Things to do at age 32-47 (1.5 precious decade)

1. Be grateful. Gratitude can soothe your desire and competitiveness. More importantly, gratitude is the root of happiness.
2. Love yourself. Stand up for yourself for things that matter. Get out of a bad relationship.
3. Believe that you are beautiful.
4. Believe in miracles. “永远相信，美好的事情即将发生”
5. Travel and continuously learn and learn how to learn (meta learning). “Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” ~ God via Robin S. Sharma | Learn new languages by immersion.
6. Love your work. If you cannot do what you love, at least love what you do. According to Frankl, “We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering”
7. Take (at least a big) risk(s) to realize your dreams, step by step strategically. Be courageous to explicitly/implicitly express “I love you”. When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.
8. Be thick face enough not to care too much about what other people think.
9. Plant kindness. Do your best to ensure that those who are less fortunate than you, believe that there are sunshine and beauty in this world.
10. Build connection capital. Connection here refers to genuine and authentic relationships, true friendships.
11. Cherish people, use things (not the other way round).
12. Appreciate now and here, the moment, the nature and beauty in the forms of visuals, arts, music, delicious cuisine.
13. Master the art of endurance.
14. View a painful experience as an avenue to increase your wisdom.
15. Move / exercise / dance / walk / hike

Ideas are inspired from:

• Blueroselady
• http://my.vdoobv.com/article.aspx?id=1014742
• http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/37-things-youll-regret-when-youre-old#.gpKVYo7V0

Gratitude exercise: Write & remember affirmations of gratitude

I am grateful that I am alive.
I appreciate that I have an attitude of gratitude.
I am thankful that I see the blessing on the flip side of the challenging issues.
I appreciate that I love myself through the hard times.

I am grateful that my health is better than yesterday.
I am grateful that my health is better than last week.
I am grateful that my health is better than last month.
I am grateful that my health is better than last year.

I appreciate opportunities to learn different, useful things.
I appreciate that my ability to understand things effortlessly is improving everyday.
I appreciate opportunities to enjoy greenery, sunrise, sunset.

I am thankful for my parents, my husband, my baby.
I am thankful for my siblings.
I am thankful for my friends and acquaintances.
I am thankful for my job and my source of livelihood.

Recipe for a Happy Life : 44 ingredients and instructions prepared with love

Towards the end of 2013, I am grateful that I have an serendipitous opportunity to meet & learn from Cheryl Saban. Her eyes, gaze, smiles and life experience reminds me on Louise Hay.

Cheryl introduced me to a coffee table book of her, which is beautifully prepared with pastel-tone, day-wedding-like photos. I am also grateful to Emily Westlake who was responsible for the picture research. Those charming, gentle and simple photographs and images of flowers, glasses, plants, seaside, nostalgic items are indeed heart-warming for cold December. Those soft, natural light falling gently on ordinary items make them look extraordinary.

Reflecting on Cheryl’s sharing, people do face financial woes, marital strife, and health problems. This perspective seems to connect with Michael’s view that it is rare for a person to have excellence in all areas of wealth, relationships, and health.

So, here are the ingredients & instructions for a happy life that I like:

@~@ LOVE & RELATIONSHIPs / CONNECTIONs
# Give love, create love, and receive love.
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved" ~ George Sand.
# Be kind & encouraging. "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi
# Practice random act of kindness.
"Always be a little kinder than necessary." ~ James M. Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan.
# Give to others.
"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed." ~ Maya Angelou.
# Give your time, talent, treasure to others.
# Connect to yourself.
# Connect to nature.
# Connect to God.
# Connect to others : family members, friends, colleagues.
# Find & cherish your soul mate.
"The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it is learning to love the person you found."
# Forgive yourself.
# Forgive others.

@~@ GRATITUDE
# Be content with who you are.
"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson.
# Be grateful.
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." ~ Marcel Proust
# Count your blessings.
# Respect the power of nature, be thrilled by the miracle of birth.
# Appreciate the special beauty that is present in even the most mundane & everyday things, e.g. the very air that you breathe, sunrise, sunset, moonlight.
"The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration." ~ Claude Monet.
# Be happy for others.
"This is not a competition — there is plenty of happiness to go around, once you know where to look." ~ Cheryl Saban.

@~@ HEALTH
# Eat reasonably.
# Sleep deeply.
# Walk.

