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I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

Posts Tagged ‘inspiration

Things to do at age 32-47 (1.5 precious decade)

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  1. Be grateful. Gratitude can soothe your desire and competitiveness. More importantly, gratitude is the root of happiness.
  2. Love yourself. Stand up for yourself for things that matter. Get out of a bad relationship.
  3. Believe that you are beautiful.
  4. Believe in miracles. “永远相信,美好的事情即将发生”
  5. Travel and continuously learn and learn how to learn (meta learning). “Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” ~ God via Robin S. Sharma | Learn new languages by immersion.
  6. Love your work. If you cannot do what you love, at least love what you do. According to Frankl, “We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering”
  7. Take (at least a big) risk(s) to realize your dreams, step by step strategically. Be courageous to explicitly/implicitly express “I love you”. When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.
  8. Be thick face enough not to care too much about what other people think.
  9. Plant kindness. Do your best to ensure that those who are less fortunate than you, believe that there are sunshine and beauty in this world.
  10. Build connection capital. Connection here refers to genuine and authentic relationships, true friendships.
  11. Cherish people, use things (not the other way round).
  12. Appreciate now and here, the moment, the nature and beauty in the forms of visuals, arts, music, delicious cuisine.
  13. Master the art of endurance.
  14. View a painful experience as an avenue to increase your wisdom.
  15. Move / exercise / dance / walk / hike

Ideas are inspired from:

Written by blueroselady

May 2, 2015 at 3:24 pm

A life lesson from a fallen fruit cart: resilience

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The inspiration below is adapted from the story shared by Subroto Bagchi, a co-founder & CEO of MindTree Consulting.

Imagine a busy road junction in a developing country (e.g. China, India, Indonesia) during the peak hour.
The smoke from vehicles.
The burning hot sun.
The dust that hurts eyes.
Everyone is rushing and rushing.
But it has become worse on a particular day.
A fruit seller’s cart has overturned.

His fruits are everywhere on the street floor.
The rushing vehicles are crushing his fruits.
His business for today is over.

Everyday, he woke up at 4 am before dawn or sunrise,
to buy his commodity from the wholesale market.
Then, he walked pushing his cart over a long distance.
Commodity like fruit is easily perishable,
he must sell them by the day.
Sometimes, he has not been successful because of bad weather.
Sometimes, he consumes the left-overs.
Sometimes, he just gives them away.
When unfortunate things like today happen,
he losses his capital,
and has to borrow more money from moneylender – who normally charges neck-choking interests.

Reading his story is like a wake-up call for my friend S who forward it to me.
S has a comfortable job, with stable salary, bonuses, and health insurance.
However, she often finds herself worrying about the future.
Her progress has been slow mainly because of her maternity leave and feeling of inadequate.
I asked S what the worst that can happen?
Her job contract will not be renewed.
Then, I asked S if this means that she can explore possible endeavors that she always dreams of but was too afraid to explore.

Unlike the fruit cart seller who has no financial safety net,
S still has some savings that can last her for at least half a year,
a supportive spouse.
What S needs more is resilience that she can learn from the entrepreneurial fruit cart seller to deal with life.

Written by blueroselady

October 29, 2013 at 4:01 pm

Happiness exercise: Describe yourself in positive ways

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Happiness means differently to different people.
To some people,
happiness means a combination of the followings:# Finding love & happily married
# Having children, grandchildren, great grandchildren
# Good health
# Be financially well-off
# Enjoying a successful career
# Ability to maintain work-life harmony
# Happy relationships with extended family (ie. parents, grandparents, siblings, nephews, etc)
# Fulfilling friendships
# Making a difference to the world. You laugh … yes, many people, including me, set their dreams so high (and hence raising the standards of attaining their happiness).

To sum up, happiness is fundamentally related to health, wealth, and children.

Since happiness is related to so wide and diverse areas of our lives, how can we work on each area of importance to us? How to prioritize?
I believe in exercises / practice. It takes 10,000 hours of practice to give birth to a real talent.
Sincerely, I want you to master the art and science of happiness,
so that you can choose to be happy
even in the face of difficult circumstances and being overwhelmed by negative emotions.

