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I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

Book: How to achieve inner strength

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Author: Shammi Sukh

You have within you GREAT POWERS and boundless RESERVES of potential and ability that can enable you to accomplish extraordinary things in life. p9

You are born FREE, free to choose or shape your life. p11

… they actively and constructively ponder over the possibilities, and the inner power of the SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND automatically CREATES the SOLUTIONS needed. p12

… mind predominates both environment & circumstances.

… the ‘right train’ of thoughts can take you to a better ‘destination’ in life. p12

… choose to INTERPRET the events in life in such a way that they become happier, more effective and successful.

A powerful person is an actor, not a reactor. p18

“Why are you so nice to him when he is so rude to you?”
“Because I don’t want him to decide how I am going to act”

It is estimated by psychologists that our life-patterns, i.e. mental programming, is decided by the time we are 5 years old. p20
Blueroselady: must guide our progenies well!

Undoubtedly, education, money and social status are essential for leading a good life but … the source of all the problems lies within. p21

When we change our beliefs, we change our attitude.
When we change our attitude, we change our behaviour.
And, with our changed behaviour, our life changes.

The ship analogy:
When a ship sails, can all the water around it sink the ship?
The answer is NO.
Only the water that gets into the ship, can make it sink.
It is not the ‘negative’ environment that sinks us but the ‘negative’ thoughts which enter into our mind that do.
The ‘negative’ environment will contiune to exist; no matter what we do.
The ‘negative’ thougts, which get into our mind, are a matter of concern.

Does it mean we can do anything with the help of inner-power?
No amount of inner-power can spare you the need to learn the skills and knowledge required for achieving your goals.

Many people disempower themselves by empowering circumstances, situations and other people to control them. p24

By believing that you can be what you want to be, you can achieve what you want to achieve.

“Anytime we think the problem is ‘out there’ that thought is the problem” Stephen R. Covey p26

a person’s life is a portrait of himself p27

The good news is that
You really do not know
How great you can be,
How much you can love,
What you can accomplish and
What your potential is.
— Anne Frank

What is self-esteem?
Having good self-esteem means that you love, respect and trust yourself. p30

good things begin to happen when we fall in love with ourselves. p31

Another problem with people having low self-esteem is that they never forget the mistakes they’ve made, but they tend to forget or diminish their achievements.

A person with low self-esteem has a higher need of attention and sympathy from others, and needs to be made to feel ‘important’ more often as compared to others.
Q. How can we help these people?
Blueroselady: give them more attention, empathy, sympathy.

How do people with low self-esteem suffer? p34

1. criticizing & blaming others.
Since they keep on criticizing & belittling others, the others often dislike them.
People who have the habit of laughing at others’ failures mistakes or weaknesses, suffer from low self-esteem.
“People who have no respect for themselves have trouble respecting others” Roger Dawson.
Roger Dawson = a leading jazz and salsa disc jockey in the USA and acknowledged as at the forefront of New York’s Salsa music explosion of the seventies and early eighties.

2. Avoiding disapproval from others
The fear of disapproval or “what other people might say” is very common.
…, some people spend $ to buy things they don’t need, to impress people they don’t like.
Due to their low degree of self-esteem, they have a tendency to magnify anything ‘negative’ that happens, at the same time minimizing or discounting anything ‘positive’ that happens.

3. Seeking the approval of others
A person with high self-esteem can afford to project a modest image.
“Never feel that you have to explain who you are, or defend yourself, or act in ways that please other people if you must dishonour yourself to do so.
Just be who you are. You lack nothing.” Ebun Adelona.
the most important person to impress is YOURSELF!

4. playing psychological games with others
Some of the common psychological games such people play are:
“See, I told you”
“Mine is better than yours”
“Look, you can’t do without me”
“You are too young to do this on your own”
“See how intelligent I am”

5. avoiding close relationships
“Your ability to love others is in direct proportion to your ability to love yourself” Roger Dawson.

Dr Vernon Colemena of London argues that cuddles and kisses are just as important as medicines when it comes to keeping healthy. p40
In America, insurance companies conducted studies which showed that if a woman kisses her husband goodbye every morning, he is much less likely to have a car accident on the way to work, and his life expectancy improves on an average of 5 years, thanks to her morning kisses.

