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Posts Tagged ‘self-awareness

Are you / your loved one an ENFP? 26 fun & spontaneous points to understand them

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To know your personality type,
you can do an instant self-guided assessment here.

ENFP = Inspirer = Visionary

Famous people who are ENFP:
Fidel Castro
Bill Cosby
Tom Cruise
Walt Disney
Anne Frank
Che Guevara
Don Quixote
Jerry Seinfeld
Dr. Seuss
Charlie Sheen
Mark Twain
Oscar Wilde
Robin Williams

@~@ have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives.
@~@ value authenticity.
@~@ thoughtfully quixotic / exceedingly idealistic.
@~@ need time alone to center themselves.
@~@ future-oriented.
@~@ project-oriented.
@~@ bright / capable to grasp difficult concepts, abstracts, theories / versatile.
@~@ creative / imaginative / energetic / enthusiastic / curious.
@~@ frisky / playful, bubbly yet serious.
@~@ easily bored / dislike doing routine tasks (including eating the same food everyday!) / dislike bureaucracy.
Solutions:
1. give your ENFP employees / family members new / exciting projects in which they can exercise their creativity.
2. since ENFP is not good at following things through to completion, s/he can collaborate with completer finisher or avoid jobs which require performing a lot of detailed, routine-oriented tasks.
3. for love partner, be comfortable with the need of change and new experiences that ENFP is craving for.
4. ENFP must learn how to prioritize, to overcome procrastination and to be more organized.
@~@ have great people skills, friendly, extremely intuitive and perceptive about people.
@~@ able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease.
@~@ Make connections between events and information very quickly.
@~@ ENFP learns best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others.

@~@ charismatic / a natural entertainer with lively sense of humor & a gift of gab / chatter, dramatic, energetic, optimistic, fun, spontaneous.
@~@ strive for win-win situations.
@~@ Natural leaders, but do not like to control people.
@~@ excel at bringing out the best in others.
@~@ dislike / resist being controlled / labeled / micromanaged by others / restrained by rules / regulations. ENFP strongly needs to be independent & a master of own fate.
@~@ ENFPs do well with suggestions, not commands.
@~@ needs approval / affirmation / appreciation from others, extreme dislike of criticism.
ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.
Solutions: give our dear ENFP friends / colleagues / family members appreciation and gratitude.
@~@ have a strong need to be liked. Solution:
ENFP have to learn to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance.

@~@ ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person / situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
@~@ ENFP often suffers from muscular tension.
Solution:
Learn to discipline themselves against beginning too many projects and making commitments to too many people.
@~@ analysis paralysis. ENFPs always look for hidden motives and tend to over think even the simplest things, constantly asking themselves why someone did what they did and what that might mean.
@~@ naturally agreeable. vulnerable to schemers or con artists.

Suitable career for ENFP:
Entrepreneur
Writer / Journalist / Television Reporter
Computer Programmer / Systems Analyst
Scientist / Engineer
Psychologist
Consultant / Counselor
Teacher
Artist / Actor
Politician / Diplomat

Expectations and communication are two basic areas of relationship.
In love relationship, people are usually attracted to their opposite on the Extraversion/Introversion and Judging/Perceiving scales.
ENFP’s natural love partner is INTJ or INFJ.
However, when it comes to work colleagues, or friends, we are not especially interested in dealing with people who are very unlike ourselves. We are most comfortable with those who have similar interests and perspectives, and we do not show a lot of motivation or patience for dealing with our opposites.

Related:
http://kevintiller.com/about-2/i-am-an-enfp/
http://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/im-married-to-my-polar-opposite-istj-enfp/
http://www.elizabethesther.com/2011/04/in-defense-of-dithering-and-enfps.html
http://www.elizabethesther.com/2012/04/enfp-in-photos.html
http://www.opp.com/en-ie/tools/mbti/mbti-personality-types/enfp
http://happyandhealthykate.wordpress.com/tag/enfp/

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How not to listen to non-constructive criticism?

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This article is inspired by John Gurdon’s experience on criticism. He received Nobel prize in 2012. Though I have never met him, I counted a blessing that in a period of my life, I walked / cycled passed the Gurdon Institute (named after him) regularly.

An Eton teacher of John Gurdon wrote that the then 15-year-old John Gurdon wouldn’t listen, couldn’t learn simple biological facts and, horror of horrors, "insisted on doing work in his own way". In one test, Gurdon scored a miserable two out of 50.

The report made John Gurdon disheartened, but fortunately one of John Gurdon’s early decision on not to listen to non-constructive criticism indeed played an important role in his subsequent research work, including the discovery that mature cells can be converted to stem cells (and ended up winning a Nobel prize).

How not to listen to non-constructive criticism?