In my designed series of happiness exercises, I would share numerous effective and tested exercise to enjoy happiness in your life.

Today exercise is to describe yourself in positive ways. Write to yourself. List your favorite attributes, your achievements, your roles, your love, and anything elseo about you.

Herein, I do the exercise on myself (in the autumn of 2013)

I am …
# a mother
# a daughter
# a wife
# a student of Coursera, edX
# a researcher
# a storyteller
# an author
# an ex-artist

I love …
# people who love me & whom I love.
You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.” Before Sunset (2004)
# food (especially healthy affordable food and desserts)
# simplicity
# diversity
# reading (and writing) and hence books
# gardens & parks in spring & summer, in early mornings & late afternoons
# philosophy of life
# giving smiles, talks in front of groups
# learning diverse things. I believe in the “See one, Do one, Teach one” model.
# dreams
# personal development, making a syllabus for life / bucket list / life planning
# entrepreneurship + unconventional work
# (and honestly sometimes fear) change / dynamics.
The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.” Isaac Asimov

I used to love …
# travel
# photography
# fireworks
# movies
But now they are not on top of my priorities.

People who have inspired me (non-exhaustively) include:
# Anthony Robbins
# Cayden Chang
# Chris Guillebeau
# Danah Zohar
# Dale Carnegie
# Dong Mingzhu 董明珠
# Goldie Hawn
# Jean Maalouf
# Jessie Louise Yancey-Siegel, affectionately known as Weezie
# Josh Kaufmann
# Joseph Murphy
# Leo Babauta
# Leong Kaiwen
# Louise Hay
# Luciano Passuello
# Michael Ellsberg
# Napoleon Hill
# Robert Cialdini
# Tahir
# Thich Nhat Hanh
# Tim Ferriss
These people are my brothers / sisters, my mentors, my dearest friends.

Things that I want to have / have more / give more to others:
@~@ Happiness
@~@ Health
@~@ Optimism & Hope
@~@ Gratitude
@~@ Kindness e.g. smile
@~@ Empathy e.g. a listening ear
@~@ Wealth
@~@ Wisdom
@~@ Courage e.g. to make new friends

Things that I want to remove / reduce :
@~@ Fear
@~@ Sadness
@~@ Anger
@~@ Envy / Jealousy
@~@ Clutters
@~@ Disappointment

Written by blueroselady

October 2, 2013 at 11:20 am

DO what you LOVE, LOVE what you DO

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Do what you love and love what you do sound simple, but appear complex in practice.

How many of us do what we love for most time of our lives?
How many of us love what we do for most of our doings?
For many people across different ages and roles of life, here are possibilities:
Dreams change.
Goals change.
Plans Change.

Do you love a doing because you are good at the doing?
Would you still love the doing if you are not (yet) good at the doing)?
Would you still love the doing if you are not (yet) good at the doing (even after 10,000 hours of practice)?

A quote by Steve Jobs shared by Jeff Moore:
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.
Don’t settle.
As with all matters of the heart,
you’ll know when you find it."

When I was in high school,
I love (or perhaps prefer) science subjects because my linguistic skills are limited (reason #1).
Apparently and consequently, I did better in maths, chemistry, biology, physics than in language subjects. People love doing things whereby we have a sense of mastery, do you feel so as well?

My native Chinese-speaking classmates who have learned writing and reading since early age, are at ease in the Chinese class.
My Eurasian classmates who have a native speaking father / mother, or those who have English-educated parents, seem to write English so fluently.
They had read thick novels / non-fiction books and easily won the essay writing and elocution competitions.
For me,
to write an essay in English or Chinese,
I had to start from simple structures.
When I have an exam topic of essay to write,
I would quickly jot down some ideas in point form and elaborated on them later as my writing progressed.
Normally, I would write explanatory or argumentative essays, and very rarely narrative essays, simply because of my limited vocabularies.

Reason #2
There are high certainty in science subject exams.
1+1=2. If the answers are right now, they will be right tomorrow.
We love things that we do well.