How to enhance self-esteem?
If a person attaches high value to education, acquiring education will make him feel ‘worthy’ and enhances his self-esteem.
If a person consider money to be valuable, if he becomes rich, he will consider himself to be valuable.

Amost all our unhappiness is the result of comparing ourselves to others.

My opinion of myself counts more than others’ opinion of me.

I do not blame luck, people or circumstances for the quality of my life.

I forgive myself for my failures and mistakes.

Self-esteem is the seat of self-motivation and self-motivation is the source of unlimited success.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can! p44

Chapter 4: the power of self-image

What is self-image? the picture about ourselves in our mind that shows us how we ‘see’ ourselves. p46

According to Dorothy C Briggs, our self-image influences the kind of friends we choose, how well we get along with others, the kind of person we marry and how productive our lives will be.

How to change a ‘negative’ self-image? p47
1. insert a new self-image in our mind
2. give positive auto-suggestions
3. act out the desired behaviour

1. insert a new self-image in our mind : if one wants to enahnce one’s chances of success, one should begin to imagine oneself as a winner.

2. give positive auto-suggestions : auto-suggestions involve REPEATing positive declarations to the self, with a sincere conviction in our mind about the self-image that we want to create.
“Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better.”
“I am hope. I am joy. I am free. I am happy. I am love.”

3. act out the desired behaviour
The quickest and most effective way to acquire a new personality trai is simple enough: assume and act as if you already have it.
You have to be POSITIVE and ASSERTIVE with yourself, before you can be with others.

Almost all your unhappiness is the result of DISCOUNTing yourself. p50

“The beginning of a habit is like invisible thread, every time we repeat the act, we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably in thought and action.” O.S. Marden.
Orison Swett Marden (1850 – 1924) was an American writer associated with the New Thought Movement. He also held a degree in medicine, and was a successful hotel owner.

If we have a negative self-image, it sets up ‘mental block’ in our life.
A positive self-image gives birth to certain INNER POWERS.

People read us through our body language.

Chapter 5: The power of self-talk

Happiness comes from WITHIN.

30% of our feelings of hurt are caused by imaginary insults,
30% by misunderstanding;
30% are unintentional.
It is only the balance of 10% of the wonds that others inflict intentionally.

If we don’t find any proof / evidence for our assumptions, it is better not to assume anything.

Your mind is a sacred enclosur into which nothing harmful can enter, except by your permission.

Chapter 6: The power of perception

What is perception? the IMAGE or PICTURE of things, people and surrondings that we form in our mind through our 5 senses.

Every child looks beautiful to his / her mother, however ugly that child may appear to others.

We must realize that our perception and the reality are 2 different things.

Challenges can be stepping stones / stumbling blocks. It is just a matter of how you view them.

Once we realize the power of perception, we start using the steneces
“To me it appears bright”,
“to me it looks beautiful”,
“to me it looks big”,
and so on.

We can disagree with others without being impolite, rude, crude, or crooked.

Chapter 7: The power of attitude

quite often, people themselves are the creators of their troubles by responding in the same / similar fashion to a given situation.

By changing our responses, we can change our future. p61

“I am the only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do” Helen Keller

A ‘helpless’ attitude is a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, and hence, DANGEROUS.

A person with a destructive attitude towards life attempts to damage / lose even what he has.

One can break a relationship with just a few harsh words, but it takes years to develop one.

Positive attitudes influences us to make the best use of situations and circumstances even if they are unfavourable.

… to live, to enjoy, care and serve, to the extent possible.

… we may get stones but it is up to us to build a bridge or a wall. If your life is ‘sour’ like a lemon, why not add some ‘sugar’ to it and make a refreshing lemonade! p65

Chapter 8 : the power of interpretation

His feelings of insult were a result of his INTERPRETATION of the situation and not because of the reality of the situation itself. p67

jumping to conclusions is a dangerous form of mental acrobatics. p68

…, through our interpretation, we see the situations the way we want to see them and not the way the situation actually IS.

“Our life is not entirely a life of responses to external stimuli;
but rather a life determined to respond and seeking stimuli that will justifiy the response.”
A. CLutton-Brock p70
Arthur Guy Clutton-Brock (5 April 1906 – 29 January 1995) was an English social worker, who became a Zimbabwean nationalist and co-founder of Cold Comfort Farm.

