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Tips on how to make a small talk from Keith Ferrazi

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I came to know Keith through Michael, and my encounter with Keith, an Italian American somehow reminded me on an experience when an Italian teacher of mine unexpectedly saw me in a professional conference in US, was so happy and rushed to kiss my cheek. Well, as an Asian, I was not used to such a very warm of greeting, but I do appreciate his warmth and caring attitude.

My Italian teacher is a famous professor in his field of expertise, and he remembers me because I am one of his weaker students. I asked him more questions, so like it or not, he ended up remembering me (at least my face). But I guess I have a good attribute too though I am not among his smartest students, it is never give up.

I am grateful to Keith for sharing a lot of useful advice. Herein, I share tips that I learned from Keith Ferrazi on how to make a small talk. They are particularly useful to me because I want to expand my network of friends and acquaintance for my new endeavor next year.

"Friendship si created out of the quality spent between people, not the quantity."

How to make small talks?
1. First, give a person a hearty smile. It says "I’m approachable"
2. Start a conversation, keep it going, create a bond. Be proactive (as Stephen Covey advices).
3. Relax. Unfold your arms.
4. Be yourself. Your uniqueness is your power.
5. Maintain a good balance of eye contact. Unblinking stare 100% of time = leering (scary!). Eye contact less than 70% of time = disinterested and rude.
6. Nod your head and lean in (without invading duifang space).
7. Be sincere, without pride nor insecurity. Do not be an eye darter.
8. Share your passion (e.g. food, cooking, writing, reading stories for children), but do not preach it.
9. Vulnerability is one of the most under-appreciated assets in business today.
10. Adjust your Johari window.
11. Learn to listen.
12. If all else fails, "You’re wonderful. Tell me more."

See also
email "Keith Ferrazi"

Written by blueroselady

October 28, 2013 at 6:49 am

Happiness exercise: write a short introduction about yourself

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In a series of happiness exercises, I brainstorm novel and creative ideas of doings that can boost up our happiness. Today exercise is simple: write a short introduction about yourself. You can memorize it to remind yourself when you experience negative emotions, to make new friends and build new relationships, or simply to make an elevator pitch.

Here is a brief introduction about myself.

I am an ordinary woman with a BIG dream to give extraordinary service to others.

My love include life, family, stories and writing. I dream of writing a book that is enlisted in The New York Times Non-Fiction Best Sellers.

Everyday, I give my best to live and learn so that I can share useful tips about education and entrepreneurship / business,
that are thoughtful, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.

I am also interested in people, travel, food (especially Asian food and Italian desserts), visual arts, movies and creative ideas.

Counting my blessings, I am grateful for being a mother, lifelong student, storyteller, researcher and marketer; and having good health and more wealth than the yesterday-me.

Thank you very much for being interested in me!

Please keep in touch and feel free to comment.

Written by blueroselady

October 11, 2013 at 6:23 am

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Happiness exercise: Describe yourself in positive ways

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Happiness means differently to different people.
To some people,
happiness means a combination of the followings:# Finding love & happily married
# Having children, grandchildren, great grandchildren
# Good health
# Be financially well-off
# Enjoying a successful career
# Ability to maintain work-life harmony
# Happy relationships with extended family (ie. parents, grandparents, siblings, nephews, etc)
# Fulfilling friendships
# Making a difference to the world. You laugh … yes, many people, including me, set their dreams so high (and hence raising the standards of attaining their happiness).

To sum up, happiness is fundamentally related to health, wealth, and children.

Since happiness is related to so wide and diverse areas of our lives, how can we work on each area of importance to us? How to prioritize?
I believe in exercises / practice. It takes 10,000 hours of practice to give birth to a real talent.
Sincerely, I want you to master the art and science of happiness,
so that you can choose to be happy
even in the face of difficult circumstances and being overwhelmed by negative emotions.

In my designed series of happiness exercises, I would share numerous effective and tested exercise to enjoy happiness in your life.