But in real life (including the real scientific fields as my scientist acquaintances point out),
the rules of game are uncertain.
The rules are not constant; change is the rule of the rules.
That’s why life is the only known example of infinite game is life, according to James P. Carse.
On contrary, examples of finite games are debates, sports, schools, receiving a degree from an educational institution, belonging to a society, or engaging in war.

The surprise in infinite game is the triumph of the future over the past.
So, when you are uncertain about what to do next, an easy step is to
always choose infinite games.

Winning should not be the final goal because after winning, the game stops.
Life is a game that is meant to be continuously played.
Aunt Florence shared some profound advice on how to play the game of life, you may want (and I need) to revise and remember them,
as resilient shortcuts in the moments of negative feelings and events.

Although I honestly feel that my writing is still not up to standard (set through social comparisons with people of similar professional credentials to mine and authors whom I admire),
I will continue writing.
I think this is an example of "DO what you LOVE".

Sometimes we may have to do things that we are not interested, so it is hard to love what we do.
However, the good news are interests are malleable,
they are formed through our past experiences (including education),
so we can change them through learning and unlearning.
Revealingly, you can re-program your minds and interests through conscious efforts,
this attempt will also beneficial to discard some preferences that we would not want to have if we think carefully about them but others manage to incept on us — think of the 2010 science fiction film entitled Inception.

For example, I know a number of people who have focused greatly on their careers,
hate doing house chores or parenting tasks,
but I believe that if they want to,
with right conscious efforts to shift their interests,
they can love what they do.

How to continue love what you do (even if you feel tired / bored / disappointed / frustrated) ?
My friend Tracy suggests using positive feedback loop.
You can establish positive feedback loop when the rewards / pleasure of your doing outweigh the sacrifices / pain.

To DO what you LOVE, you need willpower and courage.
To LOVE what you DO, you need positive feedback and inner security.

Inner security that I means here is not worrying so much about achieving certain levels of success.

More real-world examples:
# Joanna: becoming a mother at age 48
# My friend Leo highlights that people rule out the possibility of great change, because it appears unrealistic.

Finally,
"Do what you love, love what you do & deliver more than you promise!" ~ Harvey Mackay

Written by blueroselady

September 25, 2013 at 4:56 am

Inspiration from Nick Vujicic

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I was changing at Bishan MRT station when I decided to have a dinner at Bishan so I did not have to fight to get into the train during peak hour.

After my dinner, I visited the Popular book store where I found a book Give Me a Hug by Nick Vujicic.

The book was meant for children, yet the messages are universal across ages. I love it so much and made a mental note that this is going to be one of the must-read books for my children.

I also love the illustrations on the book (by 芝麻羔Dreamergo),
the use of brown paper.

Listen to Nick and other panellists talking at the World Economic Forum

In every situation you are, there are people worse than yours.

What keeps you going? Faith

Be thankful for what you have.

Your values are not determined by how rich you are or your jobs or status.

Putting your happiness in temporary things (e.g. career) only creates temporary happiness.

80% of stories of pinnacles of Nick’s life are other people’s stories. Everyone has a story to share.

If I do not have a family, I can be a family for someone else.

@~@

After doing house chores at kitchen, I rewarded myself with freshly squeezed orange juice which is surprisingly sweet (It was the last one out of 5 oranges that I bought last Thursday, but the first 4 were sour).
We love pleasing surprise and I am grateful for today.

Written by blueroselady

August 20, 2013 at 4:50 pm

Character & Care; Freedom and Fortune

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愛分享

《經典的六句話》

①容易走的都是下坡路。Difficulties
②自由不是想幹什麼就幹什麼,而是想不幹什麼就不幹什麼。Freedom

③命,乃失敗者藉口;運,乃成功者的謙詞。 Fate vs fortune.
④打動人心的最佳方法,是談他最珍愛的東西。 Care and concern.

⑤品格不由你佔有的東西決定,而是由你匱乏的東西塑造的。
⑥鬱悶時 (when depressed),坐下來犒勞自已,原諒別人,也放過自己。

Thank you google translate!

Written by blueroselady

August 13, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Our thoughts, words, behavior, habits, values, destiny

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Paraphrasing from Mahatma Gandhi’s words.

Keep our thoughts positive
because our thoughts become
OUR WORDs.

