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Are you / your loved one an INTJ? 39 thoughtful descriptions to strategically understand them

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To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

A family friend Z who has been very kind to us and shares similar interest in stocks, appears to be an INTJ, I may be wrong, but I am highly interested to understand him, so that we can be a good, supportive friend of him.

Sometimes, I think that he can be an INFJ instead of INTJ because once he said the importance of making decisions by applying person-centered values.

Perhaps, a friend who kindly gave me a shelter in Boston is also an INTJ. Think of Gandalf and Vito Andolini Corleone of The Godfather by Mario Puzo.

@~@ perfectionist : INTJs have exceptionally high standards, and if they view a colleague or supervisor as incompetent or ineffective, respect will be lost instantly and permanently.

@~@ self-confidence that can be mistaken by others as arrogance

@~@ INTJs value personal initiative, determination, insight and dedication, and believe that everyone should complete their work to the highest possible standards
@~@ easily recognize patterns in events and establish thorough explanations
@~@ open-minded yet guarded
@~@ ambitious yet private
@~@ curious and deeply intrigued by all aspects of the human experience, but they do not squander their energy

@~@ pragmatic

@~@ analytical problem-solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas

@~@ possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability

@~@ INTJs use their creativity and imagination not so much for artistry, but for planning contingencies and courses of action for all possible scenarios.

@~@ spend a lot of time thinking; INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people’s thoughts or feelings.

@~@ the architect / supreme strategists – always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency
@~@ approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity, constantly outmaneuvering their peers in order to maintain control of a situation while maximizing their freedom to move about.

@~@ values solitude

@~@ natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead.
@~@ has a natural thirst for knowledge and enjoy sharing what they know; their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way.
@~@ simultaneously the most starry-eyed idealists and the bitterest of cynics
@~@ Rules, limitations and traditions are anathema to the INTJ personality type – everything should be open to questioning and reevaluation, and if they see a way, INTJs will often act unilaterally to enact their technically superior, sometimes insensitive, and almost always unorthodox methods and ideas.
@~@ useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality; Authority figures do not impress INTJs, nor do social conventions or tradition, and no matter how popular something is, if they have a better idea, INTJs will stand against anyone they have to in a bid to have it changed.
@~@ less comfortable with the unpredictable nature of other people and their emotions.
@~@ INTJs are the most independent of all the sixteen types and take more or less conscious pride in that independence.
@~@ selective about their relationships, preferring to associate with people who they find intellectually stimulating.
@~@ Among types least likely to suffer heart disease and cardiac problems
@~@ Least likely of all the types to believe in a higher spiritual power
@~@ One of two types with highest college GPA
@~@ Among types with highest income
@~@ Personal values include Achievement
@~@ Of all types, least likely to state that they value Home/family, Financial security, Relationships & friendships, and Community service
@~@ Over-represented among MBA students and female small business owners
@~@ Commonly found in scientific or technical fields, computer occupations, and legal professions
@~@ gain the most satisfaction from turning their ideas into reality.
@~@ INTJ will never be comfortable with a truly public display of emotions
@~@ In friendship, INTJs are looking for more of an intellectual soul mate than anything else, and those that aren’t prepared for that kind of relationship are simply boring. INTJs need to share ideas – a self-feeding circle of gossip about mutual friends is no kind of social life for them. INTJ especially like to spend time with other Intuitive Thinkers, and also usually enjoy the company of Intuitive Feelers. These personality types love to theorize and speculate about ideas, and so can usually relate well to the INTJ, who loves to analyze ideas.
@~@ INTJs will keep up with just a few good friends, eschewing larger circles of acquaintances in favor of depth and quality. Having more than just a few friends would compromise INTJs’ sense of independence and self-sufficiency – they gladly give up social validation to ensure this freedom.
@~@ The sarcasm and dark humor of INTJ are not for the faint of heart, nor for those who struggle to read between the lines, but they make for fantastic story-telling among those who can keep up. This more or less limits their pool of friends to fellow Analysts (NT) and Diplomat (NF) types.
@~@ INTJs also recognize that life is often the best teacher, and they will tend to be fairly liberal, allowing their children to have their own adventures and make their own decisions, further developing these critical thinking skills.
@~@ INTJs prefer more "lone wolf" positions as mechanical or software engineers, lawyers or freelance consultants, only accepting competent leadership that helps in these goals
@~@ Efficiency and results are king to INTJs

Are not threatened by confrontation or criticism
Are self-confident
Place relationships and commitments as a high priority
Are very intelligent with lots of potential
Know when it is right to end a relationship
Always try to improve relationships
Are great listeners

