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Posts Tagged ‘friendship

Tips on how to make a small talk from Keith Ferrazi

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I came to know Keith through Michael, and my encounter with Keith, an Italian American somehow reminded me on an experience when an Italian teacher of mine unexpectedly saw me in a professional conference in US, was so happy and rushed to kiss my cheek. Well, as an Asian, I was not used to such a very warm of greeting, but I do appreciate his warmth and caring attitude.

My Italian teacher is a famous professor in his field of expertise, and he remembers me because I am one of his weaker students. I asked him more questions, so like it or not, he ended up remembering me (at least my face). But I guess I have a good attribute too though I am not among his smartest students, it is never give up.

I am grateful to Keith for sharing a lot of useful advice. Herein, I share tips that I learned from Keith Ferrazi on how to make a small talk. They are particularly useful to me because I want to expand my network of friends and acquaintance for my new endeavor next year.

"Friendship si created out of the quality spent between people, not the quantity."

How to make small talks?
1. First, give a person a hearty smile. It says "I’m approachable"
2. Start a conversation, keep it going, create a bond. Be proactive (as Stephen Covey advices).
3. Relax. Unfold your arms.
4. Be yourself. Your uniqueness is your power.
5. Maintain a good balance of eye contact. Unblinking stare 100% of time = leering (scary!). Eye contact less than 70% of time = disinterested and rude.
6. Nod your head and lean in (without invading duifang space).
7. Be sincere, without pride nor insecurity. Do not be an eye darter.
8. Share your passion (e.g. food, cooking, writing, reading stories for children), but do not preach it.
9. Vulnerability is one of the most under-appreciated assets in business today.
10. Adjust your Johari window.
11. Learn to listen.
12. If all else fails, "You’re wonderful. Tell me more."

See also
email "Keith Ferrazi"

Written by blueroselady

October 28, 2013 at 6:49 am

Reflections on love: Happy Valentine 2013

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Love means giving in without giving up.

Being in love produces the same physiological responses as fear: pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.

Men who kiss their wives each morning live 5 years longer than those who don’t.

Medical experts suggest you are more likely to catch a common cold by shaking hands than by kissing.

Love and marriage are boosts for your health, so much so that one doctor admitted that if a new drug had the same impact, virtually every doctor in the country would be recommending it.

“Marriage is 3 parts love and 7 parts forgiveness of sins,” Lao Tzu observed.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
According to research, love at first sight is not just a fairy tale. If a person is in the right emotional frame of mind, it can take as little as 30 seconds to fall in love. Physical appearance tops he list for attraction, but a desire to know more about t person is another factor. Interestingly, men fall first but are usually the most fickle, a sign that it is possible to fall in love with more than a person at a time.

In my darkest moment I found my brightest light. I am so glad I found you.

I not only love you, but love that you love me.

A reflection on universal love through a Swedish proverb,
“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.”
The worst, ugliest, dirtiest, most annoying human being we have encountered is probably the one that we have to love most, because s/he is the one who needs our love or compassion most.

I will tell my children, “when the going gets tough, remember: your mother loves you.”

I love this quote by Antoine De Saint-Exupery:
“Perhaps friendship is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.”

I also love this quote by Vincent van Gogh:
“The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

Happy Valentine 2013, with love from Blueroselady.

Written by blueroselady

February 14, 2013 at 1:18 pm

What my friends say about me

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I admit that I can be a loner, but I am not an anti social person.
In fact, I enjoy listening to my friends and giving ideas to solve their problems or make their lives happier and healthier when they feel that they need my advice.

I admit that I am frugal, yet not stingy.
Some people may mistaken me as stingy and dislike me.
However, I do not care.
I make friends not to gain the liking and approval, yet to make my friends happy.

Well, not all my friends are expressive in their writings, yet some are so kind to write affirmations for me so that I can be a better friend than ever.

Here are a collection of testimonials.

These testimonials are mainly for me to read because when some people who write me off as a friend starts to criticize me or simply when an angry friend unleashes his or her emotion on me, I will be like a ROCK that can gives encouragement to myself and others who want to receive it.

A (US): You are CARING and awesome. Thank you so much for the money (from my birth country). It is an awesome souvenir.
A (UK): You are forever so nice. Thank for taking care of us in the trip.
AL (HK): You’re a very nice and smart girl. I still remember the moment where we have our first chat after the flight to Xi’An. It’s always COMFORTABLE to talk with you.
CL (HK): I will not forget all the mornings when I woke up from my bed and you always asked me if I slept well. You are also such a brilliant person. You are smart and very devoted to your work, be it your study or photography. You are so attentive to details, trying to remember everything you experienced and everyone you met.
E (HK, US, UK) : You’re such a friendly, sweet and intelligent person and I really treasure the time we spent together.
H (Canada): You are a wonderful person with a big heart.
IK (Canada): You always wear such a beautiful smile on your face.
J (HK): I appreciate your learning attitude and your courage in challenging yourself more. Work hard for your dreams.
JC (Canada): You are such a sweet and cute girl. I will certainly miss your smile after tomorrow.
JB (China): I like you sooooo much, your personality really good. you are soooo cute! I think there must be thousands of people around who like your personality. Keep it on!!! I am soooo lucky to become your friend.
L (US): You are a great person to talk to and I will miss that.
MXR (China): I feel sooooooo happy to be friend with you. I’ve never seen a girl who is so kind-hearted and friendly. I’ll never forget your sweet smile.
P (Thailand, US): You are truly one of the most nicest, thoughtful, and selfless people I know. I really enjoyed meeting you and am grateful to count you among my friends.
YH (Malaysia): You have been a very personal and down to earth person. I can see that you like spending quality time talking to other people, hoping to UNDERSTAND them better, including the family in the train, the old lady at the Expo.

