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Posts Tagged ‘perception

Details matter

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Details matter as they affect perceptions and hence emotions.
Best marketers, directors, writers, innovators, scientists pay attention to details as a form of commitment to their endeavors. For example, the movie The Grandmaster by Wong Kar Wai.

Here are 2 simple examples to illustrate the point.

1. I attended a talk to introduce a high tech small company and the technology sounds sophisticated and convincing (to me in spite of the soft spoken speaker), until I saw a typo in the reference. While I am forgiving and aiming to minimize perfectionism, I recall a warning from my structural thinking class. Consultants are rigorously trained to polish their presentation slides to the level of perfection. A single mistake in the slide means game over. An overlook of details can cause consultants to lose the trust and confidence of their clients; they simply lose their clients. Lesson: For things that matter, always double check, triple check.

2. I was excited to use a 3-color pen with a brand of Lonza on it (instead of having to carry 3 pens, I only need 1), that I received while attending a Lonza-sponsored event. But, the fact that it runs out of ink in less than 3 usage, was disappointing. I know that the pen is not manufactured by Lonza, but outsourced.
I do not mean to be ungrateful here, but this tiny experience makes me think that if I am playing a role of giver, I will ensure quality control (QC) of my gifts, particularly if the gifts are parts of marketing plan.
Giving can be a double sword, especially if the gifts are of sub-quality. Receivers of bad gifts will shift their perceptions of the givers from positive to negative.
Receivers may think that "Perhaps it is not only the gifts are lousy, but the products are lousy too!"
Receivers will also doubt the sincerity of the company / giver / (service) provider.
Lesson: Ensure QC of gifts. If I cannot ensure QC, I will just give smiles. Free but sincere.

Final remark:
If you need a team player who is attentive to details, consider having a completer finisher in your team.

Written by blueroselady

October 9, 2013 at 4:45 am

Posted in family

Tagged with , , , ,

How to survive in-laws and not end up out-laws? 8 strategies for Asian in-laws

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Based on sharing of a few friends & acquaintances,
some parents in Asia cannot let go of their grown children.
Friction with in-laws can be a primary cause of stress in the early years of marriage.

Depending on each individual’s perception,
a word / sentence can be
well intentioned advice or
interfering / insensitive comment.

How to survive in-laws and not end up out-laws (in the context of Asian in-laws) ?
# If parents need to be confronted, agree that their own biological child, and not the son-in-law or daughter-in-law, do the talking.
# If in-laws are controlling, you can be PLEASANT, APPROPRIATE & FACTUAL.
# Invite in-laws to share a part in your parenting journey.
# DEFINE family friendly policies : holiday plans, home rules & boundaries with grandchildren.

# DO NOT SNUB / IGNORE your in-laws.
# DO NOT TRY TO WIN A BATTLE (e.g. via outwitting / out-talking your in-laws in a conflict) but you may end up losing the war (you risk losing the love and respect they have for you).
# DO NOT ERECT INVISIBLE FENCES to shut out your in-laws because this act only creates greater hostility.
# DO NOT MANIPULATE / POWER PLAY.

Written by blueroselady

March 14, 2013 at 3:05 am

Posted in family, love

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"Sorry" : how different people perceive it differently

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Story 1:
Having lived in England, I am somehow influenced by their highly polite nature.
For a small mistake / unintentional little offense, the English will say "I am very sorry".
Note the use of "very".
I was impressed by their high level of politeness.
The English (the people in my workplace, my school, my church) appears to be highly civilized,
of course there are also 小混混,
on the street,
I encountered once, the 小混混 who spit on me.
The encounter made me extra careful,
to avoid some area.
Eventually, I enjoyed happy life,
and collected one of the most beautiful memories of my life,
while I was in England.

After I left England, I realize that some of the English who said "I am very sorry", might not mean it so much, it has been their habit to say such a too 客气话. But, I really appreciate their kindness (see, this is an example that I have been influenced by the English).

Story 2:
SM does not like to hear anyone says sorry for a simple mistake / error.
She feels that the word sorry is reserved for a big mistake.
She also thinks that people who say the word sorry too easily, when they say sorry, they do not sincerely mean that they regret what they did.

Messages of the stories:
1. Awareness of different meaning of words to different people, is important.
2. Use words wisely (adapt our choice of words for different people).

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Written by blueroselady

March 11, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Posted in pyschology

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On defining, dreamlining, doing, being, and having

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I am a BIG dreamer.
I have many dreams.

