Blueroselady's Weblog

I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

Posts Tagged ‘faith

Inspiration from Nick Vujicic

leave a comment »

I was changing at Bishan MRT station when I decided to have a dinner at Bishan so I did not have to fight to get into the train during peak hour.

After my dinner, I visited the Popular book store where I found a book Give Me a Hug by Nick Vujicic.

The book was meant for children, yet the messages are universal across ages. I love it so much and made a mental note that this is going to be one of the must-read books for my children.

I also love the illustrations on the book (by 芝麻羔Dreamergo),
the use of brown paper.

Listen to Nick and other panellists talking at the World Economic Forum

In every situation you are, there are people worse than yours.

What keeps you going? Faith

Be thankful for what you have.

Your values are not determined by how rich you are or your jobs or status.

Putting your happiness in temporary things (e.g. career) only creates temporary happiness.

80% of stories of pinnacles of Nick’s life are other people’s stories. Everyone has a story to share.

If I do not have a family, I can be a family for someone else.

@~@

After doing house chores at kitchen, I rewarded myself with freshly squeezed orange juice which is surprisingly sweet (It was the last one out of 5 oranges that I bought last Thursday, but the first 4 were sour).
We love pleasing surprise and I am grateful for today.

Written by blueroselady

August 20, 2013 at 4:50 pm

How to age healthily? 14 nutritious & delicious tips that are less commonly applied

leave a comment »

Growing up and growing old is inevitable.
Now, the question is: how can we age happily, healthily, and graciously?
Here are tips that are related (and semi-related) to food – one of the most basic need of human beings according to the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

1. Do not let negative stereotypes hold you back.
Believe that you can be healthy and independent.
Have a strong faith that you can contribute values to society and enjoy lives (e.g. travel the world, do exciting activities such as skydiving).
A positive attitude is essential to keep your appetite well.

2. Be aware that the speed / rate we age varies depend on genetics, environmental influences (e.g. pollutants), and lifestyles (including diet, exercise).
In Singapore, the average life span is 81 years old as of 2013.

3. Be physically self-sufficient, so that you can cook for yourself (home-cooked food is always the best!), you can have fun independently.

4. Be financially self-sufficient, so that you can afford to buy nutritious healthy food.
Never ever be financially dependent on progenies / children / nephews / nieces.
Raising children != investing.
Story A:
A good friend of mine K helped to arrange for an elderly care for his divorced uncle.
The old man’s sons refused to take care of him, fortunately he still has a filial nephew.
But how many people like K are out there?
Story B:
A middle age woman whom I know well kindly shared with me that although our world promotes filial piety and even children story books strongly encourage children to love their parents regardless of the economic capabilities of their parents, people can still be affected financially.
Elderly parents who are financially independent can be more likable / gain more respects because they do not have to give additional financial burden to their adult children who have to raise young family.

5. Be emotionally self-sufficient.
You will no longer need daily companions of your children when they go to study / work.
If they visit you daily, it is good.
If they are too busy to visit you, you can pray for their well-beings and success, you can call them using telephones, Skype, KakaoTalk, etc.
The elderly can also seek friends of similar interests / do activities that they have longed for doing.

6. To prevent osteoporosis and fractures, increase intake of Calcium, vitamin D, protein, and do weight-bearing exercises e.g. hiking, dancing.

7. To obtain sufficient vitamin D, spend 10 min under the sun daily or consume oily fish.

8. Eat smaller portion s-l-o-w-l-y but more often.
Enjoy your meal.
Live to eat,
savor every bite and sip.

9. Eat colorfully!
Fruit and vegetables of different colors provide different vitamins and minerals.

10. Eat diversely.
Travel the world through your taste buds.
Consider having each of these per day in a period of 1 week / 10 days / 2 weeks:
Korean food,
Japanese food,
Sichuan food,
Cantonese food,
Vietnamese food,
Peranakan food,
Indian food,
Italian food,
French food,
… and the list goes on.

11. Eat whole grains (e.g. brown rice).
If it is too hard for you, consider the followings:
Cut food into small piece / ground the meat.
Eat softer / mashed / pureed food, just like how babies eat!
Try juices & pureed fruits.

12. Select fats wisely.
Olive oil, sunflower oil, avocado are better sources of fat.
Avoid trans fat that are high in content in fried food, bakery, cakes.
Reduce butter, full cream milk, coconut milk as they have saturated fat.

13. Keep hydrated.
Ensure that you urinate 10-12x within 24 hours.
If not, it means that you do not drink enough.
Apple juice-like of urine color indicates dehydration.