Are out of tune with others’ feelings, resulting in possible insensitivity
Often respond to conflict with logic and reason, while lacking emotional involvement
Have difficulty expressing feelings and emotions
Possess a strong belief in their personal (informed) opinions
Lack the ability to accept blame
Possess a constant quest for improvement that may be difficult on relationships
Tend to restrict part of themselves

Suitable careers for INTJ:
Business Administrator
Corporate Strategist
Computer Programmer
Computer Specialist
Military Officer
Medical Doctor
Organization Founder
Systems Analyst


Written by blueroselady

September 22, 2015 at 8:29 pm

Are you / your loved one an ESFJ? ~26 simple descriptions to understand them

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To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

A friend A, who has showered me with sisterhood’s love (that I have never ever imagined), is an ESFJ, I may be wrong, but I am highly interested to understand her, so that I can be a good, supportive friend of her. I am really grateful to her and wish that she will discover her happiness in romance and work.

@~@ ~ 12% people are ESFJ
@~@ quite popular / good with people, good at manipulating them (to achieve their own ends) while they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.
@~@ good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they are with at the moment.
@~@ need to feel appreciated and know they’ve helped someone. altruistic
@~@ dislike conflict and criticism
@~@ well-organized
@~@ strongly need to be liked
@~@ need to be in control
@~@ do not mind monotony, routine work
@~@ place a lot of importance on what is socially acceptable, and can be very cautious / critical of anything unconventional / outside the mainstream.
@~@ SF people base their moral compass on established traditions / laws, upholding authority and rules, rather than drawing their morality from philosophy /mysticism like NF people do.
@~@ have a strong moral code that is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.
@~@ enjoy hearing about their friends’ relationships and activities, remembering little details, ready to talk things out with warmth and sensitivity. can be kaypoh, indeed practical matters and gossip are their bread and butter.
@~@ ESFJ thrive on staying up to date with what their friends are doing
@~@ Use their SJ (sensing and Judging) characteristics to gather specific, detailed info about others, and turn this info into supportive judgments.
@~@ prefer plans / organized events to open-ended activities, than spontaneous activities.
@~@ good career: personal accountant (not corporate accountant), teacher, social work / medical care.
@~@ expect AUTHORITY to be respected and backed up by rules and standards
@~@ can be efficient, hard-working subordinate; but struggle with too much freedom and improvisation
@~@ often seek friends at work
@~@ almost always willing to lend a hand when / where it’s needed
@~@ excellent networkers (think of Bill Clinton), seem to "know the person" to bring a project together on time.
@~@ when ESFJ’s suggestions / help are turned down, they can take it personally.
@~@ vulnerable to stress
@~@ never challenge the authority of ESFJ as she can stress out, loses her temper, and just generally reacts badly.
@~@ ESFJ’s natural partner is ISFP or INFP. ESFJ prefers stable, harmonious relationships and like a partner who is able to be loving and committed, even when the ESFJ has strong emotional reactions. PS: I’ll be on hunt for such a desirable man for my friend.

What can we do to support a loved one who is an ESFJ?
@~@ must thank / appreciate her from time to time (whenever there is such an opportunity to do so)
@~@ never tell her you that are critical of her beliefs / habits / traditions (if any). Iit can hurt her greatly / cause her to be very defensive). ESFJ dislikes criticism.
@~@ if you must turn down her suggestions / help, do it very very diplomatically.
@~@ do not challenge her authority.
@~@ as a friend, I must respect / be supportive of her dreams or opinions
@~@ talk more about practical matters (e.g. cooking, how to solve work problems efficiently), she likes it.
@~@ do not talk too much about your private selves that you are not comfortable that others would know, but reveal some that you do not mind others to know… she enjoys knowing specific details about you. We are learning to love / understand kaypoh people.


Written by blueroselady

May 24, 2015 at 6:37 am

Are you / your loved one an INFJ? ~40 simple descriptions to understand them

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To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

Since a good friend of mine is INFJ and I would love to understand her,
I have been highly motivated to learn (and now share) about INFJ people.

INFJ = Protector = Counselor = Confidant = Healer = Foreseer Developer.

Only 1% of the population has INFJ personality (the most rare personality type).

