Posts Tagged ‘God’
Perseverance: why does it matter? Can perseverance be learned?
People have focused on measuring cognitive skills such as intelligence.
However, others skills, beyond cognitive skills, contribute to human development and success.
A form of essential non-cognitive skills is perseverance / tenacity / grit.
"Never, ever, ever give up. Never give up. Never give up." ~ Winston Churchill, Battle of Britain.
Angela Lee Duckworth defines grit as "sticking with things over the very long term until you master them."
Her research results indicate that grit mattered more than intelligence, leadership ability or physical fitness.
People who are not as bright as their peers "compensate by working harder and with more determination." Good friends of mine such as KS and SL seem to belong to this group of people.
Napoleon Hill listed perseverance / persistence as the 8th step toward Riches.
Perseverance is the sustained effort necessary to induce faith.
Perseverance is based on the power of will.
Death is a sad event for many people.
I remember how I still felt sad when my grandmother passed away, after living a long life worth celebrating instead of mourning.
Death of those who are too young to die, is even more saddening for their parents.
I remember the severe heartache I felt when I lost my first brother,
and have since promised myself with great perseverance that I will live much longer than my parents,
so that the white hair do not have to bid farewell to the black hair (this is an Eastern saying).
Ideally, it is the black hair who bid farewell / bury their parents / grandparents (those with white hair and have lived long lives).
The story of Adrian Misic’s mother, Parto Khorsidi of perseverancefoundation.wordpress.com indeed, reminded me on the sorrow of my mother. She wrote perseverance "means to go on when nothing makes sense, when the pain of living is much larger than the fear of death."
We need perseverance not only when things go wrong, but also when things go right, so that we can push ourselves to learn more as highlighted by Jill Gough and kate Burton.
How far could and should we push ourselves?
In our spiritual lives, we must also persevere in prayer, like the persevering widow told in Luke 18:1-8. Andrew Murray, a famous 19th Century South African write, once said "Of all the mysteries of the prayer world, the need for persevering prayer is one of the greatest."
If we are discouraged, pray.
If we have lost heart, pray.
If we don’t know the way forward, pray.
Remember that persevering prayer activates our frontal lobes and anterior cingulate gyrus, resulting in increased compassion, memory function (through neuroplasticity), and stress reduction.
Perseverance is essential to sustain our lives, our marriages, our families, our work, our spiritual quest.
Other inspiring posts:
http://painfighter.wordpress.com/2013/09/21/quote-of-the-day-perseverance/
http://classicbookreader.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/the-tenacity-of-the-human-spirit/
The four aspects of wealth
There are four aspects of wealth:
1. Intelligence / wisdom (智慧)
2. spiritual (心灵)
3. horizons (眼光)
4. materials (人财产)
I could not agree more.
Since a young kid, I always admire religious family, they seem to be happy even if they are not rich by the world standard. This is because they have God in their heart. God is a source of wealth and love. God is wealth and love.
Do not work for big companies forever, we must 创业.
Ignore those people who say that you have ambition (野心).
Thank you so much to my doctor for this advice.
March 2013:
While reading my old green notebook inherited from F,
I encounter a quote from Theodore Forstmann.
“REAL WEALTH is not PHYSICAL.”
According to him, physical wealth can disappear;
government can take it away,
natural disasters can wipe it out,
criminals / terrorists can steal / rob / destroy it,
and so on.
METAPHYSICAL WEALTH cannot be taken away,
it is the driver for all of the growth
that takes place in the world.
Blueroselady thinks that
METAPHYSICAL WEALTH is the FOUNDATION for PHYSICAL WEALTH.
METAPHYSICAL WEALTH includes spiritual wealth, knowledge, wisdom, and horizon.
Painting: The Beheading of Saint John the Baptist
The Beheading of St John
Venue: St. John’s Co-Cathedral, Valletta, Malta.
St. John’s Co-Cathedral is the church with the most beautiful marble floor that I have been.