14. As one ages, one will lose teeth and lose senses in taste buds.
Chewing meat to enjoy the taste only is insufficient to obtain protein, you must eat the meat.

If you find my writings are useful to you, please donate to me by clicking here.

Written by blueroselady

April 18, 2013 at 7:32 am

What are interesting activities to engage children? 12 ideas for children living in Singapore

with one comment

1. Walk the green / NATURE ***** : Bukit Timah Hill, MacRitchie Reservoir, Botanic Garden.
2. love the audio / printed BOOKs : libraries ***** , book shops.
3. visit diverse places of FAITH ***** / religious sites : churches , mosques , temples. Teach our children to respect different religions (including free thinkers), to believe in God.
4. learn from TERTIARY EDUCATION **** : e.g. NUS, NTU, SMU. Instill in their mind, since 0 year old the importance of education, the art of learning.
5. MUSIC *** to litte ears : pack mats, picnics & attend free concerts, take PHOTOs **** at Fort Canning Park, Botanic Gardens, The Esplanade.
6. Inspire their creativity through visits to MUSEUMs *** : Singapore History Museum, Asian Civilization Museum, Singapore Art Museum.
Note : though these museums have no free daily admission like my favorite museums in London,
do check out for open days which means FREE entrance.
7. visit FARMs ***, Singapore Zoo, Jurong Bird Park, Hay Diaries, Dian Hu Fish Farm.
8. Fish for fun : Bedok Jetty.
9. visit FINANCIAL institutes * e.g. banks (& teach them the value of money, how to manage their finance).
10. visit MARKETs , SUPERMARKETs : teach them how to shop frugally, compare prices, the most effective & efficient ways to shop.
11. Easy Breezy : fly kite at Marina Barrage.
12. chill with the WATER : swimming pool, beach (safety precaution is highly recommended).

* refers to highly recommended activities by Blueroselady

Note:
1. Most activities are FREE (you only have to spend on transport & food), or relatively cheap.
2. The ideas are inspired from personal survival experience, the first stroll with my first son to his potential first school (an infant care).

If you find my writings are helpful to you, please donate to me by clicking here.

Written by blueroselady

March 15, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Marriage is a journey, not a destination

leave a comment »

From my old green notebook given by Daddy F:
A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together,
it is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

Dave Meurer, "Daze of Our Wives"

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
Russian writer Leo Tolstoy
books2012.txt

Do you want to make your marriage more magical?
I want so much!

I have been learning many tips and would like to share with you who kindly visit Blueroselady WordPress.

Some daisy tips:
Send sexy looking lingerie to your partner as a gift.

Hand-make a gift for your loved one.
Help your loved one overcome his or her greatest fear to strengthen your relationship.

Plan your next honeymoon together.
Make a painting out of your favorite photo together.

Give your partner "massage" coupons, on your account.
Indulge your loved one with homemade ice cream.

Spend a day alone with your partner, with all communication devices turned off.
Slip a love note into your partner’s wallet or purse.

Give your loved one a gift each day for a whole week.
Surprise your spouse with breakfast in bed.

Recreate your first date with your spouse and re-live the magical moments.
Take a dancing class together and enjoy the physical proximity.

Spread a little sunshine by doing charity together.

How to enjoy the marital bliss?
Some serious tips are shared below from loving couples.
# Stay thankful for each passing day of love.
# Stay hopeful when challenges come.
# Stay faithful to the love of your life.
# Do not set unrealistic expectations.
# DO NOT COMPARE your spouse to others.
# Do not try to change your other half (unless his / her habits / attitudes / actions are damaging / destructive).
# Remember that every couple will experience conflict, but conflict is not necessarily bad and leads to destruction or warrants a break up.
# NEVER ever use the D word! Do not use divorce as a bargaining chip.
# When a party is angry / in wrath, agree to call time-out / calm down first, then discuss the issue later.
# Don’t start an argument with "You never … " or "You always …" because accusations only add fuel to the fire.
# Support his / her passion(s).
# Always communicate, TALK / SHARE about your feelings / experiences / things that matter most, even though if you are trapped in the rat race of work.
# GENTLE ANSWERS turn away wrath. Keep your tone, volume, body language calm & loving.
# SELF-CONTROL of your tongue not to say what you are thinking when your spouse speak; let him / her finish speaking.
# Guys, LISTEN attentively to your woman without judgment.
# Ladies, do not expect your man to mind-read & get your hints too much.
# Aware that routine helps couples to feel safe & secure, it is also very easy to cross the line from comfortable to complacent. Thus, remember not to neglect each other’s needs.

