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Archive for the ‘family’ Category

How to minimize jealousy in children?

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Pay each child enough attention – they may want different types of attention such as words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service, or quality time.

Spend time one-on-one with each child. Create special “Dad-and-Kid” or “Mom-and-Kid” time, and each kid gets equal amounts of time weekly.

Praise each child to his and her face – Let him know what you like about him.

Don’t compare your children.

Never tell anyone (including your spouse, Mum) which child you love more, even though one child is probably dearer to you than the other(s). The notion that each parent loves all his/her children equally is just that – a notion.

Don’t give in to your child’s tantrum, but include him as a team.

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Written by blueroselady

July 20, 2015 at 3:15 am

Posted in family

Inspirations from Shakira

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While I was attempting to find out which places are ideal for me to live (via WG via facebook), I recall how much I love Shakira. She makes a woman like me go mad.

Lessons from Shakira:
# be compassionate. To instill gratitude in Shakira for her upbringing, her father, a writer of stories, took her to a local park to see orphans who lived there. The images stayed with her and she said to herself “one day I’m going to help these kids when I become a famous artist.”
# be a slash person / multipotentialite (e.g Shakira is a poet, a songwriter, a singer, a dancer)
# embrace multi-disciplines (adopted many genres, including folk, mainstream pop and rock)
# be curious to learn (好学). Shakira frequently studies the history and languages of the countries she visits.

20150502

Written by blueroselady

May 2, 2015 at 6:19 am

Posted in family

Gratitude exercise: Write & remember affirmations of gratitude

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I am grateful that I am alive.
I appreciate that I have an attitude of gratitude.
I am thankful that I see the blessing on the flip side of the challenging issues.
I appreciate that I love myself through the hard times.

I am grateful that my health is better than yesterday.
I am grateful that my health is better than last week.
I am grateful that my health is better than last month.
I am grateful that my health is better than last year.

I appreciate opportunities to learn different, useful things.
I appreciate that my ability to understand things effortlessly is improving everyday.
I appreciate opportunities to enjoy greenery, sunrise, sunset.

I am thankful for my parents, my husband, my baby.
I am thankful for my siblings.
I am thankful for my friends and acquaintances.
I am thankful for my job and my source of livelihood.

Written by blueroselady

May 20, 2014 at 12:38 pm

Posted in family, lifestyle

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Gratitude exercise: Food that makes you happy

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Since food is one of our essential needs, I ask myself why not enjoy them more and let them make me happy.

On the last Thursday of August 2013, l squeeze a South African orange that tasted so sweet. A previous orange from the same batch tasted sour. In an analogy, l hope that sour relationships in our life turn sweet, when we are patient. Being patient is an art.

On the 2nd Monday of September 2013, I had a lunch with Thai friends. A guy who is returning to his home country praised my hard work, he often saw me also working in the weekends. During the lunch, I also tried stir fried fresh bamboo shoot, they taste crunchy, I like it!

In October 2013, I meet up with a mentor Keith Ferrazi, an Italian American. His surname sounds like Ferrari, the fast driving luxurious car to me. Keith’s main message of never eat alone is like a wake-up call for me. Up until 2011, I signed myself up for a challenging project with a deadline of 2011. I was struggling and stressing, I put extra efforts, energy, sweat, time, and even tears into my project. Since my time was limited, I often chose to eat during off-peak hours (I saved time on queuing and finding a seat), but that also means that I could not find someone to eat with (at weird hours). Gradually, I have learned to be comfortable with eating alone and be happy with myself. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because we have to be independent. However, I sacrificed opportunities to develop my inter-dependent skills by eating alone. Now, it is time to form new relationships, to revitalize old relationships, and to sustain harmonious ongoing relationships.

Free food served in association with conferences / talks. Actually, there is no free lunch, someone else is paying for our food, so I can only be grateful. It often makes me think how to increase the production of healthy food to sufficiently and sustainably feed the fast-growing world population.

Simple, relatively bland homemade / home-cooked food after a day of eating strongly-flavored, mass-produced food, to detox and re-balance our body. I am not totally anti-junk food. It is ok to have the indulgence of e.g. desserts, ice cream, curry, etc, but not for every meal!