@~@ BELIEVE & HOPE
# Pray incessantly.
# Nurture your spiritual beliefs
# Journalling / Keep a diary.
# Engage in positive internal conversations.
# Write your story (in encouraging ways).
# Meditate.
# Attract positive experiences.
"Remember the Law of Attraction, and make an effort to attract positive, happy experiences into your life."
# Develop inner strength.
"Be willing to live life to your fullest potential, and believe in the fact that you have plenty of it." ~ Cheryl Saban.
# Search inside yourself.
"The foolish man seek happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." ~ James Oppenheim.
# Learn.
"Master a new skill. When you take the time to engage in activities that absorb your full attention, you’ll experience a sense of well-being and contentment." ~ Cheryl Saban.
Blueorselady : think of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s flow.
# Look for ways to be inspired.

@~@ INDEPENDENCE & RESPONSIBILITY
"Independence is happiness." ~ Susan B. Anthony.
# Choose happiness.
"50% of a given human’s happiness level is genetically determined (based on twin studies), 10% is affected by life circumstances and situation, and a remaining 40% of happiness is subject to self control." ~ Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness.
# Think positively. "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts." Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.
# Learn positive coping skills.
"Avoid false fixes. Over-indulging in shopping, food, alcohol, or drugs won’t bring you happiness." ~ Cheryl Saban.
# Try to make at least three people smile each day — beginning with yourself!

@~@ PASSION
# Discover your passions.
"Explore. Dream. Discover" ~ Mark Twain.
# Improve your talents.
# Have purposes, dreams, goals.
"It is one of my dreams to publish a coffee table book, I believe I can. A book that can help myself, my loved ones & others to enjoy a lifetime of contentment and fulfilment. Thank you Cheryl for your encouragement!"
# Be proactive.
"Turn wishful thinking into positive action. Those who take a proactive stance in their lives tend to have an ample supply of joy and pleasure" ~ Cheryl Saban.
# Seek positive role models.
# Learn life-enhancing, esteem-building behaviors from your role models, heroes / heroines, masters, jedi / guru / mentors.
# Be persevered for things that matter. https://blueroselady.wordpress.com/2013/11/01/perseverance-why-does-it-matter-can-perseverance-be-learned/
# Work.
"Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others." ~ Buddha.

Happiness exercise: daily O.G.A.M for our well-beings

Everyday, when you wake up try to practice O.G.A.M for your well-beings, as a part of happiness exercises.

Optimism increases our hope.
Gratitude increases our joy.
Affirmations increase our confidence.

Mindfulness increases our peace.

More:
Optimism / positivity increases our hope. Optimism : (1) the belief that good things will happen to us and that negative events are temporary / transient setbacks / challenges to be overcome (2) an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome. Aim for realistic optimism.
Gratitude increases our joy ; gratitude is about appreciating who we are, what we have and where we are — right now, right here. Notice and be thankful for the present.
Affirmations increase our confidence / self-belief.

Mindfulness / mediation / praying / dreaming / mind time / mental processing increases our peace.

Gratitude exercise: write a letter / post about a gadget / an appliance that benefits your life

I am grateful for my blender.
Blender is a versatile small appliance that everyone who loves home made, healthy, and delicious food must have.

Herein, I write a post to describe how my blender has benefited and brought joy to our lives.

Dear blender

Thank you for being so efficient in providing my family with delicious and healthy food.

We have enjoyed so numerous healthy and delicious items.
Papaya milkshake
papaya banana milkshake
banana chocolate milkshake
strawberry banana milkshake
avocado chocolate milkshake
avocado coffee milkshake
honeydew milkshake
They taste so delicious, preservative-free, 100% natural, and healthy (I normally do not add additional sugar like commercially available juices).

Puree for baby (ideas for recipe here)

Next, I plan to try use blender to make soup (Oh! how I miss those hot / warm soup of 2007-2009).
The following recipes are designed on my mind (no testing done yet) as inspired by other recipes.

PUMPKIN SOUP
1. cook / the followings in a pan / pot / rice cooker / slow cooker:
# pumpkin
# meat / pork rib and/or dried scallop
# 1 clove garlic, minced
# 1 onion, chopped
# pepper to taste
# thyme, chopped / ginger / cinnamon / Rosemary
PS: I may also saute the garlic, onion, thyme / ginger with olive oil / sesame oil.
2. Then blend in small batches (e.g. 1 cup / time) / use hand blender.
3. To make the soup creamier, add milk.
4. Garnish with fresh parsley / coriander.