“The Beheading of Saint John the Baptist” by Caravaggio
is one of the memorable paintings that I have seen.
At first, I felt it was scary,
then yesterday I started to realize how mighty St John is,
he has to suffer such a humiliating death.
The painting is large, very large,
it stretches 1-storey high.
When I was 6 years old,
I stayed up late and my busy parents were too busy earning a living to take care of me.
I watched a scary scene in TV where the entire family members were beheaded.
I wondered how human beings can be so cruel to another.
Now, I do not remember the story, but that scene.
I have to keep telling myself that it is fake,
but movies are often based on real life experience,
if not imagination of people.
Lesson 1:
Roderick MacKinnon is right.
TV is bad for you,
including news.
Many news are about disasters and wars.
Do not watch or read about news
the 1st thing in the morning and
the last thing at night before you sleep.
If you must know about particular news,
it will come to you through your family, friends, or colleagues.
Dramas about personal (at smaller scale) to national (at larger scale) conflicts
are bad for you,
you may subconsciously pick up
how women quarrel with each other,
how men fight over money and women,
how countries grow greedy wanting other resources belonging to others.
Do not let your children watch shocking scenes without proper parental guidance.
Lesson 2:
Life must go on.
We can do nothing about the past,
we cannot help / save people who had gone / events that have occurred.
Learn from the past.
Focus on the present
and work for the future.
We can promote peace and harmony.
We can empower our future generation:
our children, our grandchildren, our great grandchildren.
My Elective Caesarean section, birth plan and FAQs
I wrote this post some times ago, and have revised it for few times when I acquired new tips. Hope that the sharing is useful to expecting mothers with similar experience like me.
Thank you to the advance of medicinal sciences and technology, pregnant women like me have a tremendously increasing chance of survival. However, it is also possible that because of the advance ultrasound, we got the prediction that our baby was too big for natural vaginal birth, that resulted in me ending up for an elective C-section.
Good bye my birth plan for natural birth!
Initially, I wanted to have a natural vaginal birth without epidural. My paternal grandmother, maternal grandmother, and mother have delivered nine, four, and four babies, respectively, through natural birth and without epidural. I have prepared my mind to have no fear in enduring labor pain. However, since I am going for a C-section, the birth plan can be put aside for the time being.
Since my pregnancy was considered not to require C-section, no maternal obesity, no high blood pressure, no gestational diabetes, no pre-eclampsia, our baby is not in breech position, I have prepared for the best. I only read up about natural birth, we watched videos about natural birth but not Caesarean at all. OK, I read a little bit about Caesarean.
Our baby was underweight all the way, then he started to have normal weight. That’s good. Then, in the last 2 weeks, he gained about 0.5 kg per week. Well, our baby is a late boomer.
On my 39th week 3rd day (in the evening), the ob-gyn recommended me to go for an elective Caesarean the next day or the day after. We did not have any mental preparation.
The C-section was scheduled 2 days before our baby’s EDD (expected due date). Until the day before the C-section, I had no major contraction, no bloody show. I only suffered from back pain from growing tummy, and could only sleep on left side, with a little pillow to support my belly (with baby inside).
Since the operating theaters were not available the next day after we saw the ob-gyn, I had a day extra to find out more about C-section.
To quote Marie Curie, "nothing is to be feared, only to be understood." I think and feel that the more I understand, the more prepared I will in facing challenges in lives. That is what happened when I prepared myself mentally and physically for tandem skydiving, paragliding, many academic examinations in the past, delivering talks, and venturing into the foreign countries on my own. In addition to my birth country where my parents took care of me, I have lived and survived on my own in five foreign countries, learning the systems from the scratch, making new friends, finding ways to my accommodation. To learn about making peace, I have also traveled to war torn site where soldiers with gun pointed at our bus. I have nothing to be fearful of except God.
In the evening we saw the ob-gyn, we decided to follow the ob-gyn’s advice. He told us that he was worried that the baby may have shoulder dystocia or injured nerves as he might be too big to pass through my birth canal. The ob-gyn even did not bother to check if my cervix was dilated. Shoulder dystocia affects less than 1% of birth, but our baby might have an increased risk.
