Are you / your loved one an INTJ? 39 thoughtful descriptions to strategically understand them

To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

A family friend Z who has been very kind to us and shares similar interest in stocks, appears to be an INTJ, I may be wrong, but I am highly interested to understand him, so that we can be a good, supportive friend of him.

Sometimes, I think that he can be an INFJ instead of INTJ because once he said the importance of making decisions by applying person-centered values.

Perhaps, a friend who kindly gave me a shelter in Boston is also an INTJ. Think of Gandalf and Vito Andolini Corleone of The Godfather by Mario Puzo.

@~@ perfectionist : INTJs have exceptionally high standards, and if they view a colleague or supervisor as incompetent or ineffective, respect will be lost instantly and permanently.

@~@ self-confidence that can be mistaken by others as arrogance

@~@ INTJs value personal initiative, determination, insight and dedication, and believe that everyone should complete their work to the highest possible standards
@~@ easily recognize patterns in events and establish thorough explanations
@~@ open-minded yet guarded
@~@ ambitious yet private
@~@ curious and deeply intrigued by all aspects of the human experience, but they do not squander their energy

@~@ pragmatic

@~@ analytical problem-solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas

@~@ possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability

@~@ INTJs use their creativity and imagination not so much for artistry, but for planning contingencies and courses of action for all possible scenarios.

@~@ spend a lot of time thinking; INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people’s thoughts or feelings.

@~@ the architect / supreme strategists – always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency
@~@ approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity, constantly outmaneuvering their peers in order to maintain control of a situation while maximizing their freedom to move about.

@~@ values solitude

@~@ natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead.
@~@ has a natural thirst for knowledge and enjoy sharing what they know; their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way.
@~@ simultaneously the most starry-eyed idealists and the bitterest of cynics
@~@ Rules, limitations and traditions are anathema to the INTJ personality type – everything should be open to questioning and reevaluation, and if they see a way, INTJs will often act unilaterally to enact their technically superior, sometimes insensitive, and almost always unorthodox methods and ideas.
@~@ useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality; Authority figures do not impress INTJs, nor do social conventions or tradition, and no matter how popular something is, if they have a better idea, INTJs will stand against anyone they have to in a bid to have it changed.
@~@ less comfortable with the unpredictable nature of other people and their emotions.
@~@ INTJs are the most independent of all the sixteen types and take more or less conscious pride in that independence.
@~@ selective about their relationships, preferring to associate with people who they find intellectually stimulating.
@~@ Among types least likely to suffer heart disease and cardiac problems
@~@ Least likely of all the types to believe in a higher spiritual power
@~@ One of two types with highest college GPA
@~@ Among types with highest income
@~@ Personal values include Achievement
@~@ Of all types, least likely to state that they value Home/family, Financial security, Relationships & friendships, and Community service
@~@ Over-represented among MBA students and female small business owners
@~@ Commonly found in scientific or technical fields, computer occupations, and legal professions
@~@ gain the most satisfaction from turning their ideas into reality.
@~@ INTJ will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions
@~@ In friendship, INTJs are looking for more of an intellectual soul mate than anything else, and those that aren’t prepared for that kind of relationship are simply boring. INTJs need to share ideas – a self-feeding circle of gossip about mutual friends is no kind of social life for them. INTJ especially like to spend time with other Intuitive Thinkers, and also usually enjoy the company of Intuitive Feelers. These personality types love to theorize and speculate about ideas, and so can usually relate well to the INTJ, who loves to analyze ideas.
@~@ INTJs will keep up with just a few good friends, eschewing larger circles of acquaintances in favor of depth and quality. Having more than just a few friends would compromise INTJs’ sense of independence and self-sufficiency – they gladly give up social validation to ensure this freedom.
@~@ The sarcasm and dark humor of INTJ are not for the faint of heart, nor for those who struggle to read between the lines, but they make for fantastic story-telling among those who can keep up. This more or less limits their pool of friends to fellow Analysts (NT) and Diplomat (NF) types.
@~@ INTJs also recognize that life is often the best teacher, and they will tend to be fairly liberal, allowing their children to have their own adventures and make their own decisions, further developing these critical thinking skills.
@~@ INTJs prefer more "lone wolf" positions as mechanical or software engineers, lawyers or freelance consultants, only accepting competent leadership that helps in these goals
@~@ Efficiency and results are king to INTJs

Strengths:
Are not threatened by confrontation or criticism
Are self-confident
Place relationships and commitments as a high priority
Are very intelligent with lots of potential
Know when it is right to end a relationship
Always try to improve relationships
Are great listeners