Keep our words positive
because our words become
OUR BEHAVIOR.

Keep our behavior positive
because our behavior become
OUR HABITS.

Keep our habits positive
because our habits become
OUR VALUES.

Keep our values positive
because our values become
OUR DESTINY.

Written by blueroselady

April 30, 2013 at 7:50 am

Posted in inspiration

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Are you / your loved one an ENFP? 26 fun & spontaneous points to understand them

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To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

ENFP = Inspirer = Visionary

Famous people who are ENFP:
Fidel Castro
Bill Cosby
Tom Cruise
Walt Disney
Anne Frank
Che Guevara
Don Quixote
Jerry Seinfeld
Dr. Seuss
Charlie Sheen
Mark Twain
Oscar Wilde
Robin Williams

@~@ have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives.
@~@ value authenticity.
@~@ thoughtfully quixotic / exceedingly idealistic.
@~@ need time alone to center themselves.
@~@ future-oriented.
@~@ project-oriented.
@~@ bright / capable to grasp difficult concepts, abstracts, theories / versatile.
@~@ creative / imaginative / energetic / enthusiastic / curious.
@~@ frisky / playful, bubbly yet serious.
@~@ easily bored / dislike doing routine tasks (including eating the same food everyday!) / dislike bureaucracy.
Solutions:
1. give your ENFP employees / family members new / exciting projects in which they can exercise their creativity.
2. since ENFP is not good at following things through to completion, s/he can collaborate with completer finisher or avoid jobs which require performing a lot of detailed, routine-oriented tasks.
3. for love partner, be comfortable with the need of change and new experiences that ENFP is craving for.
4. ENFP must learn how to prioritize, to overcome procrastination and to be more organized.
@~@ have great people skills, friendly, extremely intuitive and perceptive about people.
@~@ able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease.
@~@ Make connections between events and information very quickly.
@~@ ENFP learns best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others.

@~@ charismatic / a natural entertainer with lively sense of humor & a gift of gab / chatter, dramatic, energetic, optimistic, fun, spontaneous.
@~@ strive for win-win situations.
@~@ Natural leaders, but do not like to control people.
@~@ excel at bringing out the best in others.
@~@ dislike / resist being controlled / labeled / micromanaged by others / restrained by rules / regulations. ENFP strongly needs to be independent & a master of own fate.
@~@ ENFPs do well with suggestions, not commands.
@~@ needs approval / affirmation / appreciation from others, extreme dislike of criticism.
ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.
Solutions: give our dear ENFP friends / colleagues / family members appreciation and gratitude.
@~@ have a strong need to be liked. Solution:
ENFP have to learn to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance.

@~@ ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person / situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
@~@ ENFP often suffers from muscular tension.
Solution:
Learn to discipline themselves against beginning too many projects and making commitments to too many people.
@~@ analysis paralysis. ENFPs always look for hidden motives and tend to over think even the simplest things, constantly asking themselves why someone did what they did and what that might mean.
@~@ naturally agreeable. vulnerable to schemers or con artists.

Suitable career for ENFP:
Entrepreneur
Writer / Journalist / Television Reporter
Computer Programmer / Systems Analyst
Scientist / Engineer
Psychologist
Consultant / Counselor
Teacher
Artist / Actor
Politician / Diplomat

Expectations and communication are two basic areas of relationship.
In love relationship, people are usually attracted to their opposite on the Extraversion/Introversion and Judging/Perceiving scales.
ENFP’s natural love partner is INTJ or INFJ.
However, when it comes to work colleagues, or friends, we are not especially interested in dealing with people who are very unlike ourselves. We are most comfortable with those who have similar interests and perspectives, and we do not show a lot of motivation or patience for dealing with our opposites.

Related:
http://kevintiller.com/about-2/i-am-an-enfp/
http://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/im-married-to-my-polar-opposite-istj-enfp/
http://www.elizabethesther.com/2011/04/in-defense-of-dithering-and-enfps.html
http://www.elizabethesther.com/2012/04/enfp-in-photos.html
http://www.opp.com/en-ie/tools/mbti/mbti-personality-types/enfp
http://happyandhealthykate.wordpress.com/tag/enfp/

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How to read over 100 books a year? 8 effective tips

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A friend of mine, X, a voracious reader living in Singapore shared with me the effective tips to read over 100 books a year.