Some nights, I cook soup overnight using the slow cooker. Having a (sometimes 2!) bowl(s) of hot soup in the morning really makes me more grateful than ever, especially to Mom & Dad who bought the ingredients for us. Thank you for loving us!

In December 2013, I packed snack to work. My snack includes different kinds of fruit (including Thailand longan, Korean Jeju Mandarin, nectarines from Australia), bread, and KitKat Hazelnut! Sometimes, I got free snacks. Life is awesome.

Written by blueroselady

February 17, 2014 at 9:08 am

How to remove petrol / gasoline from clothes?

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It was the second Friday night in November (the year our first baby was born).

We got a visitor from England and went for a sumptuous dinner.
In a rush to bring our visitor to the airport,
I just quickly placed my backpack at the trunk of taxi.
Actually, I saw a white container but did not think much of what it is.
Alas, my bag was stained with the heavy smell of petrol!

Fortunately, I have spare bag to bring for a wedding the next noon.

Here are my attempts to remove the petrol smell (though I could not find where the stain is):
Baking soda
Keep on washing with detergent for multiple times, drying with wind and sun, re-washing.

Lessons:
# Next time check if the trunk is clean.
# It is safer to just bring your bag with you instead of putting at the trunk. A fellow traveler of mine put his wallet in his bag in the trunk. I would not advise doing so, what if the taxi driver just drives away.

Written by blueroselady

December 4, 2013 at 5:07 am

Posted in family

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Tips on how to make a small talk from Keith Ferrazi

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I came to know Keith through Michael, and my encounter with Keith, an Italian American somehow reminded me on an experience when an Italian teacher of mine unexpectedly saw me in a professional conference in US, was so happy and rushed to kiss my cheek. Well, as an Asian, I was not used to such a very warm of greeting, but I do appreciate his warmth and caring attitude.

My Italian teacher is a famous professor in his field of expertise, and he remembers me because I am one of his weaker students. I asked him more questions, so like it or not, he ended up remembering me (at least my face). But I guess I have a good attribute too though I am not among his smartest students, it is never give up.

I am grateful to Keith for sharing a lot of useful advice. Herein, I share tips that I learned from Keith Ferrazi on how to make a small talk. They are particularly useful to me because I want to expand my network of friends and acquaintance for my new endeavor next year.

"Friendship si created out of the quality spent between people, not the quantity."

How to make small talks?
1. First, give a person a hearty smile. It says "I’m approachable"
2. Start a conversation, keep it going, create a bond. Be proactive (as Stephen Covey advices).
3. Relax. Unfold your arms.
4. Be yourself. Your uniqueness is your power.
5. Maintain a good balance of eye contact. Unblinking stare 100% of time = leering (scary!). Eye contact less than 70% of time = disinterested and rude.
6. Nod your head and lean in (without invading duifang space).
7. Be sincere, without pride nor insecurity. Do not be an eye darter.
8. Share your passion (e.g. food, cooking, writing, reading stories for children), but do not preach it.
9. Vulnerability is one of the most under-appreciated assets in business today.
10. Adjust your Johari window.
11. Learn to listen.
12. If all else fails, "You’re wonderful. Tell me more."

See also
email "Keith Ferrazi"

Written by blueroselady

October 28, 2013 at 6:49 am

Gratitude exercise: Write & remember affirmations of gratitude

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I am grateful that I am alive.
I appreciate that I have an attitude of gratitude.

I am thankful that I see the blessing on the flip side of the challenging issues.

I appreciate that I love myself through the hard times.

I am grateful that my health is better than yesterday.
I am grateful that my health is better than last week.

I am grateful that my health is better than last month.

I am grateful that my health is better than last year.

I appreciate opportunities to learn different, useful things.
I appreciate opportunities to enjoy greenery, sunrise, sunset.

I am thankful for my parents, my husband, my baby.
I am thankful for my siblings.
I am thankful for my friends and acquaintances.
I am thankful for my job and my source of livelihood.

Written by blueroselady

October 22, 2013 at 10:20 am

Posted in family