Weaknesses:
Are out of tune with others’ feelings, resulting in possible insensitivity
Often respond to conflict with logic and reason, while lacking emotional involvement
Have difficulty expressing feelings and emotions
Possess a strong belief in their personal (informed) opinions
Lack the ability to accept blame
Possess a constant quest for improvement that may be difficult on relationships
Tend to restrict part of themselves

Suitable careers for INTJ:
Business Administrator
Corporate Strategist
Computer Programmer
Computer Specialist
Dentist
Entrepreneur
Engineer
Judge
Lawyer/Attorney
Military Officer
Manager
Medical Doctor
Organization Founder
Psychologist
Researcher
Scientist
Systems Analyst
Teacher/Professor

20150922

How to minimize jealousy in children?

Pay each child enough attention – they may want different types of attention such as words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service, or quality time.

Spend time one-on-one with each child. Create special “Dad-and-Kid” or “Mom-and-Kid” time, and each kid gets equal amounts of time weekly.

Praise each child to his and her face – Let him know what you like about him.

Don’t compare your children.

Never tell anyone (including your spouse, Mum) which child you love more, even though one child is probably dearer to you than the other(s). The notion that each parent loves all his/her children equally is just that – a notion.

Don’t give in to your child’s tantrum, but include him as a team.

How to survive a sandstorm or a dust storm? 10 caring tips

1. Seek shelter, minimize outdoor activities.
2. Hydrate yourself.
3. Get to higher ground.
4. Wait out the storm. Don’t try to move through the storm; it’s much too dangerous.
5. Avoid driving if possible, exit highway, turn off the engine (or you will get all that fine debris in your air filter).
6. Cover you nose and mouth with a mask / a respirator / a dampened cloth around your nose and mouth to filter out dust and sand particles.
7. Apply a small amount of petroleum jelly to the inside of your nostrils to prevent drying of your mucous membranes.
8. If you don’t have goggles, shield your face with your arm as you move, then wrap a piece of cloth tightly around your head to protect your eyes and ears.
9. Wear sunglasses and gloves along with long-sleeved shirts/pants and a brimmed hat
10. Shield yourself from flying objects

References:
http://www.masala.com/5-survival-tips-during-the-sandstorm-in-dubai-192182.html
http://www.outsideonline.com/1958756/what-should-i-do-if-i-get-caught-sandstorm
http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Dust-Storm-or-Sandstorm

20150607

Are you / your loved one an ESFJ? ~26 simple descriptions to understand them

To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

A friend A, who has showered me with sisterhood’s love (that I have never ever imagined), is an ESFJ, I may be wrong, but I am highly interested to understand her, so that I can be a good, supportive friend of her. I am really grateful to her and wish that she will discover her happiness in romance and work.

@~@ ~ 12% people are ESFJ
@~@ quite popular / good with people, good at manipulating them (to achieve their own ends) while they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.
@~@ good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they are with at the moment.
@~@ need to feel appreciated and know they’ve helped someone. altruistic
@~@ dislike conflict and criticism
@~@ well-organized
@~@ strongly need to be liked
@~@ need to be in control
@~@ do not mind monotony, routine work
@~@ place a lot of importance on what is socially acceptable, and can be very cautious / critical of anything unconventional / outside the mainstream.
@~@ SF people base their moral compass on established traditions / laws, upholding authority and rules, rather than drawing their morality from philosophy /mysticism like NF people do.
@~@ have a strong moral code that is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.
@~@ enjoy hearing about their friends’ relationships and activities, remembering little details, ready to talk things out with warmth and sensitivity. can be kaypoh, indeed practical matters and gossip are their bread and butter.
@~@ ESFJ thrive on staying up to date with what their friends are doing
@~@ Use their SJ (sensing and Judging) characteristics to gather specific, detailed info about others, and turn this info into supportive judgments.
@~@ prefer plans / organized events to open-ended activities, than spontaneous activities.
@~@ good career: personal accountant (not corporate accountant), teacher, social work / medical care.
@~@ expect AUTHORITY to be respected and backed up by rules and standards
@~@ can be efficient, hard-working subordinate; but struggle with too much freedom and improvisation
@~@ often seek friends at work
@~@ almost always willing to lend a hand when / where it’s needed
@~@ excellent networkers (think of Bill Clinton), seem to "know the person" to bring a project together on time.
@~@ when ESFJ’s suggestions / help are turned down, they can take it personally.
@~@ vulnerable to stress
@~@ never challenge the authority of ESFJ as she can stress out, loses her temper, and just generally reacts badly.
@~@ ESFJ’s natural partner is ISFP or INFP. ESFJ prefers stable, harmonious relationships and like a partner who is able to be loving and committed, even when the ESFJ has strong emotional reactions. PS: I’ll be on hunt for such a desirable man for my friend.