As of the 39th week 3rd day, our baby has not reached the criteria of macrosomia (big baby syndrome). Note that fetal weight estimations late in pregnancy are pretty imprecise.
Perhaps, the ob-gyn thinks that our baby is big, I am small (though not small by Asian standard). I still remember my Spanish girlfriend remarked that I looked slim while pregnant, without a big belly. She teased me "I hate you". Well, now my belly looks big, I agree with the ob-gyn that our baby is likely to be a big size but I was hopeful that I can deliver him naturally.
The ob-gyn prefers the election C-section instead of an attempt of natural labor followed by emergency C-section with high risk in between. Emergency C-section has increased risk of surgical and anaesthetic complications. Post-surgical remark : I think my anesthetist was cool! He estimated the right birth weight of our baby with a difference of 0.002 kg. I may consider anesthetist as a career, if I had a chance to go to a medical school.
For the safety of our baby, we consented for an elective C-section. It was difficult to book an operating theater at our hospital of choice, they seemed to be unwilling to give us a slot, until the ob-gyn personally spoke to the hospital staff. The latter thought that we chose an elective C-section for horoscopic purpose. Actually, we did not care about the timing, as long as our ob-gyn feels comfortable and not in rush, of course we understand that he wants to see patients at his clinic at particular time slots. The most important thing is the safety of our baby. When I tried to think positively about the hospital, I come out with a positive explanation (as advocated by Martin E. Seligman): they perhaps reserve the operating theater for emergency C-section for mothers who have not succeeded to try to deliver naturally.
"My attitude is Que sera sera. Accept things that I cannot change. Now, we can only make decisions based on our limited knowledge."
Our baby was still moving happily in my womb on the day -1 of C-section. Soon, I will be able to see and hug the little one whose tiny feet and knee often protrude on my belly. However, I was concerned with the slower recovery from C-section, how I was going to take care of our baby. Post-delivery note: it turned out to be a huge challenge! Since my left hand was poked with medication, I have no strength to bring my baby to my side to breastfeed him.
FAQs (note: you should always consult your healthcare provider):
Q Why did our baby suddenly grow so much?
1. Since I complained about abdominal pain and my cervix was relatively short as compared to normal, I was prescribed 200 mg of Utrogestan daily to prevent premature delivery, for a period of 2 weeks (until the safe date for our baby’s birth). I did not took it for the last 2 days of prescriptions. I was also asked to rest more, which I enjoyed as I love reading, gazing at the park nearby, and freed me from the need to commute to work. I love to work, but I find that fighting for a space in public transport is like a daily battle and I had to be extremely careful of irresponsible people who run to rush for the train.
2. Honestly, I ate some chocolate cakes, though I do not think that I ate excessively based on my normal weight gain. The ob-gyn told me that my baby weight has nothing to do with my diet.
Q: How do I know if our baby is really big?
A: A friend had a baby measured using ultrasound for 3.5 kg, but the baby girl arrived weighting only 2.8 kg. That is why they said that the ultrasound weight prediction is imprecise. Both father and mother of our baby are not fat genetically, how can our baby be so big? Perhaps he is lengthy, and the weight measurement of ultrasound is based on the length.
Q. If I have a short cervix, will it be a shorter path for our baby to pass through, then why I cannot attempt a natural vaginal birth?
A. In my consent form, the reason for elective C-section is Cervical dystocia.
What is cervical dystocia? difficult labor and delivery caused by mechanical obstruction at the cervix.
I also read that "In preparation for childbirth, the woman’s cervix shortens."
I am confused.
No matter what, we are grateful that our baby did not end up as a premature baby.
Q: How do I know my cervix is dilating?
A: " if my cervix was in fact dilated, then I’d be able to feel something hard on the other side of it"
www.babycenter.com said that a pelvic exam can result in too much stimulation and more dilation of cervix.