SWEET POTATO SOUP
Same as pumpkin soup, just replace the pumpkin with sweet potato

CREAMY BAYLEYS MUSHROOM SOUP
Use low heat to saute mushroom in little olive oil.
When the liquid is released from the mushroom, add Bayleys and cream / oat.
Transfer the mushroom into a pot of boiled meat / ribs.
Bring to boil. Add milk.
Add pepper to taste.

More ideas …
barley soup
pear soup
add carrot to sweeten to soup

Tips:
for your safety, use bottle brush to wash to prevent the blades from accidentally cutting any of your finger.

Happiness exercise: Describe yourself in positive ways

Happiness means differently to different people.
To some people,
happiness means a combination of the followings:# Finding love & happily married
# Having children, grandchildren, great grandchildren
# Good health
# Be financially well-off
# Enjoying a successful career
# Ability to maintain work-life harmony
# Happy relationships with extended family (ie. parents, grandparents, siblings, nephews, etc)
# Fulfilling friendships
# Making a difference to the world. You laugh … yes, many people, including me, set their dreams so high (and hence raising the standards of attaining their happiness).

To sum up, happiness is fundamentally related to health, wealth, and children.

Since happiness is related to so wide and diverse areas of our lives, how can we work on each area of importance to us? How to prioritize?
I believe in exercises / practice. It takes 10,000 hours of practice to give birth to a real talent.
Sincerely, I want you to master the art and science of happiness,
so that you can choose to be happy
even in the face of difficult circumstances and being overwhelmed by negative emotions.

In my designed series of happiness exercises, I would share numerous effective and tested exercise to enjoy happiness in your life.

Today exercise is to describe yourself in positive ways. Write to yourself. List your favorite attributes, your achievements, your roles, your love, and anything elseo about you.

Herein, I do the exercise on myself (in the autumn of 2013)

I am …
# a mother
# a daughter
# a wife
# a student of Coursera, edX
# a researcher
# a storyteller
# an author
# an ex-artist

I love …
# people who love me & whom I love.
“You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.” Before Sunset (2004)
# food (especially healthy affordable food and desserts)
# simplicity
# diversity
# reading (and writing) and hence books
# gardens & parks in spring & summer, in early mornings & late afternoons
# philosophy of life
# giving smiles, talks in front of groups
# learning diverse things. I believe in the “See one, Do one, Teach one” model.
# dreams
# personal development, making a syllabus for life / bucket list / life planning
# entrepreneurship + unconventional work
# (and honestly sometimes fear) change / dynamics.
“The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.” Isaac Asimov

I used to love …
# travel
# photography
# fireworks
# movies
But now they are not on top of my priorities.

People who have inspired me (non-exhaustively) include:
# Anthony Robbins
# Cayden Chang
# Chris Guillebeau
# Danah Zohar
# Dale Carnegie
# Dong Mingzhu 董明珠
# Goldie Hawn
# Jean Maalouf
# Jessie Louise Yancey-Siegel, affectionately known as Weezie
# Josh Kaufmann
# Joseph Murphy
# Leo Babauta
# Leong Kaiwen
# Louise Hay
# Luciano Passuello
# Michael Ellsberg
# Napoleon Hill
# Robert Cialdini
# Tahir
# Thich Nhat Hanh
# Tim Ferriss
These people are my brothers / sisters, my mentors, my dearest friends.

Things that I want to have / have more / give more to others:
@~@ Happiness
@~@ Health
@~@ Optimism & Hope
@~@ Gratitude
@~@ Kindness e.g. smile
@~@ Empathy e.g. a listening ear
@~@ Wealth
@~@ Wisdom
@~@ Courage e.g. to make new friends

Things that I want to remove / reduce :
@~@ Fear
@~@ Sadness
@~@ Anger
@~@ Envy / Jealousy
@~@ Clutters
@~@ Disappointment

Inspiration from Nick Vujicic

I was changing at Bishan MRT station when I decided to have a dinner at Bishan so I did not have to fight to get into the train during peak hour.