Today exercise is to describe yourself in positive ways. Write to yourself. List your favorite attributes, your achievements, your roles, your love, and anything elseo about you.

Herein, I do the exercise on myself (in the autumn of 2013)

I am …
# a mother
# a daughter
# a wife
# a student of Coursera, edX
# a researcher
# a storyteller
# an author
# an ex-artist

I love …
# people who love me & whom I love.
You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.” Before Sunset (2004)
# food (especially healthy affordable food and desserts)
# simplicity
# diversity
# reading (and writing) and hence books
# gardens & parks in spring & summer, in early mornings & late afternoons
# philosophy of life
# giving smiles, talks in front of groups
# learning diverse things. I believe in the “See one, Do one, Teach one” model.
# dreams
# personal development, making a syllabus for life / bucket list / life planning
# entrepreneurship + unconventional work
# (and honestly sometimes fear) change / dynamics.
The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.” Isaac Asimov

I used to love …
# travel
# photography
# fireworks
# movies
But now they are not on top of my priorities.

People who have inspired me (non-exhaustively) include:
# Anthony Robbins
# Cayden Chang
# Chris Guillebeau
# Danah Zohar
# Dale Carnegie
# Dong Mingzhu 董明珠
# Goldie Hawn
# Jean Maalouf
# Jessie Louise Yancey-Siegel, affectionately known as Weezie
# Josh Kaufmann
# Joseph Murphy
# Leo Babauta
# Leong Kaiwen
# Louise Hay
# Luciano Passuello
# Michael Ellsberg
# Napoleon Hill
# Robert Cialdini
# Tahir
# Thich Nhat Hanh
# Tim Ferriss
These people are my brothers / sisters, my mentors, my dearest friends.

Things that I want to have / have more / give more to others:
@~@ Happiness
@~@ Health
@~@ Optimism & Hope
@~@ Gratitude
@~@ Kindness e.g. smile
@~@ Empathy e.g. a listening ear
@~@ Wealth
@~@ Wisdom
@~@ Courage e.g. to make new friends

Things that I want to remove / reduce :
@~@ Fear
@~@ Sadness
@~@ Anger
@~@ Envy / Jealousy
@~@ Clutters
@~@ Disappointment

Written by blueroselady

October 2, 2013 at 11:20 am

Breastfeeding is the new trend but not entirely free

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When I was visiting Copenhagen,
the capital of Denmark,
I was inspired by how a mother breastfed her baby publicly.

If I were to do it in Singapore,
people will probably stare at me.

Therefore,
I only go to shopping center with nursing room(s).
I endure swelling of breast if I have to go some places without nursing room(s).
Yes, lactating mothers can use a cloth cover,
but I dislike the potential reduced oxygen for my baby.

According to http://singaporemotherhood.com/articles/2013/02/making-sense-of-formula-milk/
breastfeeding has increased from 54% – 75% in the last 5 years.

The article mentions that breast milk is FREE.
In my humble opinion,
breast milk is not entirely free.
To provide babies with rich nutrients and antibodies
(in order to protect babies from illnesses like diarrhoea,
lower respiratory infections,
ear infections),
lactating mothers have to eat well.

Lactating mothers may be depleted of calcium if they do not have sufficient intake of calcium from e.g. milk.
To be safe, we can take calcium supplement.

Lactating mothers must also eat a balanced diet.

Diverse food (e.g. Chinese, Indian, Malay, Italian, French, Japanese, Korean food) so babies will grow up liking the worldwide food.

What if breast milk is not enough?
Do not feel bad about supplementing breast milk with formula.

If you find my writings are helpful to you, please donate to me.

Written by blueroselady

March 18, 2013 at 1:22 pm

My confinement notes

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Experts:
Jin Jinhua: a consultant acupuncturist at Raffles Chinese Medicine.
Dr Lee Le Ye: a neonatologist at NUH.
Motherhood September 2006 magazine.