Self-check may be dangerous / unhygienic, risk of breaking water bag, feel for the "hole in the donut".
"you could go 3 weeks more without going into labor after you have become effaced or started dilating"
Q: Does short cervix cause cervix dystocia?
A: I cannot find answers to this.
Q: Is C-section less painful than natural birth?
A: No, this is a misconception. The pain that is experienced because of surgery is greater than that of labor and therefore requires a more intense nerve block. It seems that I was going to endure more pain but the effect was minimized through anesthesia, but for the subsequent days I had to endure more pain as compared to natural birth.
It seems to me that
natural birth: short-term severe pain, long-term mild pain.
C-section: short-term mild pain, long-term severe pain (with the risk of longer recovery).
Post-surgical note : I heard that some women opt for elective C-section to preserve their vagina, in order to keep their husband happy.
Q: What are the risks of C-sections?
A:
postoperative adhesions.
incisional hernias: may require surgical correction.
wound infections.
placenta accreta.
emergency hysterectomies.
postnatal depression.
newborn mortality before 39 weeks.
C-sections for subsequent pregnancies & deliveries.
Emergency C-sections have additional risks:
anaesthesia risk: due to stomach not empty.
severe blood loss.
postdural-puncture spinal headaches.
Q: Will C-section reduce the chance to conceive / have the subsequent baby?
A: There will be an increase risk of
1. placenta accreta (only 0.13% after two Caesarean sections, but increases to 2.13% after four and then to 6.74% after six or more surgeries).
2. emergency hysterectomies.
40% or more of women having three or more C-sections will experience the complications of heavy bleeding and needing hysterectomy.
"By the time a woman gets to her third cesarean, she’s at serious risk for life-changing and even life-threatening complications," says Bernstein.
Q: Can one have a vaginal birth after a previous C-section?
A: Yes, but there will be a risk of uterine rupture which is catastrophic. We had a heart-to-heart discussion and decided that we are happy with 2-3 children, even if just 2 children.
Q: Should I choose between GA (general anaesthesia) or epidural?
A: Regional anaesthesia (e.g. using epidural) is preferred as it allows the mother to be awake and interact immediately with her baby.
You may still feel some pressure or a tugging sensation at some point during the surgery.
A catheter is then inserted into your urethra to drain urine during the procedure, and an IV is started (for fluids and medications including antibiotics) if you don’t have one already.
Q: Does one have to shave for C-section?
A: The top section of your pubic hair may be shaved (http://www.babycenter.com). My ob-gyn prefers full shave.
Q: What are the types of C-section, their pros and cons?
A:
1. VERTICAL / Longitudinal incision. Con: more complication. Pro: more space to deliver baby. Used in emergency C-section to allow a quicker access to baby.
2. HORIZONTAL / lower uterine segment section / a transverse cut just above the edge of the bladder. Pro: less blood loss.
The procedure involves an incision through the skin, abdomen, muscle, and then into the uterus. From start to finish, including pre- and post-op, a typical C-section lasts 3-4 hours.
Q: Should I request for antacid medication?
A: You may be given an antacid medication to drink before the surgery as a precautionary measure. If an emergency arises, you may need general anesthesia, which puts you at risk for vomiting while you’re unconscious and inhaling your stomach contents into your lungs. The antacid neutralizes your stomach acid so it won’t damage your lung tissue.
For me, since I suffered from gastric pain in the past, I would prefer to request for an antacid.
Q: Can my birth partner attend C-section?
A: Your partner, freshly attired in operating room garb, may take a seat by your head.
Sometimes no for emergency C-section, in which GA is used.
Q: What Bible verses can help to prepare Christian mothers for C-section?
A:
2 Corinthians 12:9,10 "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. … For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Psalm 103:1-5 "… who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, …"
Proverbs 31:10-31 "A mother’s love is like a beacon burning bright with faith and prayer. Through the changing scenes of life, we can find a haven here. A mother’s love is something that no one can explain — it is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain."