1. Read books in the fields that you are INTERESTed in.
"Dear sister, do you remember how you finish reading the thick books of Harry Potter? Your interest and liking drove you to move from a page to the next".
Now, we are interested in happiness, health, and wealth.
Having an interest is like having a reason why you are taking a particular actions.
When you have the WHY, the HOW will reveal to you.

2. ASSOCIATE a book with a specific value.
An Adam Khoo program on "master your mind, design your destiny" costs ~ Singapore $3,000.
X told me that she can borrow the book from the Singapore library.
Instead of spending ~Singapore $3,000,
X only has to spend his efforts (time, brain energy) to read the thick book of ~350 pages.
The thickness of the book never discourages him because the cost of S$3,000 means that
for every page that he consumed, he saves $9.
Whenever you feel distracted to do other activities that give instant reward,
think of your mental image of the book with a price tag of $3,000.

Many people ignorantly perceive that reading is a passive activity,
but the truth is watching TV / movies is worse
because the latter slows down our brain.

Reading can be a social activity,
imagine that we are having discussions with the authors.
Take notes on interesting points,
summarize / simplify the main essence of the book,
and relate the ideas
to other books,
real life experience.

X summarizes by creating mind maps on a piece of paper.
When he forgets some parts,
he will quickly revise his mind maps and
be able to recall the details of what he has read.

X also converts his mind map into a voice note,
so that he can listen while taking public transports.
Through summarizing and revising,
X says that he will always remember what I have read and learned.

3. MAKE NOTEs
You can make notes that include
a summarized visual notes (mind map),
auditory notes (from your mind map or some examples that you find useful).
For summary note,
X recommended to use paper,
you can join few sheets of paper
if there are a lot of info and
still have a 1 large summary page.
X also sometimes writes notes in his notebook,
where he can scribble his own comments,
or photograph / scan few pages (of the book)
that contain useful info.

4. Review your notes.
After you review your notes 3x:
the 1st is immediately after finishing reading the book
and making your notes,
the 2nd time is e.g. 1 week / month later,
the 3rd time is 1 year later,
you will never forget the wisdom you have learned from the book.

5. Apply Pareto 80/20 law.
You do not have to read every word,
this applies to your text book as well.
X suggested to start with
TOC,
figures,
summaries at the end of chapters (if any),
headings / subheadings.
Sometimes X starts reading from middle of the book, or back of the book,
it depends on your judgment.
The more you practice,
the better (faster / more absorbent) you will be in reading.

6. Apply Parkinson law
Set a deadline to finish reading.
X loves reading library books because he does not have to spend extra $ to buy the book,
though X claims that he does spend $ to pay tax that contributes to the purchase of the books by lib, and X has a deadline to return the book.
In order to acquire values from the book,
X must read / extract knowledge / wisdom from it before its due date.

7. Connect / link / associate your knowledge
from a source (e.g. the book that you are currently reading)
to other resources (e.g.
the courses you have taken /
the movies or documentaries you have watched /
talks or seminars or conferences you have attended).

8. Apply what you have read.
Write an article
for your school magazine (you can put it in your CV),
for newspapers.
Give a talk.
Walk your talk.

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Written by blueroselady

March 16, 2013 at 12:15 am

Movie: Hugo (2011)

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March 2012

We watched this movie with my lover, sister, and a cousin. Each tic costs only USD 5.5! One of my happiest days in spring 2012.

No planning.

We just arrived at the cinema and decided what to watch.

Perhaps due to the lack of choice, we decided on this 3D movie, which I found lovely and purposeful!

“I like to imagine that the world is one big machine. You know, machines never have any extra parts. They have the exact number and types of parts they need. So I figure if the entire world is a big machine, I have to be here for some reason, too”

“Maybe that’s why a broken machine always makes me a little sad, because it isn’t able to do what it was meant to do…Maybe it’s the same with people,” Hugo continued. “If you lose your purpose…it’s like your broken.”

Written by blueroselady

March 1, 2013 at 7:43 am

Posted in movie

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