After my dinner, I visited the Popular book store where I found a book Give Me a Hug by Nick Vujicic.

The book was meant for children, yet the messages are universal across ages. I love it so much and made a mental note that this is going to be one of the must-read books for my children.

I also love the illustrations on the book (by 芝麻羔Dreamergo),
the use of brown paper.

Listen to Nick and other panellists talking at the World Economic Forum

In every situation you are, there are people worse than yours.

What keeps you going? Faith

Be thankful for what you have.

Your values are not determined by how rich you are or your jobs or status.

Putting your happiness in temporary things (e.g. career) only creates temporary happiness.

80% of stories of pinnacles of Nick’s life are other people’s stories. Everyone has a story to share.

If I do not have a family, I can be a family for someone else.

@~@

After doing house chores at kitchen, I rewarded myself with freshly squeezed orange juice which is surprisingly sweet (It was the last one out of 5 oranges that I bought last Thursday, but the first 4 were sour).
We love pleasing surprise and I am grateful for today.

Has anyone donated to your blog? If yes, please share your story

Since the spring 2013,
I started putting a link to donate to me at the end of my post.

Until the early summer 2013,
nobody has visited my donation page.

I don’t want to bombard my dearest readers with ads or affiliate links,
so asking for donation is an option for me.
I believe that if I bring values to others,
the financial reward will come naturally.

Marian Schembari wrote that although she wanted to donate for some blogs that she like,
she has actually never done it.
Donating is like giving tips.

Although nobody has donated to me,
I aspire to write and share my best knowledge and wisdom.
I will never give up.

Now, I am learning from the following people:
@~@ Darren Rowse shared that for getting willing donations, a blog must have (i) a very large readership (ii) a very loyal readership (iii) no other forms of income because they result in a perception that the blog was already making money
@~@ Jimmy Moore, of Livin’ La Vida Low Carb, who makes a couple hundred bucks per month from donations.
@~@ Jason Kottke of www.kottke.org : He created supporter list for 2005, which he also called his micropatrons.

What will I do?

(A) I will write a free e-books for my dearest readers.
Is there any particular topic that you want me to write about?
I would love to hear from you!

(B) When someone donates to me (in the near future),
I will thank you!
You are my supporters!
I am a grateful person.
I give without expecting gratitude from others,
but when others give to me,
I always try my best to express my gratitude.

Blueroselady, がんばる!
Blueroselady, 加油!
Blueroselady, 传灯!

How to live a healthy life? 17 simple tested tips

1. Rest well. Sleep 6-8 hours daily.

2. Live a life of integrity, so that you can sleep well at night.

3. Master the art of how to stop worrying, so that you can sleep well at night.
Many years ago, I found the simple tips by Dale Carnegie help.
I have added more tips to my arsenal,
and will share about it more.

4. Know when & how to say NO to unnecessary activities / requests.

5. Remember “Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind.”
Beware of culture-driven narcissism.

6. Remember “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”
Example:
When my good friend L was serving in Students’ Union, she gave her best to serve the students as an act of gratitude.
L was from a relatively poor family but fortunately she received full scholarhsip and some living allowance, so she was highly motivated to give back to other fellow students.
Sadly, her predecessor (in Students’ Union) scolded her ‘lackey’ / ‘running dog’.
Later she realized that her predecessor was just a man who was hungry for power, loved to drink excessive alcohol, and did not care of others.
No need to care about his word.
I personally found L an inspiring leader.
She was willing to help her subordinates much more beyond what her predecessor did.

7. Pray to say your gratitude and aspirations / hope.

8. Forgive.
The most forgiving person I have ever known: Jesus.
When you want to forgive someone (but still feel the hurt inside), remember Jesus.

9. Harbor no intention to harm others.
害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无.
If you have been erred, the best revenge is success.

10. Eat more vegetables and fruit; eat less red meat.
Tips:
cook rice with some healthier choices e.g.
sweet potatoes
carrot
pumpkin

11. Eat home cooked food.
Honestly, cooking can consume a lot of time.
On Vesak Day of 2013, I spent my time from 10am – 4 pm going to shop for groceries, washing, peeling, cutting, and cooking.
Yes, I do take a time out for brunch, feeding and bathing my child.
But, it consumed 25% of my time.
My strategy to cope:
do not cook on continuous days,
if possible cook on alternate days.