Q: How expensive is C-section?
A: Caesarian is $500 + $925 = ~ $1,500 more expensive than normal delivery.
Note that this calculation has not included:
room charges.
equipment usage fee.
medication fee.
anesthetist fee.
baby’s stay.
pediatrician fee.
doctor’s daily visits (even just to ask "are you ok?").
Eventually, several thousands $ are required.
Personally, I try to save money by sharing a room. I can still have privacy of view thanks to the curtain, but patients have limited privacy of sound. My first night roommate heard my family’s and relative’s conversations, and by default I have to listen (& get to know my second and third night roommates because some (I think many of) their relatives speak loudly). An ear plug is a rescue.
Q: How is placenta removed during C-section?
A: The ob-gyn will do it.
Q: How is the suture done?
A: The stitches used for your uterus will dissolve in the body. The final layer – the skin – may be closed with stitches or staples, which are usually removed three days to a week later (or your doctor may choose to use stitches that dissolve on their own). Closing your uterus and belly will take a lot longer than opening you up, usually about 30 minutes.
Q: How to breastfeed after C-section?
A:
1. you and your newborn lie on your sides facing each other.
2. football / rugby position.
To minimize discomfort, place a pillow over the incision while holding your baby.
Q: How is lochia removed after C-section?
A: According to Mayo Clinic, “Expect a bright red, heavy flow of blood for the first few days after the C-section. It might contain a few small clots. The discharge will gradually taper off, becoming more watery and changing from pink or brown to yellow or white. To reduce the risk of infection, use sanitary napkins rather than tampons. Contact your health care provider if your bleeding soaks a sanitary pad each hour for two hours, you pass a clot larger than a golf ball, the discharge has a foul odor, or you have a fever of 100.4 F (38 C) or higher.”
Q: How to recover from C-section?
A:
As soon as the anesthesia wears off, your doctor will encourage you to get up and walk around, which reduces the risk of a dangerous blood clot (pulmonary embolism) forming. Post-surgery note: I only remember a voice telling me to move my legs after the surgery, even though I was immobile.
Avoid strenuous work (e.g., lifting objects over 4.5 kg, running, walking up stairs, or athletics) for up to six months.
Rest as much as you can.
Talk less.
Wait ~ 18 months before attempting to conceive another baby.
According to babycenter, pee often, even if you don’t feel the urge to go. In the first few days after you give birth, your bladder may be less sensitive than usual, so you may not feel the need to urinate even when your bladder is quite full. In addition to causing urinary problems, a full bladder makes it harder for your uterus to contract, leading to more after pains and bleeding.
Q: What are food precaution after C-section?
A: My mother: do not eat hard food (e.g. rice) immediately after surgery, but drink something warm or eat porridge. If the porridge is cold, do not eat.
Do not eat TianZiWang.
Do not eat fried food.
My mother in law: do not to eat poultry within 12 days after C-section because today poultry is heavily injected with hormones.
My confinement lady: Do not eat ginger and wine within 12 days after C-section.
My confinement lady: Do not do post-natal abdomen massage, but hand, foot, back massage are ok after 12 days of delivery. A friend A of CW who also delivered via emergency C-section went for the post-natal abdomen massage, and felt uncomfortable after it. Personally, I think foot massage has risks too because of the linkage of acupressure points.
See also my notes on confinement.
More details:
www.webmd.com
www.mayoclinic.com
www.babycenter.com
Things I did on day -1 of my elective LSCS:
Read, watched, learned about C-section.
Drank a lot of water because I felt so thirsty.
Drank red date tea.
Paid all my outstanding credit card bills. I did not know how long it would take me to recover.
Requested the father of our baby to help us take photos of my tummy with the baby at the park.
Trimmed my eyebrow and fringe.
Clipped my nails to prevent scratching our baby.
New birth plan for my elective lower segment C-section (LSCS):
To ask healthcare provider:
Will my IV contain antibiotic?
Will I be given antacid? to request.