Childbirth results in deficiency of QI and BLOOD in the mother’s body.
Solutions:
1. consume tonics and nutritious food. Note: Caesarean mother should refrain from too much nutritious food and tonics in the 1st week because the open wounds from surgery are still healing and infection could set it if body is too "heaty". Tips by Jin.
2. consume iron supplements. Tips by Lee.

Adapt to mother’s "body type".
A mother who is naturally "heatier": do not eat too much nutritious food and tonics. Do not wear too much / too warm. If body is too heated up, will increase risk of infection of open wounds.
A mother who is naturally "cool" should consume more nutritious food and tonics. Dress more warmly.

FOOD
Drink fish papaya soup to boost breastmilk supply.
Avoid too salty food to prevent water retention.
Avoid "cold" food. Why? can weaken stomach / digestive system, result in coagulation of lochia.
e.g. of "cold" food : cold drinks, cucumber, cabbage, pineapple, citrus fruit
Avoid food that cause wind, e.g. sweet potatoes, jackfruit, pumpkin, cucumber, nuts, legumes. Tips by Motherhood.
Avoid food that make you sweat because sweating expands the pores and expanded pores will allow wind to enter the new mother’s body. Tips by Motherhood.
If sweating, must change clothes. Tips by Mum S.

DO NOT OVEREAT.
A breastfeeding mother needs only ~600-800 calories more / day mothers who bottle-feed their babies. Tips by Motherhood.

DRINK
drink lots of nutritious fluids, e.g. red date tea.
can also drink chicken essence, other healthy soups.
water is allowed (Jin).
lochia = the normal uterine discharge of blood, tissue, mucus from vagina after childbirth.

WEAR SLIPPERS. Do not let soles of feet to touch the floor.

Must maintain a normal temperature to prevent heatstroke.
Can use air-con or fan.
Room must have fresh air and allow mother to cool down.

BATHE?
In tropical climate, Keep your body clean by wiping with warm / herbal water.

WASH HAIR?
In tropical climate, If you need to wash hair, dry it immediately to avoid catching a cold.

Note: the rule of not to wash hair and bathe during the entire confinement period probably originated in China during olden times when water facilities were scarce and contain bacteria.

Causes of rheumatism (Motherhood): wear & tear resulting in the inflammation / degeneration of muscles / bones.
Causes of headaches (Motherhood): high blood pressure, stress, insufficient rest.

How to prevent backache (Motherhood)?
1. sleep on a firm mattress.
2. exercise regularly.
3. do not slouch when waking / sitting on the couch.
4. do not allow ourselves to become overweight.

If reading helps us to RELAX, try reading aloud to our baby.
Nothing soothes a baby more than feeling the closeness of his mother & hearing her voice. Tips by Motherhood.

AVOID PHYSICAL TASKs.
because new mother’s joints are weak and loose.
You need not lie in bed all the time.
Do not be sedentary to prevent blood clots in the legs.
Steer clear of water.
Do not mop the floor.
Do not do laundry.
Get more rest.
Stay at home.

BIND YOUR BELLY
Binding your belly only prevents the muscles from sagging.
To trim your tummy, exercise and eat sensibly.

Related:
Confinement meal

Written by blueroselady

January 12, 2013 at 5:41 am

Pregnancy challenges me

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This post was post-dated.
I wrote below almost 4 weeks since conception / fertilization.
Pregnancy makes me super tired. All I want is to rest and to eat. After I eat, I feel like vomitting (fortunately none come out).
I lie on sofa more often than ever.
I do not feel like going to work, but I have to earn a living (and make some progresses before my maternity leaves).
Fatigue is possibly due to dramatic rise of progesterone.
Beware that fatigue can also be a symptom of iron-deficiency anemia.

I also had dreams every night while sleeping.
Some dreams are scary.
Now, between midnight and 2 am I will wake up to go washroom.
I will always wake up at night at least once, even if I drink very little before sleeping.

Pregnancy makes my olfactory sense and taste buds super sensitive.
Now plain water tastes weird.
I dislikes plain water.
Everything I eat left some smells lingering in my mouth.
The smell of the refrigerator makes me want to vomit.