What can we do to support a loved one who is an ESFJ?
@~@ must thank / appreciate her from time to time (whenever there is such an opportunity to do so)
@~@ never tell her you that are critical of her beliefs / habits / traditions (if any). Iit can hurt her greatly / cause her to be very defensive). ESFJ dislikes criticism.
@~@ if you must turn down her suggestions / help, do it very very diplomatically.
@~@ do not challenge her authority.
@~@ as a friend, I must respect / be supportive of her dreams or opinions
@~@ talk more about practical matters (e.g. cooking, how to solve work problems efficiently), she likes it.
@~@ do not talk too much about your private selves that you are not comfortable that others would know, but reveal some that you do not mind others to know… she enjoys knowing specific details about you. We are learning to love / understand kaypoh people.

20150524

How to reduce abdominal obesity? 18 healthy tips

1. Keep well-hydrate ∴ carry water everywhere you
2. Never skip breakfast
3. Color your plate
4. Eat well and don’t starve yourself (this is counter-productive)
5. Eat more fat burning foods, such as brown rice, whole grains, vegetables, natural fruits, skim milk, lean poultry or meat, seafood, and egg whites.
6. Drink a glass of water before you eat, this is because people tend to eat more when they are thirsty
7. Eat 5 small meals a day
8. Eat slowly because it takes a few minutes for your tummy to realize it’s full
9. No fast food!
10. No soda!
11. A once-in-a-while small treat is ok
12. Do exercises in moderation: swimming, brisk walking
13. Dance
14. Have a specific goal in mind for losing abdominal fat, write it down and repeat it: it’s our new mantra.
15. Ignore the hype when it comes to commercial products e.g. a special diet plan, a pill, or a piece of workout equipment.
16. Maintain a good posture. Suck your tummy in, put your shoulder back, keep your head up, and, with this good posture, you’ll look (and even feel) much fitter.
17. While shopping, read the labels / food ingredients
18. minimize stress

Meat substitutes that I hope to eat more instead of meat:

• mushrooms

• tempeh

• tofu

• lentils & beans: black bean

• chickpeas

• quinoa

2015021

Things to do at age 32-47 (1.5 precious decade)

1. Be grateful. Gratitude can soothe your desire and competitiveness. More importantly, gratitude is the root of happiness.
2. Love yourself. Stand up for yourself for things that matter. Get out of a bad relationship.
3. Believe that you are beautiful.
4. Believe in miracles. “永远相信，美好的事情即将发生”
5. Travel and continuously learn and learn how to learn (meta learning). “Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.” ~ God via Robin S. Sharma | Learn new languages by immersion.
6. Love your work. If you cannot do what you love, at least love what you do. According to Frankl, “We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering”
7. Take (at least a big) risk(s) to realize your dreams, step by step strategically. Be courageous to explicitly/implicitly express “I love you”. When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.
8. Be thick face enough not to care too much about what other people think.
9. Plant kindness. Do your best to ensure that those who are less fortunate than you, believe that there are sunshine and beauty in this world.
10. Build connection capital. Connection here refers to genuine and authentic relationships, true friendships.
11. Cherish people, use things (not the other way round).
12. Appreciate now and here, the moment, the nature and beauty in the forms of visuals, arts, music, delicious cuisine.
13. Master the art of endurance.
14. View a painful experience as an avenue to increase your wisdom.
15. Move / exercise / dance / walk / hike

Ideas are inspired from:

• Blueroselady
• http://my.vdoobv.com/article.aspx?id=1014742
• http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/37-things-youll-regret-when-youre-old#.gpKVYo7V0

Inspirations from Shakira

While I was attempting to find out which places are ideal for me to live (via WG via facebook), I recall how much I love Shakira. She makes a woman like me go mad.

Lessons from Shakira:
# be compassionate. To instill gratitude in Shakira for her upbringing, her father, a writer of stories, took her to a local park to see orphans who lived there. The images stayed with her and she said to herself “one day I’m going to help these kids when I become a famous artist.”
# be a slash person / multipotentialite (e.g Shakira is a poet, a songwriter, a singer, a dancer)
# embrace multi-disciplines (adopted many genres, including folk, mainstream pop and rock)
# be curious to learn (好学). Shakira frequently studies the history and languages of the countries she visits.

20150502

Things I learned about GERD ~ I prefer lifestyle change

GERD, an abbreviation for Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, should not be taken lightly.

What causes GERD? the valve / lower esophageal sphincter fails to function well resulting in the acidic gastric juices to travel back into esophagus (swelling piep).