Spouse = soul mate = lover = partner.

Letter writing exercise:
To my wife
I love you because …
I appreciate you for …
I love it when you …
love,
[insert your name]

Financial tips for marriage:
# Shop around. Check prices around if you need to make a major purchase.
# Simplify, simplify, simplify. Declutter your life to downsize your material expectations & upsize your contentment in life.
# Categorize your shopping list according to necessities, desires, & absurdities. It trains your mind to focus / spend only on what is necessary.
# Resist impulse buying. Use wait-before-buying rule.
# Track every cent that you spend. Budget your expenditure. Use spreadsheet.

Marriage & children:
# Remember always that children are a gift to be treasured.
# Making your marriage work is the best gift to your children.
# Having children fulfills our instinctive needs to nurture, protect & love.
# Seek the JOY that comes from nurturing a new life.
Success in the workplace cannot replace the fulfillment that a healthy, growing family can give.
Postponing parenthood has a price, including a decrease in fertility as ones grow older.

see also:
How to survive in-laws and not end up out-laws?
How to build a marriage to last?
Marriage sharing by Blueroselady

If you find my writings are helpful to you, please donate to me by clicking here.

Written by blueroselady

March 14, 2013 at 3:03 am

Posted in family, love

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

How to discover our strengths?

leave a comment »

It is better to focus on developing our strengths than repairing our weakness. I have heard this piece of advice many times, from mentors TF to SL, who gave me his first book in winter 2012.

To find out about your strength, you can visit
1. http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu
Then, choose "Brief Strengths Test".
It has 24 questions.
I found that the questions somehow drove me to my self-perceived answers, perhaps real life example-kind of questions will be better.

Here are my strengths:
Love of Learning
Humility/Modesty
Prudence
Appreciation of beauty and excellence [awe, wonder, elevation]
Gratitude
Hope [optimism, future-mindedness, future orientation]
Curiosity [interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience]
Open-mindedness [judgment, critical thinking]
Bravery [valor]
Persistence [perseverance, industriousness]
Love
Kindness [generosity, nurturance, care, compassion, altruistic love, "niceness"]
Self-regulation [self-control]
Creativity [originality, ingenuity]
Perspective [wisdom]
Integrity [authenticity, honesty]
Vitality [zest, enthusiasm, vigor, energy]
Social Intelligence [emotional intelligence, personal intelligence]
Citizenship [social responsibility, loyalty, teamwork]
Forgiveness and mercy
Spirituality [religiousness, faith, purpose]
Fairness
Leadership
Humor [playfulness]

2. Another test "VIA Survey of Character Strengths"
The test has 240 questions.
Some questions are repetitive.
I had a break halfway taking this test, to make delicious papaya milkshake.

For parents, "VIA Strength Survey for Children" is available.

Here are my results:

Your Top Strength
Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Your Second Strength
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums – anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Third Strength
Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Your Fourth Strength
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Your Fifth Strength
Gratitude
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Your Sixth Strength
Industry, diligence, and perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

Your Seventh Strength
Curiosity and interest in the world
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

3. A combination of strengths.
Though we may share some strengths, but we are likely to have different combinations of strengths, that make each of us unique. Let us strive to maximize our combination of strengths through synergy.

After thought:
Since we are growing / changing over time, our results may be different from time to time. It will be interesting to re-take the tests in n years down the road.

Related:
Focus on strengths more, fix weaknesses less

What is next? the art of detachment

with one comment

A mentor from Singapore sent me a transcript by Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang.
He was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer.

Below are what I learned from the sharing which I integrate with my growing thoughts.

Medical aesthetic is a growing field. Richard viewed his patients (sources of income) as vain women, but I empathize with women with low self-esteem. Some people simply do not have the opportunity to grow their inner strength, to detach from the influence of media that worships celebrities and the superficial opinions of other people around them. Sadly, the other people can include parents, spouse, lover, and friends. I remember how my mother’s sister suggested that I should go for a surgery. I was just a primary school kid, and her words did hurt me. Fortunately, I did not listen to her! Later in life, I learned that my attribute is desirable by men whom I am attracted to. Of course, there are also people who have not grown to the stage to accept themselves as a gift from universe. I do not mean to judge, but I respect that different people have different perspectives in life.

A good friend is a gift.
Richard’s friend, Danny offered to extract Richard’s wisdom teeth, went for a 2-day fast for Richard’s recovery.
Danny is a man that goes all the way for his friend.
I want to be like Danny for my friends.