Before I head into the operating room, let my doctor know that I would like to see our baby as soon as possible after the delivery (as long as he is healthy).
Tips: if you have myopia, you will not be allowed to wear your soft lens, so bring your spectacles with you (and do not let any nurse to take them away). If they insist, pass it to your birth partner. Like me, you want to see your baby clearly.
If the ob-gyn allows, ask the father of our baby to play soothing music. Post-surgical note: I forgot to request. Then, I tried to console myself that music may distract my ob-gyn.
After C-section, to confirm with the ob-gyn if I do not have vertical incision.
If there was vertical incision, uterus is more likely (8 – 10%) to rupture during a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC).
Note: outside incision may be horizontal, but invisible inside incision may be vertical.
My ob-gyn said I have horizontal incision.
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Revising my notes on how to take beautiful photographs
I love photos because photography literally means painting with light.
When we are taking photographs, we should think it as an act of our respects to beautiful scenery created by God.
Though photography is very subjective (I do like particular photographs but not others), photography enable us to connect to people across nation, geographical, and cultural boundaries.
I strive to have the curious eyes of children, the mind of philosopher.
Here are some tips:
Photography for the very beginners.
Practice!
Mini shoot.
Photo shoot session as a date (cheaper than fine dining / watching movies).
Discovery projects
Study work by others (the same goes for every field of professional pursuit, though I am not a professional, but I strive to create work of high standard). As of early 2013, I have over 6,000 photos for reference. Perhaps, I have to declutter them, to focus more on quality than quantity. Some good online places that I have used include : Flickr, Pbase, Corbis, websites of bridal studios or professional photographers, travel / photography books.
How to photograph people?
How to photograph your little ones?
I am committed to photography my little ones once every month.
How to pose for photos?
Be photogenic!
Not to forget make-up, even for gentlemen.
“The best shots reflect a relaxed simplicity."
Celebrate and take photos. I especially love to celebrate the four seasons.
Do you want to travel and take photos?
Here are interesting locations:
1. China: Beijing (warning the sky is so often polluted that I had to degrain and make the sky blue in a photo taken at the National Palace that I cherish), Yunnan, Sichuan (especially near Chengdu), Hong Kong,Taiwan.
Korea: very romantic for autumn and winter shots.
2. Malaysia : Malacca, Penang
3. Indonesia: Bali (many couples are getting married at the island of God), you can get forever summer photos here.
4. United Kingdom because I lived there. I always love the England gardens! I even love their fine porcelain mugs printed with garden flowers. Think of Alice in the Wonderland, Harry Potter, all magical things! I love England in spring and autumn.
5. France: forever ROMANTIC Paris! Imagine perfume, Lavender, Mediterranean sea of French Riviera, and beautiful delicious food.
6. Oceania : Australia (because I think I am going there more often) and New Zealand (after I finish enjoying and experiencing The Lord of the Ring as promised by my lover).
Some reflections about travel photography:
1. Always bring TRIPOD when you travel, especially on your own. Tripod can help you take photographs with slow shutter and produce magical photos that our normal eyes cannot see.
2. "When we are taking photographs, we should think that they are our love letter to our beloved ones." My love letters sent from Canada.
3. I wrote "Shangrila (Zhongdian) in Yunnan reminds me on Switzerland."
Personally, I do not like Zhongdian.
Switzerland is a better travel destination.
Friendlier people / safer environment.
Lower altitude / more oxygen.
Better experience and memory.
Although I am not considering a career in photography, I believe that my photographic skills are improving with time.
I may also earn some pocket money from my passion in beauty and photography.
If I can, so can you!
Christmas 2012: I think I am a geek
While people are in the mood of celebrating Christmas and New Year, I am finding myself to be more motivated and hardworking than ever.
I had shopped for Christmas gifts early (I did it simultaneously when I shopped for groceries and there were sales / discounts). No last minute shopping for me. Thank you for the new bag and book for my Christmas gifts!
I am learning to forgive my boss who is dragging me down. He is slowing the progress of my work. I am also learning about patience.