How do you know if you may suffer from GERD?
heartburn : burning discomfort in the chest / throat
chest pain / discomfort
abdominal pain
burping / belching
feeling bloated
sleep disturbances
hoarseness
persistent sore throat
persistent cough
difficulty in swallowing
asthma
Bad breath
sour / bitter taste in the mouth

Medical diagnosis includes Barium Swallow Radiograph, endoscopy, biopsy.

Severe, long-standing GERD can result in Barrett’s esophagus, which in turn increases the risk of esophageal cancer.

Drug treatments for GERD include proton pump inhibitors (block the acid pumps in the stomach), histamine2-receptr antagonists (reduce acid production), prokinetic agents (increase the pressure of lower esophageal sphincter to promote stomach emptying), antacids (neutralize stomach acid but not recommended for frequent heartburn of GERD)

Lifestyle change to reduce the GERD symptoms include
# note down foods that trigger GERD
# sleep only after 3 hours after meals
# eat small regular meals
# do not wear tight clothing that increases the pressure on your stomach
# raise the hea of your bed by 10-15cm to reduce night time acid reflux.
# Dietary avoidance of citrus fruits, chocolate, coffee, tea, fatty & fried foods, garlics & onions, mint flavouring, spicy food, tomato-based foods.

# less dine out, more home cook
# relax and minimize stress

More:
Upper GI endoscopy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmsNjUOvbSs and http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/tutorials/uppergiendoscopy/ge059102.pdf
Hiatal hernia may cause heartburn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hav8qe8P1Dc

Gratitude exercise: Write & remember affirmations of gratitude

I am grateful that I am alive.
I appreciate that I have an attitude of gratitude.
I am thankful that I see the blessing on the flip side of the challenging issues.
I appreciate that I love myself through the hard times.

I am grateful that my health is better than yesterday.
I am grateful that my health is better than last week.
I am grateful that my health is better than last month.
I am grateful that my health is better than last year.

I appreciate opportunities to learn different, useful things.
I appreciate that my ability to understand things effortlessly is improving everyday.
I appreciate opportunities to enjoy greenery, sunrise, sunset.

I am thankful for my parents, my husband, my baby.
I am thankful for my siblings.
I am thankful for my friends and acquaintances.
I am thankful for my job and my source of livelihood.

Gratitude exercise: Food that makes you happy

Since food is one of our essential needs, I ask myself why not enjoy them more and let them make me happy.

On the last Thursday of August 2013, l squeeze a South African orange that tasted so sweet. A previous orange from the same batch tasted sour. In an analogy, l hope that sour relationships in our life turn sweet, when we are patient. Being patient is an art.

On the 2nd Monday of September 2013, I had a lunch with Thai friends. A guy who is returning to his home country praised my hard work, he often saw me also working in the weekends. During the lunch, I also tried stir fried fresh bamboo shoot, they taste crunchy, I like it!

In October 2013, I meet up with a mentor Keith Ferrazi, an Italian American. His surname sounds like Ferrari, the fast driving luxurious car to me. Keith’s main message of never eat alone is like a wake-up call for me. Up until 2011, I signed myself up for a challenging project with a deadline of 2011. I was struggling and stressing, I put extra efforts, energy, sweat, time, and even tears into my project. Since my time was limited, I often chose to eat during off-peak hours (I saved time on queuing and finding a seat), but that also means that I could not find someone to eat with (at weird hours). Gradually, I have learned to be comfortable with eating alone and be happy with myself. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because we have to be independent. However, I sacrificed opportunities to develop my inter-dependent skills by eating alone. Now, it is time to form new relationships, to revitalize old relationships, and to sustain harmonious ongoing relationships.

Free food served in association with conferences / talks. Actually, there is no free lunch, someone else is paying for our food, so I can only be grateful. It often makes me think how to increase the production of healthy food to sufficiently and sustainably feed the fast-growing world population.

Simple, relatively bland homemade / home-cooked food after a day of eating strongly-flavored, mass-produced food, to detox and re-balance our body. I am not totally anti-junk food. It is ok to have the indulgence of e.g. desserts, ice cream, curry, etc, but not for every meal!

Some nights, I cook soup overnight using the slow cooker. Having a (sometimes 2!) bowl(s) of hot soup in the morning really makes me more grateful than ever, especially to Mom & Dad who bought the ingredients for us. Thank you for loving us!

In December 2013, I packed snack to work. My snack includes different kinds of fruit (including Thailand longan, Korean Jeju Mandarin, nectarines from Australia), bread, and KitKat Hazelnut! Sometimes, I got free snacks. Life is awesome.