Hebrews 12:7-8
"Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children"

Cancer patients told Richard that many times, people tell them to stay positive.
But those people do not have the same experience as the cancer patients.
However, Richard, being a cancer patient himself, has the license to encourage cancer patients.
While we have positive intentions to encourage people, sometimes our words / actions may not be received well.
Sometimes ago, I volunteer to work with cancer patients. A lady told me that she needs not help after finding out what my profession is. I felt slightly discouraged, but I respect her perspective.
I also remember when I wish someone "Good Luck", and she said "no need".
Similarly, we often hear angry mothers telling their husband "you will never understand the pain of labor".
In contrast, in countries like Singapore and Switzerland, we also hear angry men telling their women "I have to waste n years of my life doing military services, while you enjoy faster progress in education and career".

It is important to have a trust / belief / faith. For Richard, Danny, Blueroselady, and many people, this includes the belief in God. There are people who do not believe in the religious God, but the act of respecting nature / universe, is a form of belief as well.

It is important to love and make service / contribution to others.
To quote Lusi Lim, "while we are celebrating the glory of human success, we must not forget: One day, our wealth, fame and power will all become irrelevant because it will all come to an end…"

According to Richard, many people are blessed with good wealth, but cannot handle them. The more people have, the more people want.
According to Matthew 19:23, Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."
Hard does not mean impossible.
In the mass that we attended on the same day we celebrated our anniversary, I learned from the priest that church teaching does not forbid us to accumulate private property, but we must not be attached to our materialistic wealth.
Therefore, Blueroselady strives to master the art of detachment.
Wealth on its own is neutral, but the master of the wealth can use it for different purposes, e.g. to build hospitals, schools, to help the poor versus to show off by purchasing lavish luxury things (cars, bungalows / villas).
Moreover, there are also different kinds of wealth, we need to achieve a balance in acquiring each aspect of wealth.
Too much focus on materialistic wealth may compensate the growth of spiritual and wisdom wealth.
If one has dependants e.g. children and old parents / relatives without sufficient social security, a total neglect on the acquisition of materialistic wealth (in the basic form of money) is also against our God-planned purpose.

Written by blueroselady

October 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm

How to play the game of life?

with 4 comments

In the 3rd weekdays of September 2012, I finished reading a classic entitled "The game of life and how to play it" written by Florence Scovel Shinn which was published in 1925, that was 87 years ago!
Due to different era of writing, honestly I do not understand every detail that she wrote, but I am so grateful that I grasp the most important essences.

Every game has rules:
Forgiveness law*. Quickly apply this law when you are erred / angry / disappointed.
Karma / cause-and-effect law. Reading horoscopes / bazi (八字) deals only with the cause-and-effect law, but a very strong mind can neutralize a prophecy of evil. For example, a horoscope reader once told my mother that she will live until 65. I do not believe it. Knowing how positive my mother is in her thought (she survived and overcame disasters and deaths calmly), I believe that she will live a much longer life with her healthy mind and body. God, I pray to you to take care the woman I love most.
Expectancy law*
Gratitude / appreciation law*
Divine protection law*. This law is useful to deal with the fear of forgetfulness. I cannot lose anything that belong to me. Anything lost, will be returned, or I will receive its equivalent.
Prosperity law*
Substitution law

Our thoughts significantly affect our lives.
What we imagine, sooner or later externalize.
Therefore, I strive to always think positive.
Sometimes, when you read self-help book, you will find some negative examples.

But the good news is positive thoughts and affirmations are many times more powerful than negative thoughts.
If you realize that you are thinking something negatively, quickly replace them with positive thoughts / affirmations / explanations.

By understanding the game of life, we enjoy love, happiness, health, prosperity / wealth, and self-actualization / self-expression.
Believe that each of us has the power to bless, heal, and prosper.

According to Florence, we have
1. conscious mind
2. subconscious mind / soul
3. superconscious mind / spirit

Notes to apply in life (based on the book and Blueroselady’s interpretations):
To use my conscious mind to reject negative thoughts / beliefs / opinions but to promote positive thoughts.

Our conscious mind can be the best FILTER we have to select thoughts and ideas that BLESS, HEAL, INSPIRE, and FILL our soul with JOY.
The subsconscious mind does not understand humors, so please do not say / joke about negative things. The same advice was also given by Joseph Murphy in his 1963 book: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind.

The forgiveness law is stronger than the cause-and-effect law. Always seek forgiveness for our mistakes and forgive others.
To talk about only what we want, not what we do not want. To say words that heal, bless, or prosper. Do not complain, criticize, or gossip. What man condemns in others, he attracts to himself.