I am very grateful that I have achieved many of my dreams, from receiving free education in top universities, flying an airplane, to sponsoring my parents for their trip to UK.

Recently, I learned about dreamlining from Tim.
Dreamlining = DREAMs + timeLINEs
It means applying timeLINEs (e.g. 6 months, 1 year) to what most people would consider DREAMs.

In autumn 2012,

Things I dream of HAVING :
happy, healthy and independent children (by 2016)
profitable property (by 2015)
freehold property in the city area (by 2019)

Things I dream of BEING :
entrepreneur (by 2014)
millionaire (by 2019)
author of a New York Times bestselling book (by 2014)

Things I dream of DOING :
increase my income (by 2014), see the target in my pink board
achieve financial freedom and abundance (by 2019)
donate 80% of what I have for charity and live comfortably with the remaining 20% (by 2019)
visit Iceland / Antarctica (by 2014) and see aurora borealis

Tips:
1. If you do not know what you want,
brainstorm on what you do not want / what you hate / fear,
and write down the opposite.
2. convert BEING into DOING (actionable).

See also my bucket list, focusing on a happy and fruitful life beyond a century.

A thought on definition / meaning
Tim Ferriss wrote on p58 of his book The 4-hour workweek that being fluent in Chinese means having a 5-minute conversation with a Chinese co-worker.
In my opinion, one does not qualify to state (e.g. in one’s CV) a fluency in a particular language by merely being able to talk for 5 minutes.
This comes to my awareness that definition / meaning varies among people. I do not blame people, but I am aware that it is natural for human beings to put their PERCEIVED truth in the best light.
Recent complaints by friends (WT, SH) about students and fresh graduates who have good paper qualifications, but end up not as productive / talented as expected, are indeed related to the concept of varying meaning.
Next time when I hire someone, instead of believing what he states as his ability, I will ask for demonstration.
e.g. if someone claims a fluency in a particular programming language, ask the person to write 10,000 lines of code.

Written by blueroselady

October 19, 2012 at 11:11 am

How to be an expert in a month?

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In my current profession, people have spent years, even decades, to become an expert.
Even among the experts, there can be opposing opinions on particular topic(s).

This post is inspired by what Tim Ferriss wrote in his book The 4-hour workweek (selling at US$ 22), page 170 (automation section), on how to be an expert in 4 weeks.
Tim’s strategies made me think twice to believe that someone when s/he claims that he is an expert.
Often, those who are PERCEIVED as experts tend to be better sellers than those who are really experts.
Note: there can be an overlap between perceived and real experts. Think of Venn diagram.
To be very successful, one has lie in the overlap region in the Venn diagram.

How to recognize PERCEIVED experts (that sell)?
1. affiliations
2. client lists
3. credentials (have given talks, written articles)
4. media coverage / features

Tim’s strategies will not work on fields like medicine or law, in which one needs to have M.D. or J.D. respectively.
However, his strategies can work on many fields, e.g. relationship, business, management.

Here, I combine his strategies with few ideas of mine:
1. AFFILIATIONS.
Join 2 / 3 related trade / professional organizations.
Quick, online, use credit cards.
2. SELECTIVE READING and SIMPLIFY.
Read 3 top-selling books on my topic.
Search historical New York Times bestseller lists online.
Like an hourglass, simplify / summarize each book on 1 page, so that I can elaborate them later (up to hours).
3. TALK.
3a. Give 1 free 1-to-3 hour talk at top universities.
Use posters / mass emails / social media (e.g. facebook, twitter) / viral marketing to advertise.
3b. Give free talk to (a min of 2) top companies.
Tell the companies that I have done steps 1 and 3a.
Companies may prefer speakers who do not (hard) sell products / services.
Appeal to the companies through my reason to get additional non-academic speaking experience.
3c. Give popular talks, e.g. TED talks.
4. WRITE and PUBLISH.
Write 1 or 2 articles on my topics for magazines / newspapers.
To be credible, cite my accomplishment in steps 1-3.
Alternatively, offer to interview a known expert and write the article.
5. join ProfNet
Must do research (e.g. online) to respond to journalist queries.
To be credible, cite my accomplishment in steps 1-4.

More on step 2:
People may read and just acquire information (which they may later forget), without converting them into knowledge and wisdom, and more importantly, into action.
When we read to summarize, we think on the important points, hence transforming the information into our own knowledge and wisdom.

See also my schedule entry 20121018 for more ideas.