1. Be prepared that in life, no matter what we do (including noble actions), some people will criticize us. To protect ourselves against these peace robbers, we can
# enhance our inner strength by reminding / focusing ourselves on our strength
# have a thick face

2. Be aware of the reasons why people give non-constructive criticism

# jealousy and justification attempt. They are jealous of our achievements and attempt to gain self-importance by criticizing us. They justify themselves at the expense of us. Do not fear those who criticize us because of their jealousy. Perhaps, those who criticize us suffer from low self-esteem and meet their need of having self-importance by criticizing, instead we can be kind by giving them empathy and sympathy.

# ignorance and inexperience. For example, you want to attempt a new venture and you seek advices from people around you. Those who never start up a company or those who have failed will project their fear and criticize you. Do not listen to these naysayers. Instead, consult those who have successfully achieved what you want to achieve.

3. Be mindful of your perspective (mind), emotions, and body

# Must be able to see the BIG PICTURE
When I was a primary and junior high school student, I accept the fact that teachers are role models. I did not question their authorities. They were the grown-ups with more knowledge and wisdom than me who was only a fledgling individual. I did not realize that teachers are also human beings, subjected to human conditions (both positive and negative attributes). Few of my teachers had ego and misused their authorities. They criticized students who refused to follow them, e.g. if a student refused to learn bad words, he would be labeled as self-righteous. Fortunately, I moved to a better school and I learned a lot from my kind teachers – those who teach for the passion of teaching and nurturing the next generation more than for earning an income (of course everyone has to earn a living). Looking back, those teachers who criticized things I thought as right, did no longer matter.

Then, when I started my study in a famous place, an unhappy professor told me that the only reason I went there was because of the fame. Well, while that reason honestly contributed to my decision, I had bigger reasons why I fought all my ways to gain admission there. At that time, when such a professor with his authority / power and perceived superiority (in knowledge, ability, etc) said such things to students, the impact could be huge. However, I did not listen to him. I shifted my focus to my purpose (FOCUS ON YOUR PURPOSES). I managed to work with more successful (and more generous and kinder) professors, produced results, and graduated. My mentor CNC loves to say that success is always the sweetest revenge (without harming our past offenders).

My learning journey then brought me to meet inspiring entrepreneurs. In some aspects, I look up to entrepreneurs who create jobs for many people and excellent products / services with great values, more than to professors who care only about their tenure, publications, and self-importance in their fields (of course, there are always kind professors, I was fortunate to meet and work with few of them). My experience with the entrepreneurs unleash an inner desire of me: to be an entrepreneur. That is why I am working everyday to prepare myself for my venture, to provide values to my customers. I believe that I will be invited to teach / give talks at universities because of my expertise, instead of having to apply and fight for limited faculty positions.

To summarize, I have met more people and seen the world, my perspectives have changed. When you climb a mountain, your standpoint / perspective has elevated, you can see wider and hence the bigger picture.

# Must be able to be the master of our emotion
Often, when one is criticized, one will end up feeling sad, shameful, worried (worry is a kind of fear), or angry. All these emotions are of lower consciousness.
Be aware of your emotion, then you can shift those of lower consciousness to those of higher consciousness (e.g. courage, patience).
For example, you can manage your anger through techniques such as loving yourself, Siberian North Rail Road, and detachment.

# Learn to relax our body
Criticisms from people whose matter to us (e.g. parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, or even peers) can result in racing heart, sweating, shaking, flushing face.
When you are aware of these physical reactions of your body, use relaxation to calm down. Breath deeply. Visualize / imagine serene places that you remember from your travel. Recall prayers that you have said countless times.

"Let nothing disturb you,
nothing frighten you,
all things are passing.
God is unchanging.
Patience gains all;
nothing is lacking to those who have God:
God alone is sufficient."
St Teresa of Avilla

Related:
How to Handle Criticism and Nonconstructive Feedback by Nicole Wolfe
*Davidson_not_hopeless* (in my ref folder)

More readings:
http://www.economist.com/node/21564525
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/

My positive self-image

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What are Blueroselady’s talents?
# enormous listening ears.
# fast-learner (e.g. Blueroselady can do professional-grade make-up, family / portrait photography).
# curiosity in learning, foreign lands, travel.
# can combine multiple actions to produce desirable results.

What are things that Blueroselady likes best about herself?
# greater-than-self purpose (to inspire millions of people through my internationally qualified learning skills).
# angelic innocent face.
# loving.
# listening ability.
# appreciative of God’s gifts (e.g. appreciation and love of diverse food, people, places).

What are areas of my personhood that I need to improve?
# to be always positive.
# to be more focus.
# time management.
# worry less.
# angry less.

Written by blueroselady

March 22, 2012 at 3:14 pm