Say thanks for our blessings (gratitude / appreciation law) when we wake up and before we sleep.
To be prosperous, we must be orderly (e.g. then our finances can be in order). De-clutter our lives.
Give (gifts, tithe) with love and cheerfulness. Give without expecting returns / gratitude from others; but receive my gifts with happiness and gratitude (if one does not accept the returns of his kindness, one violates law for all gifts are from God and people are merely the channel). Do not think that the giver will suffer a lack as a result of giving to us, because we are giving the giver an opportunity to do an act of kindness.

How to impress our subconscious mind?
1. active faith. Faith = an effort of will.
2. music
3. making-believe (like little children)

Why is the forgiveness law is stronger than the cause-and-effect law?

1. God has redeemed us from the karma law.
2. The God within us is our Redeemer and Savior.
3. If our past wrong cannot be righted, its effect can be neutralized by doing an act of kindness in the present.

Why is it important to say thanks for our blessings when we wake up and before we sleep?
1. Man often suffers loss through lack of appreciation. For example, a man who says he does not care about his marriage (to a nice wife) ends up losing his wife because his subconscious mind works to get him unmarried. Do not be indifferent / critical / unispiring to your partner, because this means you do not appreciate / are note grateful for your partner.

2. Being grateful allows me to be in equilibrium / HARMONY with my desire, hope, and ambitions.

On the importance of the HARMONY:
We must be in harmony with a thing in order to attract it.

2 attitudes of mind cause loss:
1. lack of appreciation / gratitude. For example, a man who does not appreciate his wife and losing her.
2. fear of loss. This fear makes a picture of loss in the subconscious.

INTUITION
intuition = to be taught from within.

Ask, and it shall be given you,
seek, and ye shall find,
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
(Mat 7:7)

A real simple example of this Bible phrase is when I find a seat on crowded trains for most of the time.
I always go to the platform with less people (applying the SEEK).
While waiting for the train to come, I pray that there will be a seat for me (expectancy law).

Sometimes, there will be an empty seat for me because someone just get down when I board the train.
Sometimes, a kind person gives his / her seat for me. I try my best to thank the person twice, when I sit down and when I leave the train (gratitude law). I do not think that I am depriving the person a seat because I am giving an opportunity for the person to do an act of kindness. Moreover, not many people bother to thank others twice. In doing so, I hope that I can encourage more kindness.

Sometimes, people will just continue reading newspapers / playing with their IT gadgets / returning to sleep (in the seat reserved for pregnant women!), even though they may see my pregnant tummy. This can be challenging when I am tired / dizzy, yet I tell myself to practice the forgiveness law. These people may also be tired from working whole day.

I pray that an empty seat will become available by the next station.
Because I cannot move fast, someone may arrive at that desired seat faster than me.
In this case (applying the ASK), I say "sorry, can you please let me sit? Thank you".

Most time people will give the seat to me.
Of course the person can say No, but I believe that I will be safe throughout my journey (divine protection law).

Ask with faith (believing).
Desire without worry.

Act as if I have already received (prosperity, health, happiness).

We can control any situation if we can control ourselves.
When one loses his temper, he loses his power.

No man can fail, if a person sees him successful.

Therefore, we often hear the saying, behind every successful man, there is a woman (his wife).
Behind successful Blueroselady, there is a man who believes in Blueroselady’s ability to succeed.
The same thing goes when we see (visualize) our parents, children, siblings, friends, proteges successful, then they cannot fail.

Parents, do not over worry about your children.
Why?
Children are sensitive and receptive to the thoughts of others around them, especially their parents.
When parents / grandparents over worry about their children, the little ones attract illnesses / accidents.

Instead, as a mother, I sincerely affirm that I puts my child in God’s hands and he is divinely protected (divine protection law).

Parents should never force careers and professions upon their children.
Let the God in the child has perfect expression.

Suppose you have several talents, how do you know which one to choose?
Affirm: Dear God, please give me a definite lead, reveal to me my perfect self-expression, show me which talent I am to make use now.

Fear less.
Why?
Man attracts what he fears.
See the tips on how to overcome fear.

An old saying:
No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.

Positive affirmations (to say daily):
God is love.
God is supply.
God is my unfailing supply, and large sums of money come to me quickly in perfect ways.
I puts my child in God’s hands and he is divinely protected (divine protection law).

As 1 door shuts, another door opens.
Dear God, please give me a definite lead, reveal to me my perfect self-expression, show me which talent I am to make use now.
I have a wonderful work (business), in a wonderful way, I give wonderful service, for wonderful pay (income).

More positive affirmations are here.

Written by blueroselady

September 22, 2012 at 6:25 am