Chapter 9: the power of definitions
unless we learn to NOTICE and UNDERSTAND our own definitions as well as our spouse’s, our relationships will continue to produce emotional strain.

“A friend is a friend, irrespective of whether he helps me or not. If he does not help me, how does it mean that he is not really a friend? After all, he has every right to say a no to me.” p74

life is also an individual’s definition. p75

a clever person is 1 who can win others’ hearts.
a smart person is 1 who can break ther rules. Blueroselady thinks this definition is not good.
a smart person is 1 who lives within the boundaries of rules.

the way we define things is goign to determine the way we feel about them. p76

Success can be defined in many ways, such as:
1. I am successful when others start feeling jealous of what I achieve.
2. Success is when I attain my goals, or else I am a failure.
3. Success is when I have attempted to succeed, irrespective of whether I avhieve my goals or not.
4. Success is when I learn something even from my failures.
5. Success is when I fail to achieve my gaols and yet continue to live life with the same zest and zeal.
6. Success is when I leave this world with satisfaction that I have lived my life, irrespective of my failure to achieve any prestigious post in the society.
Blueroselady thinks that definition 6 is the best!

…, let your definitions be such that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. p78

Although there is nothing you can do to change your past, you can change the way you look at it.

Chapter 10: the power of positive thinking

positive thinking = optimism

No problem remains forever.
Every problem has a lifespan.
Like all other problems, this too shall pass.

After all, miracles do happen.
There are many cases when people got cured even without any medicine.

A pessimist complains because God put thorns on roses,
while an optimist praises God for putting roses among thorns.

…, an optimist CONCENTRATES on what has been left with him so that he can improve upon it further.

Every time Thomas Alva Edison failed, he would say, “Now I know 1 more way in which an electric bulb cannot be made”.

all that happens is for the good.
incidents and events which we may perceive as ‘bad’ today, may eventually turn out to be a blessing tomorrow.

“Specialists in psychosomatic medicine now estimate that 3/4 of our physical ailments origniate in our mind rather than in our bodies” Constance Foster. p83

When we criticize somebody, negative thoughts run through our system.

When a person is angry, adrenaline and noradrenaline chemicals are secreted into the blood.

positive thoughts result in the release of nitric ocixde in the blood.

OPTIMISM or HOPE keeps people alive.

If you want to be the picture of good health, you better have a happy frame of mind.

…, it was observed that patients who listen to HAPPY songs, recover much faster as compared to patients who listen to ‘sad’ songs.

…, he who laughs — last!

Many fail to seek what is good in people and devote more time to pointing out “what’s wrong with the world”, and less to “what’s right with the world”.

The weather appears romantic to us when we wear sunglasses, in spite of there being the glaring hot sun.

Hoping for the best, but being prepared for the worst is the best policy one can follow in life. p85

Chapter 11: the power of expectations

What we expect, tends to happen.

Cassius Clay, who became famous as Muhammad Ali, had these words “I am the greatest” on his blazer when he was just a child.

When we deeply hope to be successful, it is impossible to experience the fear of failure.

Blueroselady: to concentrate on what could happen based on our past successes.

a negative prediction by an astrologer can be harmful since it generates negative expectations and anxiety in the believer’s mind.
Blueroselady: believes only positive prediction. With God’s grace and Blueroselady’s positive thoughts, bad events will become good events.

Chapter 12: the power of intentions

a person who is after money would feel that everyone is after money.
if a person is honest, he would feel that people are, by and large honest.
we see our own REFLECTION in the world.
Blueroselady is unique, what does not work for Blueroselady may works for others.
e.g. Blueroselady is immune to marketing campaign.

if a person is good-hearted, he would feel that the whole world is good hearted, and would therefore have tremendous peace of mind. p93

Chapter 13: the power of will-power

Colonel Sander, at the age of 65, had knocked on more than a thousand doors to bag his first order.
It does not matter if you get knocked down.
It is whether you get up thereafter that matters.

You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit.
Vince Lombardi (an American football coach)

successful people are ordinary people with EXTRAORDINARY determination.