12. Try your best to pass motion daily.
When the diaper of my first son was wet,
it was more difficult for him to relax and pass motion, regardless that I train him to pass motion.
That is why he loved to pass motion after I just changed his diaper.

13. Stroll / walk, breathe in fresh air @ park / natural reserves / gardens / beaches. Nature heals!
If you have a dog, you can walk your dog.

14. Reframe your perspectives of doing house chores as a form of exercises.

15. While you pursue the tangible, cherish the intangible.
At the end of the day, it is the intangible (love, happiness, health, harmony / peace) that matters.
However,
to have the intangible,
one must have the tangible : money (e.g. to travel / to learn / to buy), achievements (e.g. degree, career promotion, sales record), materials (e.g. nutritious food, warm clothings, safe home / luxurious bungalow).
Solution?
1. Prioritize.
2. Practice the art of balancing.

16. Write to yourself.
Read
http://goinswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/The-Writers-Manifesto.pdf
Keep a diary / journal.
Reflect.
This helps to prioritize.

17. Create for yourself & share it to others.
My simple definition of “create” include
think of ideas.
write your ideas down.
do it (e.g. experiments / cooking / dance).
design products.
photograph your creation.
make audios of your ideas & creations (e.g. if your idea is in the form of song / poem / speech).
make videos of your ideas & creations.
make presentations (using e.g. powerpoint).
invent / innovate business ideas / business models.
the list goes on
…
and most importantly
share them to the world with your greatest LOVE!
Honestly, the act of creating makes me so happy.

If you find my writings are useful to you, please donate to me by clicking here.

Reflections on Coursera: 7 reasons I love it

This post is not a review of Coursera.

My sincere appreciation to Coursera for providing me an opportunity to learn many interesting subjects and to improve the quality of my life.

These are seven reasons I love it (as of summer 2013).

1. FREE.
Coursera courses are free as of summer 2013.
Some of the best things in life are free,
for example the love of parents to their children.

2. An opportunity to practice GRATITUDE.
According to Thomas Paine, human beings tend to take things for granted.
“That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.
It is dearness only which gives everything its value.”
By being grateful, we can live happier and more fulfilling.

3. FLEXIBILITY.
The Coursera lectures are presented in short videos which are ideal for the following people:
workers who want to improve their knowledge and skills.
breastfeeding mothers who have to attend to young babies.
commuters who have to travel far on public transports.

4. SOCIAL & ECONOMIC ENABLERS for those who cannot afford to o for schooling due to their earlier life circumstances.
A friend of mine mentions that he prefers to hire those who have completed Coursera courses* (and are able to apply what they have learned) to those who present traditional educational certifications.
He reasons that those who strive to upgrade their knowledge & skills on their own initiative, need to put efforts & discipline.

* Statement of Accomplishment can prove that one has completed a Coursera course.

Indeed, MOOCs such as Coursera have a great potential to unlock career and educational opportunities, and find new life pathways for people of all ages regardless of current social economic background.

5. an opportunity to practice perseverance, discipline, the art of prioritizing (doing first thing first), and to experience the joy of learning.

Top Ten Reasons Students Didn’t Finish MOOC:

• Takes too Much Time
• Assumes Too Much Knowledge
• Too Basic
• Lecture Fatigue
• Poor Course Design
• Clunky Community/Communication Tools
• Bad Peer Review & Trolls
• Surprised by Hidden Costs
• Shopping Around
• Want to Learn, Nor for Credential

6. MEET NEW PEOPLE.
Coursera offers a community of fellow students / learners hailed from worldwide.
This satisfy human beings’ need to socialize.

7. ENTERTAINING.
Some of Coursera courses that I have attended have offered a delicious treat to our senses: visual, audio, tastes, odor, and touch.
For example,
(i) from the Coursera course on child nutrition & cooking instructed by Maya Adam (Stanford University),
I have learned how to cook delicious & healthy pasta with homemade sauce.
While watching me cooking in the kitchen, my baby experience the fragrant smell of pasta,
and in the near future he will be able to taste it too.
(ii) Coursera videos feature instructors from different regions worldwide (mostly Americans as of summer 2013).
These videos also serve as an avenue to learn e.g. American English.

What’s next?
Udacity
edX

If you find my writings are inspirational to you, please donate to me by clicking here.