Dear INFJ,
“You are not here merely to make a living.
You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply,
with greater vision,
with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.
You are here to enrich the world,
and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”
Woodrow Wilson

Famous people who are INFJ:
Amelie Poulain
Carl Jung
D Yuri Zhivago – Doctor Zhivago
Eleanor Rossevelt
Jimmy Carter
Mahatma Gandhi
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mother Teresa
Nelson Mandela
Nicole Kidman
Oprah Winfrey

and fictional characters of INFJs:
Luke Skywalker
Jane Eyre

Bloggers who declare themselves as INFJs:
Jennifer Zhang
Barbara Coz

@~@ live with integrity / have strong value systems / Highly principled.
@~@ is independent.
@~@ is creative (artistic / original / INFJ live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities).
@~@ INFJs often think by way of images ; their minds are of visual nature.
@~@ When engrossed in creative flow / Csikszentmihalyi’s flow , INFJ experience themselves in perfect synchrony with the universe. Some have described this as a trance (an altered state of consciousness in which they morph into a vessel of creative energy). Others have likened it to divine inspiration or being visited by muses.
@~@ is visionary / idealistic / future-oriented.
@~@ are constantly in a state of self-renewal ; believe in constant growth and don’t often take time to revel in their accomplishments.
@~@ constantly seeking meaning and purpose in everything.
@~@ determined (they rarely stray from their vision no matter what it is / they don’t believe in compromising their ideals).
@~@ devoted.
@~@ hardworking.
@~@ generally “doers” as well as great dreamers.
@~@ deep / complex (INFJ has complex feelings & take great care to express them).
@~@ cooperative in reaching their goals.
@~@ gentle / easy going (although they have very high expectations of themselves).
Gandhi remarked that “In a gentle way, you can shake the world”.
@~@ is an excellent listener with almost infinite patience. In the words of infjoe, “Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I’m not listening. I’m busy focusing on the things that aren’t being said.”
@~@ INFJs are old souls. Many grow up feeling wiser than would be predicted by their chronological age.
@~@ natural nurturer / focus on human potentials.
@~@ altruistic / love to contribute to welfare of the human beings.
@~@ INFJ enjoy the chance to share their wisdom, theories, and insights.
@~@ natural leader ; although they are not generally visible leaders, they quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. To quote Susan Cain, “Quiet leadership is not an oxymoron.”
@~@ caring / warm / helpful / compassionate / service-oriented / can readily ingratiate 讨好 themselves to others.
@~@ insightful ; artful / canny understanding of people & situations ; INFJ can become aware of another’s emotions or intentions-good or evil-even before that person is conscious of them. This ‘mind-reading’ can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others to an extent which is difficult for other personality types to comprehend.
@~@ INFJ are quick to differentiate the “real and authentic” from the “fake and contrived”. INFJ can ‘X-ray’ other personalities / they can “read” people.
@~@ Value deep, authentic relationships.
@~@ highly intuitive / spontaneous within themselves.
@~@ INFJs concern themselves with forging new connections and reconciling opposites by way of their Intuition.
@~@ focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.
@~@ strong empathy ; INFJ have strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others, hence they can be hurt rather easily by those around them, which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people, mutely withdrawing from human contact.
@~@ protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it ; reserved about expressing their true selves.
@~@ INFJs tend to be quiet ; they expend energy in social situations (whereas extraverts gain energy).
@~@ orderly / systematic (in their outer world) ; INFJ constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives.
@~@ INFJ are system builders; most INFJ systems are founded on human beings and human values.
@~@ Can work logically and rationally – use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it.

@~@ believe in their intuition & tend to ignore other people’s opinions. Solutions: seek trusted mentors / Jedi / collaborators.
@~@ cannot tolerate conflict very well. can easily burn out / suffer depression. Solutions: develop strong inner strength & inner peace.
@~@ a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential ; there’s always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them.
1. be gentle with yourself.
2. be mindful of the intrisic desire of INFJ to constantly improve their romantic partner which may be perceived as being naggy, know when to apply Siberian North Rail Road technique (Stope, Breathe, Notice, Reflect, Respond).
@~@ highly sensitive. Solutions: learn how to center & ground yourself while realizing other people’s problems aren’t always INFJ’s to help fixing.

@~@ INFJs seek high quality, in-depth relationships.
@~@ INFJ see love relationship as an opportunity to connect and grow.
@~@ INFJ enjoy relationships when they are improving and changing, but not stagnation.
@~@ INFJ’s natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ is also compatible with INTJ.
Why ENFP?The inner world of INFJs in many ways resembles the outer world of ENFPs. It is playful, colorful, mischievous, and daring.

When other people don’t get INFJ, they see INFJ as manipulative / weak / unstable.

Suitable career for INFJ:
entrepreneur / marketer.
artist (e.g. designer, photographer).
scientist where they make use of their intuition.
medical Doctors / dentists / alternative medicine guru (e.g. Chiropractor, Reflexologist).
psychologists / psychiatrists.
Counselors / Social Workers.
teacher / professor / trainer.
Child Care / Early Childhood Development.

At work, INFJ stay motivated and happy … as long as they are working toward a dream they support.
INFJ are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.
Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

Related: : with highly recommended comic / cartoon !
Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

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