Will-power is when you act again and again and again and again.

Chapter 14: the power of freedom

It is WE OURSELVES who make our lives a paradise or otherwise.
Belief in God helpms most if we believe in ourselves.

You may be astonished to know that people generally fear FREEDOM.
People fear freedom because freedom means complete responsibility of self and life.
a story of a prisoner written by Charles Dickens.

Those who believe in pre-ordained destiny do not push their capabilities hard enough in life and thus give up completely, resigning as they do to ‘luck’ or ‘fate’.

none of us is responsible for all the things that happen tous, but we are responsible for THE WAY WE ACT when they happen.

The number of opportunities a person has in life depends not on how lucky he is, but HOW WELL he HAS TRAINED his mind to recognize them.
Every person gets enough opportunities to make a future of his own, but usually refuses to recognize them.
A wise man SEES more opportunities than what he actually gets.

Millions have seen apples falling from trees, but it was Newton who recognized and encashed the opportunity to formulate the law of ‘gravitational pull’
Blueroselady thinks that this is a good example.

GREAT opportunities come to those who make the MOST of SMALL ones.

“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the opportunities they want, and, if they don’t find them, they make them.” — George Bernard Shaw.
an Irish playwright and a co-founder of the London School of Economics.
Nearly all his writings address prevailing social problems, but have a vein of comedy which makes their stark themes more palatable.

It is always a GOOD TIME for GOOD and always a bad time for bad deeds.

When PREPARATION meets the OPPORTUNITY, it is a good time. p108

Each 1 of us writes his or her own horoscope everday — and things normallly go as per that horoscope.

Belief in the self may bring occasional failures, but belief in ‘fate’ will make us fail most of the times. p110

You are the sole architect of your destiny.

“A person is educated when he has trained himself to use his freedom well” — Ven James Alberione
an Italian priest and publisher, the founder of the Society of St. Paul and the Daughters of St. Paul

God helps those who help themselves.

Chapter 15: the power of self-responsibility

Blueroselady: self-responsibility = take initiative
Blueroselady is a very responsible lady

“You are never really a failure until you start blaming someone else for what went wrong.” Roger Dawson
the author of “Secrets of Power Negotiating” and founder of the Power Negotiating Institute.

What can a wife whose husband is busy do?
1. develop some hobby to spend her time
2. start a small business to keep herself busy
3. spend time with other female friends

Do not blame our parents, elders, family members, society, government, or someone else, for the poor condition of our lives.

Let us stop from making such statements:
“it is you who made me angry”
“he is responsible for my unhapiness”
“the company’s management is responsible for psoiling my career”
“I am like this because society is like this”
“he forced me into this bad habit”

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself” — Leo Tolstoy
a Russian writer who primarily wrote novels and short stories, major work: novels War and Peace and Anna Karenina

“During my childhood I have seen my father beating his family members.
I cannot forget those horrible scenes.
I have often seem him quarrelling and abusing others.
I have witnessed his bad habits of smoking and drinking spoiling his helath.
So, I decided not to be like him.
I chose not to indulge in the destructive habits of drinking and smoking.
So I am not like him.”

It is NEVER TOO LATE to change ourselves for betterment.

The person who really wants to do something FINDs A WAY; others find an excuse.

if we do not take due responsibility for our life, no one else will.
No 1 has the time or patience to give us any priority.
Othes, can, at best, help us but we ought to take the initiative for obtaining that help.

Many people misinterpret the meaning of owning responsibility for their life by blaming the self, feeling guilty or finding fault with themselves.

Chapter 16: the power of understanding

the most common cause of all our troubles and misery is tht in OUR REACTION to situations and people,
our RESPONSES are strongly influeced by the conditioning of our mind during the early years of our life.

IGNORANCE: gives rise to ~90% of the troubles there are in this world
The poor boy who became a great scholar, a history professor and 1 of the most famous writers of Italy: Ludovico Antonio Muratori

“What a man does not understand, he does not have” — Goethe

we, many a time, keep saying things we don’t mean, and we do not say things that we actually mean, and yet expect to be understood correctly by others. p125

When someone faces a problem, we, instead of trying to understand his / her feelings, straight away start advising him / her.
So often we use the words “you should have” or “you should not have”.
When the other person is trying to express his or her feelings, we hear but fail to listen.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them” — Mother Teresa

What is empathy?
the ability to put ourselves in others’ shoes and to feel / see the situation, as the other person feels / sees it.
while Mahatma Gandhi was standing in the doorway of a moving railway carriage, 1 of his sandals slipped and fell off.
He promptly pushed off the other sandal too.
The poor man who finds the sandals on the tracks will now have a pair he can use.