Due to medical reason, I am not allowed by my doctor (and mother) to go out (including to go to my workplace, church). Fortunately, I can still work using my laptop, read, reflect and think. Pretty happy.
Counting my blessings:
@~@ Finished reading and understanding a couple of books.
@~@ Have consulted and learned from my mentors more than in 2011: the super kind MT, Uncle Zhou, Aunt Ning, Aunt SQ (Dec), Uncle Toni, Uncle Roger (Nov), Brother Adam, Brother Tim.
@~@ Planned for the education of LS and obtained the approval from the father of LS. See pink 2012 notebook page 51.
@~@ Reflected on my lessons (Always remember that there are no absolute failures, but temporary setbacks), past achievements (e.g. PhD), and future plans (including being a business-owner entrepreneur, an agent of positive change).
An important lesson:
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
@~@ Have fed myself with positive food for mind and soul (almost daily and every morning). This is highly important because the Russian psychologist Blyuma Zeigarnik discovered early in this century that human beings remember unresolved problems, frustrations, failures, and rejections much better than we remember our successes and completions.
@~@ Being hugged every morning and night by my man. Tips: Women need to be loved, men need to be respected.
@~@ Sent personalized Christmas cards to my friends.
@~@ Ate Shepherd pie and banana pear yoghurt for the breakfast on Christmas Eve. Shepherd pie reminds me on cold and wet England in the winter.
@~@ No need to spend time on commuting means I can sleep more.
@~@ Delivered an almost 90-minute of talk (based on my notes from books I read in 2012) to LS, with breaks in between. Tired. I must train my stamina because I will deliver more inspiring talks in the future. See books2012.txt
@~@ Dressed up myself on Christmas day, though I could not wear my engagement ring (hopefully for temporary). I love the progress of applying make-up, transforming myself into more beautiful than ever.
@~@ Clean flat (since Dec 23rd) thanks to the cleaning lady. We are sleeping on my favorite bed sheets with the pattern of pink flowers and purple leaves. So far, we only have 3 bed sheets.
@~@ Not being able to attend a Christmas mass, I listened to "On Eagle’s Wings". Always remember that "He will raise you up on eagle’s wings".
@~@ Listened to the songs by Mindy Gledhill. Gothic. Soothing. Fairy Tales.
Finally, Merry Christmas to the readers of Blueroselady. I love you!
My simple yet meaningful weekend activities
In the 3rd weekend of the last month of 2012, I
@~@ woke up at 9 am (I was so tired from the night before, we went to Ikea to buy some stuff for our baby and kitchen).
@~@ read a couple of New York Times articles.
@~@ listened to my daily prayer for our baby.
@~@ listened to classical music.
@~@ paid bills, recorded my expenditure.
@~@ updated LinkedIn, added new contacts. Took a lot of time to personalize my message! However, with an investment of few hundred $, I want to ensure that I am connected with the inspiring people I met recently.
@~@ washed dishes. Honestly, I dislike doing this, but my mentor TNH told me to be mindful while washing dishes, as a form of meditation for enlightenment.
@~@ planned for our next dwelling by listing the essential attributes. Main criteria for me: no smokers nearby please!
@~@ hugged my lover. Men who receive kisses and hugs live longer.
@~@ sourced for photographic inspirations for our babies.
@~@ worked through remote connection to my work computer. This is to ensure that my jobs are continuously running even though I am sleeping.
@~@ had a cold shower. So refreshing! When people are deprived of shower, even a simple shower can be so pleasurable!
@~@ cooked steamed double cheese broccoli. 15 minutes to prepare.
@~@ cooked pork rib soup with red dates and wolf berries.
@~@ did yoga cum listened to a lecture from a popular Harvard course. Yes, I am a geek. Listening to the course helped me to do yoga for at least 15 minutes.
@~@ read our wedding wish cards. "Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly." – Sam Keen, American author & philosopher
@~@ made personalized greeting cards for my friends.
