to choose upon graduation), democratic, fun.

10. acronym-loving e.g. PB&J = Process, Bureaucracy, Jams.

Tips for AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8G and other lenses

I got my desirable 50 mm lens with the largest aperture of 1.8! Finally, I can shoot bokeh.

1. To protect my eyes, DO NOT LOOK at the sun through the lens / camera viewfinder.
2. To prevent electric shock, do not handle the lens / camera with wet hands, keep the lens / camera DRY.
3. To shoot using the built-in flash (which I rarely do), shoot at ranges of 60 cm and remove the lens hood to prevent vignetting.

4. To protect my lens, do not pick up / hold the lens / camera using only the lens hood. I tend to do this careless action.
5. To remove dust and lint from the lens surfaces, use a BLOWER.
6. DO NOT story in direct sunlight or with naphtha or camphor moth balls.

7. APERTURE & ZONE FOCUS?
I can use zone focus when I do not use auto focus.
I can use ZONE FOCUS for moving babies / toddlers / children and pets.
I can also use ZONE FOCUS in street photography, to allow rapid and candid "shooting from the hip".
Auto focus has lag.

Revising my notes on how to take beautiful photographs

I love photos because photography literally means painting with light.
When we are taking photographs, we should think it as an act of our respects to beautiful scenery created by God.
Though photography is very subjective (I do like particular photographs but not others), photography enable us to connect to people across nation, geographical, and cultural boundaries.
I strive to have the curious eyes of children, the mind of philosopher.

Here are some tips:
Photography for the very beginners.
Practice!
Mini shoot.
Photo shoot session as a date (cheaper than fine dining / watching movies).
Discovery projects
Study work by others (the same goes for every field of professional pursuit, though I am not a professional, but I strive to create work of high standard). As of early 2013, I have over 6,000 photos for reference. Perhaps, I have to declutter them, to focus more on quality than quantity. Some good online places that I have used include : Flickr, Pbase, Corbis, websites of bridal studios or professional photographers, travel / photography books.

How to photograph people?
How to photograph your little ones?
I am committed to photography my little ones once every month.

How to pose for photos?
Be photogenic!
Not to forget make-up, even for gentlemen.
“The best shots reflect a relaxed simplicity."

Celebrate and take photos. I especially love to celebrate the four seasons.
Do you want to travel and take photos?
Here are interesting locations:
1. China: Beijing (warning the sky is so often polluted that I had to degrain and make the sky blue in a photo taken at the National Palace that I cherish), Yunnan, Sichuan (especially near Chengdu), Hong Kong,Taiwan.
Korea: very romantic for autumn and winter shots.
2. Malaysia : Malacca, Penang
3. Indonesia: Bali (many couples are getting married at the island of God), you can get forever summer photos here.
4. United Kingdom because I lived there. I always love the England gardens! I even love their fine porcelain mugs printed with garden flowers. Think of Alice in the Wonderland, Harry Potter, all magical things! I love England in spring and autumn.
5. France: forever ROMANTIC Paris! Imagine perfume, Lavender, Mediterranean sea of French Riviera, and beautiful delicious food.
6. Oceania : Australia (because I think I am going there more often) and New Zealand (after I finish enjoying and experiencing The Lord of the Ring as promised by my lover).

Some reflections about travel photography:
1. Always bring TRIPOD when you travel, especially on your own. Tripod can help you take photographs with slow shutter and produce magical photos that our normal eyes cannot see.
2. "When we are taking photographs, we should think that they are our love letter to our beloved ones." My love letters sent from Canada.
3. I wrote "Shangrila (Zhongdian) in Yunnan reminds me on Switzerland."
Personally, I do not like Zhongdian.
Switzerland is a better travel destination.
Friendlier people / safer environment.
Lower altitude / more oxygen.
Better experience and memory.

Although I am not considering a career in photography, I believe that my photographic skills are improving with time.
I may also earn some pocket money from my passion in beauty and photography.
If I can, so can you!

Reasons why Blueroselady needs a 50mm lens

1. light (in term of weight)
2. makes you think / walk
3. everything looks right
4. versatile
5. bokeh (I always LOVE THIS)
5. fast (to capture the spontaneous action of our subjects e.g. baby)
6. f/1.4 allows taking photos in low light condition
7. can take portraits with depth of field (LOVE THIS)

AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G (SGD$339)
AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.4G (SGD$1019)
AF 50mm f/1.8D (SGD$229)
AF 50mm f/1.4D (SGD$649)
Pricing info is as of December 2012

I want to buy AF-S NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G. eBay sells at SGD297.
USD220 (according to Nikon USA website), which is cheaper!

My simple yet meaningful weekend activities

In the 3rd weekend of the last month of 2012, I
@~@ woke up at 9 am (I was so tired from the night before, we went to Ikea to buy some stuff for our baby and kitchen).
@~@ read a couple of New York Times articles.
@~@ listened to my daily prayer for our baby.
@~@ listened to classical music.
@~@ paid bills, recorded my expenditure.
@~@ updated LinkedIn, added new contacts. Took a lot of time to personalize my message! However, with an investment of few hundred $, I want to ensure that I am connected with the inspiring people I met recently.
@~@ washed dishes. Honestly, I dislike doing this, but my mentor TNH told me to be mindful while washing dishes, as a form of meditation for enlightenment.
@~@ planned for our next dwelling by listing the essential attributes. Main criteria for me: no smokers nearby please!
@~@ hugged my lover. Men who receive kisses and hugs live longer.
@~@ sourced for photographic inspirations for our babies.
@~@ worked through remote connection to my work computer. This is to ensure that my jobs are continuously running even though I am sleeping.
@~@ had a cold shower. So refreshing! When people are deprived of shower, even a simple shower can be so pleasurable!
@~@ cooked steamed double cheese broccoli. 15 minutes to prepare.
@~@ cooked pork rib soup with red dates and wolf berries.
@~@ did yoga cum listened to a lecture from a popular Harvard course. Yes, I am a geek. Listening to the course helped me to do yoga for at least 15 minutes.
@~@ read our wedding wish cards. "Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly." – Sam Keen, American author & philosopher
@~@ made personalized greeting cards for my friends.
@~@ went to church.
@~@ fell in love with the apricot & almond cookies box of Forever Friends vintage. I kept the image of the box as an inspiration.
@~@ ate Baskin-Robbins ice cream of the following flavors: pomegranate vanila, Rocky Road (chocolate with mini marshmallow), with the topping of hot fudge. We thought that the fudge was too sweet for us.
@~@ appreciated starry night (we saw Orion) while strolling at the next door park.

God, I am so grateful and happy, for my simple yet meaningful lifestyle.