The next time your spouse or parent or child gets upset, say something like this:
“I don’t blame you for feeling as you do.
If I were you, I’d feel exactly the same way.
What would you like me to do?”

when you think of how hard it is to change yourself, you begin to understand what little chance you have of changing others.

story by Brian Cavanaugh
seer 1: Sir, you will live to see all your sons dead.
The king became furious and ordered his guards to execute the seer.
seer 2: Sir, I see that you have been blessed with a long life. You will live so long that you will outlive all your family!
moral of the story: both prophets knew the truth, but 1 had tact, the other did not.

when we do something for others, we may attach too much value to what we do and when the other person does something for us, we may give it very little importance.

There is a direct relationship between the THOUGHTS we think and the ACTS we perform.

Chapter 17: the power of pursose

“The world hate change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress” — Charles Kettering
an American inventor, engineer, businessman, and the holder of 186 patents.[
He was a founder of Delco, and was head of research for General Motors for 27 years from 1920 to 1947.

When we don’t plan a direction in life, we make a choice — that of no choice.

“The purpose of life is A LIFE OF PURPOSE” — Robert Byrne

… making the best use of oneself, bringing out of oneself the best of which 1 is capable. p134

Do not be, simply, good. Be good for something, someone!

No 2 persons or things are the same.
Each 1 of us is born with natural talent and potential.
You are UNIQUE on this earth.

Never copy others, beacuase those who copy others do not become any better than their models.

Every person has something no other person has.
Develop that 1 thing and make it OUTSTANDING.
You have within you an enormous range of hidden talent.

If you have a PURPOSE and act with full inner-power, nothing is going to be impossible to achieve.

“Everyone has a purpose of life — a unique gift or some special talent to give to others.
And, when we blend this uqniue talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate of all goals.” — Deepak Chopra.
an Indian medical doctor, public speaker, and writer on subjects such as spirituality, Ayurveda and mind-body medicine

Great people are so, because they have been true to themselves.
They have lived up to their true potential.

Each 1 of us has not only special abilities, but MANY general abilities too.

Life is not made up of a single dimension alone. Shakespeare was a lover, a poet and a playwright.

“There are 2 kinds of success.
One is the very rare kind that comes to the man who has the pwoer to do what no 1 else has the power to do. That is genius.
But the average man who wins is not a genius. He is a man who has merely the ordinary qualities that he shares with his fellows, but has developed those ordinary qualities to a MORE THAN ORDINARY DEGREE” — Theodore Roosevelt.
the 26th President of the United States.

Chapter 18: NOW – is the right time!

There are no ideal circumstances and, there never will be.
the only thing that comes to him who waits and waits, is OLD AGE. p139

Masters are not ruled by circumstances,
situations, other people or their fate.
Masters are born
to Rule over their life!

Master enjoys all the virtues of good life, like prosperity, progress and respect. p141

The person who owns complete responsibility for one’s life becomes the Master of his or her life.

a long life is a gift from God, while a full and fruitful life is our own doing.

NO PERSON, EVENT OR SITUATION can make you unhappy, angry, afraid, and sad unless and until you are willing to make yourself so. p142

Written by blueroselady

November 16, 2011 at 1:08 am

Posted in book

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4 Responses

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  1. Thank you thank you thank you for taking the time. I appreciate all of you hard work and efforts. this came at the right time.

    Red Moon

    November 16, 2011 at 10:20 am

  2. […] people will criticize us. To protect ourselves against these peace robbers, we can # enhance our inner strength by reminding / focusing ourselves on our strength # have a thick […]

  3. […] with women with low self-esteem. Some people simply do not have the opportunity to grow their inner strength, to detach from the influence of media that worships celebrities and the superficial opinions of […]

  4. […] How to achieve inner strength? How do you perceive money and […]

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