@~@ went to church.
@~@ fell in love with the apricot & almond cookies box of Forever Friends vintage. I kept the image of the box as an inspiration.
@~@ ate Baskin-Robbins ice cream of the following flavors: pomegranate vanila, Rocky Road (chocolate with mini marshmallow), with the topping of hot fudge. We thought that the fudge was too sweet for us.
@~@ appreciated starry night (we saw Orion) while strolling at the next door park.
God, I am so grateful and happy, for my simple yet meaningful lifestyle.
"Do It Anyway" poem by Mother Teresa
Over two years ago, I posted this poem by Mother Teresa, and today I encountered this poem again through DZ. Ideas and questions that come back to you again and again may mean something worth pursuing, this is a sign from the nature / God for me.
Do It Anyway
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
What is next? the art of detachment
A mentor from Singapore sent me a transcript by Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang.
He was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer.
Below are what I learned from the sharing which I integrate with my growing thoughts.
Medical aesthetic is a growing field. Richard viewed his patients (sources of income) as vain women, but I empathize with women with low self-esteem. Some people simply do not have the opportunity to grow their inner strength, to detach from the influence of media that worships celebrities and the superficial opinions of other people around them. Sadly, the other people can include parents, spouse, lover, and friends. I remember how my mother’s sister suggested that I should go for a surgery. I was just a primary school kid, and her words did hurt me. Fortunately, I did not listen to her! Later in life, I learned that my attribute is desirable by men whom I am attracted to. Of course, there are also people who have not grown to the stage to accept themselves as a gift from universe. I do not mean to judge, but I respect that different people have different perspectives in life.
A good friend is a gift.
Richard’s friend, Danny offered to extract Richard’s wisdom teeth, went for a 2-day fast for Richard’s recovery.
Danny is a man that goes all the way for his friend.
I want to be like Danny for my friends.
Hebrews 12:7-8
"Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children"
Cancer patients told Richard that many times, people tell them to stay positive.
But those people do not have the same experience as the cancer patients.
However, Richard, being a cancer patient himself, has the license to encourage cancer patients.
While we have positive intentions to encourage people, sometimes our words / actions may not be received well.
Sometimes ago, I volunteer to work with cancer patients. A lady told me that she needs not help after finding out what my profession is. I felt slightly discouraged, but I respect her perspective.
I also remember when I wish someone "Good Luck", and she said "no need".
Similarly, we often hear angry mothers telling their husband "you will never understand the pain of labor".
In contrast, in countries like Singapore and Switzerland, we also hear angry men telling their women "I have to waste n years of my life doing military services, while you enjoy faster progress in education and career".
It is important to have a trust / belief / faith. For Richard, Danny, Blueroselady, and many people, this includes the belief in God. There are people who do not believe in the religious God, but the act of respecting nature / universe, is a form of belief as well.
It is important to love and make service / contribution to others.
To quote Lusi Lim, "while we are celebrating the glory of human success, we must not forget: One day, our wealth, fame and power will all become irrelevant because it will all come to an end…"
According to Richard, many people are blessed with good wealth, but cannot handle them. The more people have, the more people want.
According to Matthew 19:23, Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."
Hard does not mean impossible.
In the mass that we attended on the same day we celebrated our anniversary, I learned from the priest that church teaching does not forbid us to accumulate private property, but we must not be attached to our materialistic wealth.
Therefore, Blueroselady strives to master the art of detachment.
Wealth on its own is neutral, but the master of the wealth can use it for different purposes, e.g. to build hospitals, schools, to help the poor versus to show off by purchasing lavish luxury things (cars, bungalows / villas).
Moreover, there are also different kinds of wealth, we need to achieve a balance in acquiring each aspect of wealth.
Too much focus on materialistic wealth may compensate the growth of spiritual and wisdom wealth.
If one has dependants e.g. children and old parents / relatives without sufficient social security, a total neglect on the acquisition of materialistic wealth (in the basic form of money) is also against our God-planned purpose.
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