Written by blueroselady

June 16, 2012 at 5:31 am

Buying gifts at London

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I am going home, to hug Mama for the first time since I started my PhD study in an turbulent autumn. Now, my main aim is to graduate ~ will fight for it.

This Saturday, the last day of Feb 2009, I spent shopping at London ~ I wonder when I will be a rich lady, who can spend pounds as much as I like for my family and Darling.

My day itinerary: Borough MarketSouthwark CathedralHarrodsSohoNational Gallery

Borough Market is London’s oldest food market. It was established on the south bank of the Thames when the Romans built the first London Bridge. It has occupied its present site for 250 years. Wikipedia said that one of the scenes in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was filmed at the Borough Market.

I love Borough Market, very colorful for photography and there are so many free testing of food. Tried cheese (some I like, some I don’t), mushroom pate (quite tasty), wine and foie gras (I ignorantly inquired if this is a cheese, creating laughters), chilli pastes, chocolates, etc. The stalls people are very nice, I asked permission if I can take photos, they said yes. I learned that there are so many different kinds of mushrooms, I guess Borough Market is a good place to bring children to learn about food and English words. I had a French creme caramel for a pound!

Note added in 2013: the French creme caramel is actually creme brulee which has become one of my favorite desserts. I also treated Dad and Mon the same dessert at the Borough Market when I brought them to London. Thank you God for being so generous to me!

At nearby Southwark Cathedral, I saw a statue of Shakespeare – who said had worked at Southwark. I also saw the Harvard chapel, observed the two Veritas, on the ceiling and on the stained glass. A crest-like stone behind the main altar, at the left, “God is love, God is light, God with us“.

Heading to Harrods, the Jubilee line was closed, so I had to spend more time in underground. I decided not to take underground anymore for the rest of the day. Harrods is like a palace, the food there are very expensive. I was tempted to have lunch there, but not in the end. I spent almost 55 pounds at Harrods, 47 pounds solely on chocolates (less than a kg in 5 packages of different weights) for my loved ones. I bought these: Harrods Belgian, Harrods English, and Godiva. I have dreamed of buying Godiva chocolates for my Diva, since I learned about this brand in my undergraduate final year marketing course. When I was in a-day-trip to Brussel in summer 2008, I went to an area where there were so many chocolate shops, I had a iced chocolate drink from Godiva and bought a bottle of chocolate paste. I had good memories on Godiva, so my Diva must try it. Actually, I also want to buy a caviar for her to try. I did not see such a product at Borough Market, there are some in Harrods – the good quality one ranges from over 200 to over 300 pounds for 30 or 50g (beyond my budget). There are cheaper options, the salmon fish roe or trout roe, around 15 pounds, but the staff said it will not last if I travel on the plane. It will be so troublesome to request air stewardess to put on the fridge, because
first, I need to take the nightmare coach to Heathrow
second, I need to transit and change plane.
I think my Diva has never tried caviar, so I really hope she could enjoy beautiful things in life. I will look forward to this opportunity in future.

I have not done shopping yet, tomorrow I am going to M&S to buy Triple chocolate cereals, my brother’s favorite. I bought that and Thornton chocolates, to be passed over by my Hero to my Diva in the end of 2007.

I caught bus 14, 60 pence cheaper than underground, with free view of London streets. Very satisfied. I sat on top, facing the front window. I got down after I saw the Les Miserable theatre, headed to Misato to have a relatively-cheap-for-London-standard sashimi bento. It’s my lunch cum dinner at around 4.45pm, and I still can manage to take-away 1/2 the rice & other non-raw items, from my single course. I can’t believe how frugal I can be. Thanks to H.W. for introducing this restaurant to me.

Next, I went to National Gallery – passed the Leicester Square where 1/2 price musical tickets are sold. I want to watch musicals, especially Chicago, but they are so expensive. I don’t mind watching the recordings. Arrived at National Gallery 40 minutes before close, I focused on the 18th to early 20th century paintings and I managed to stare at these famous:
# Venus and Mars by Botticelli.
# Bacchus and Ariadne by Titian (Tiziano).
# Bathers at La Grenouillere by Monet.
# Bathers at Asnieres by Seurat. Asnieres is Paris suburb.
# Sunflowers by Van Gogh. Yellow means hope and friendship. I observed the use of different thickness on paintings, made the paintings very 3D if we look from far.
# Mr and Mrs Andrews by Gainsborough.
# The Stonemason’s Yard by Canaletto. He also painted a paintings where the gondolas of Venice, had comb-like structure at the end.
Yet, I love this painting most The Umbrella by Renoir at room 44, the expressions of the young woman and the little girl are so touching, striking out among the grey umbrelllas. I also like Misia Sert by Renoir (room 43), Renoir is very good in distinguishing the softness of skin and fur of clothes.

In the near future, when I have a chance to visit London, I would like to
# visit Kew garden – possible on Easter.
# take a boat out to Greenwich. DONE.
# visit the National Gallery again.
# Primrose Hill.
# try cycling in London.

Written by blueroselady

February 28, 2009 at 11:30 pm