Pregnancy drives overwhelming production of phlegm.
Help!

Pregnancy lowers my immune system.
I suffered from viral-associated fever until 38.8 C. Worried!
I suffered from infection.
But, I will be strong for the sake of our baby.
I also suffered from diarrhea.
5x in a day since early 5 am.
Again, I will be strong and persevered for the sake of our baby.

I decided not to go for voluntary activity in a hospital.
I will wait until my immune system increases.

I am invited twice overseas.
These selections are likely to be helpful for my career, yet for the sake of our baby, I decide to give them a miss.
My partner is worried about radiation of taking flight.
After all, our baby was conceived overseas, so our baby was once exposed when I returned, but we can strive to minimize air travel.
I am also worried about luggage, pregnant women are not supposed to carry heavy stuff.
Bye traveling! Bye being a globetrotting young lady! Welcome to the world of motherhood.

All these I am willing to endure for the safety and health of our baby.
Our baby is healthy, happy and I will safely deliver him to this world.
Our baby is strong in mind, body, and soul.
We pray to St Jude for protecting our baby.
We pray Novena.

Written by blueroselady

September 23, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Entrepreneur Dong Mingzhu of Gree Electric Appliances

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Sister Dong Mingzhu (董明珠)

In a hot humid day, we will be grateful for air-conditioning.

When I think of air-conditioning, I will remember one of the toughest (难缠) businesswomen in China – Dong Mingzhu.

On motherhood:

I heart her because she was once a young widow,

with the responsibility to raise her son by herself.

Mingzhu once sent her 12-year-old son to the airport alone by bus because she was busy.

Is she too much as a mother?

Well, perhaps her action helped to nurture independence in her son.

On training:

Mingzhu dtudied statistics at a vocational school in Nanjing and toiled at a research institute for 15 years.

She was a technician in a chemistry laboratory in Nanjing.

Then, her husband’s early death changed everything.

对生活依然充满着憧憬 (vision) 和希望 (hope),想出去闯一闯 (try again!)。

On profession:

She WOW me because she has not taken a day off in more than 20 years.

NY Times: "Unlike many of the women who pepper China’s rich lists, Mingzhu did not inherit wealth and had no man beside her and no political connections"

She started as an air-conditioner saleswoman, traveling widely.

The Marketing Queen adopts WIN-WIN approach.

董明珠很简单 (simple),

简单得只要跟她合作的经销商,完全不用挖空心思去考虑双方的利益博弈,

因为她总是把你的利益和她的利益均衡考虑,

任何一方的利益受损失,她都会拒绝合作.

Her expertise:

企业战略 (corporate strategy)

营销策略 (marketing strategy)

销售 (sales)

Likes reading and shawls.

Mingzhu is a symbol of determination.

I want to read her autobiography "Regretless Pursuit" 行棋无悔

(published in 2006).

Her advice:

"You must be a thinker.

Be decisive, have good judgment, organizational ability.

Most importantly, you have to be able to take control."

Sources:

Forbes Asia March 2012

New York Times. Setting the Pace With Toughness.

Baidu

Written by blueroselady

April 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

About

with 2 comments

I am an ordinary woman with a BIG dream to give extraordinary service to others.

My love include life, family, stories and writing. I dream of writing a book that is enlisted in The New York Times Non-Fiction Best Sellers. Please support me through your generous donation using credit card / debit card / PayPal account.

Everyday, I give my best to live and learn so that I can share useful tips about education and entrepreneurship / business, that are thoughtful, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.

I am also interested in people, travel, food (especially Asian food and Italian desserts), visual arts, movies and creative ideas.

Counting my blessings, I am grateful for being a mother, lifelong student, storyteller, researcher and marketer; and having good health and more wealth than the yesterday-me.

Thank you very much for being interested in me!

Please keep in touch and feel free to comment.

Written by blueroselady

September 1, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Posted in