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Posts Tagged ‘determination

Do not worry if your child(ren) are stubborn / strong-willed. 10 tips to make a positive use of their strong will

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S shared with me an article from ahaparenting.

“Have a strong-willed child?
You’re lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults.
Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious / unaffected to peer pressure. As long as parents resist the impulse to “break their will,” strong-willed kids often become leaders.”
It takes two to have a power struggle. You don’t have to attend every argument to which you’re invited!
If you can take a deep breath when your buttons get pushed, and remind yourself that you can let your child save face and still get what you want, you can learn to sidestep those power struggles.”
Blueroselady : S said this is also applicable to handle a big baby at her home.

It is important to know the difference between MORALITY / INTEGRITY & OBEDIENCE.
MORALITY / INTEGRITY is doing what’s right, no matter what you’re told.
OBEDIENCE is doing what you’re told, no matter what’s right.

1. Avoid power struggles by using ROUTINES and RULES.
2. Your strong-willed child wants MASTERY more than anything.
3. Give your strong-willed child CHOICES / alternatives.
4. Give her AUTHORITY over her own body.
5. Don’t push him into opposing you. Remember that : winning a battle with your child always sets you up to lose what’s most important: the relationship.
6. Side step power struggles by letting your child SAVE FACE.
7. LISTEN to her.
8. See it from his PERSPECTIVE.
9. Discipline through the relationship, never through punishment.
10. Offer him RESPECT and EMPATHY.

Blueroselady strives to treat her children as she wants to be treated (with respect, independence).

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March 15, 2013 at 4:17 am

Rules of Blueroselady for increasing love and productivity in 2013

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I strive to be more loving and productive.

Here are my rules for 2013:
Always PRAY immediately after waking up and plan to do one IMPORTANT (not necessarily urgent) thing daily.
To HAPPILY LIVE and ACHIEVE (instead of achieve 1st then be happy).
To CONTRIBUTE / yield.
When it comes to going after what I love in life, I DO NOT TAKE NO for an answer. NO simply means that I have to try other strategies. DETERMINATION!
@~@ Delete emails not personalized to me, emails that are automatically personalized to me, emails with unimportant information to me.
@~@ DO NOT Talk / write anything that are unlawful, obscene, defamatory, libelous, threatening, pornographic, harassing, hateful, racially or ethnically offensive, or encourages conduct that would be considered a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, violate any law, or is otherwise inappropriate.
@~@ Delete / discard / donate anything that is not USEFUL, BEAUTIFUL or JOYFUL to me.
@~@ Stop posting images / photos to Blueroselady wordpress (because it takes a lot of time). I will write more, share songs / videos by others. I will use other avenues.

Related:
The philosophy of life

Written by blueroselady

January 20, 2013 at 3:39 pm

China Innovators

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This post is based on the book Chinnovation. I also note down my ideas based on the things I read there.

INNOVATION.
Definition: doing the same things in a new way (process) or doing new things (creating a product / service) pxii.

After learning from the West, it is time for me to focus on learning from the East this year.
Wu Po Chi (HKUST) proposed that "the Chinese and the American culture are different.
The Anglo-Saxon thought, business, legal, medical system is based on the Greek system of linearity – very nice and clear separation of right and wrong. The Chinese are very holistic; little good and little bad.

… the functional MRI of a person thinking in Chinese, many more parts of the brain light up.
The Chinese language is more complicated in sound; it is graphical (so it is very good for descriptive purposes). It requires context.

The English language is not nearly so rich but it is precise."
Blueroselady learned (from an English man at the birth town of Shakespeare) that the English language is actually pretty rich by constantly adapting and adopting, as compared to e.g. the French language.

Perhaps, Blueroselady has to let her children learn some graphical languages, e.g. Chinese, Arabic.

What did you do when you hear the news of Michael Jackson’s death?

My office mate suddenly shouted something that I would not write here. No matter what, he is a nice chap who offered me a headset to prevent me from hearing his loud machine.
A China innovator rapidly secured the rights to build a Neverland Ranch in China.

These innovators capitalize on events happening in the world.

QUANTITY
counts.
Do you know that the Chinese Academy of Sciences alone produces ~ 100,000 PhDs / year?
Wuxi Pharma Tech.
Let’s go to visit / invest in Jiangsu.

No wonder that there are so many influx of PhDs from China to the West.

The best businessmen in China are not Shanghainese, but the businessmen of Wenzhou and Hangzhou.
It is neither because of the innate human talent of Wenzhou and Hangzhou is superior nor the probability of succeeding in Hangzhou and Wenzhou is higher.

It is because (1) everyone in Wenzhou and Hangzhou is trying to succeed as an entrepreneur, so the absolute numbers of attempts generate a lot of successes, (2) failure only leaves the option of trying again. Sorry, no comfortable white-collar job.

RELATIONSHIP & HUMILITY matter.
"good relationship with gov officials in China are much more important thin in other countries.
Building a good relationship with gov officials can reduce unnecessary trouble." (p55).

connectedness = renqin (p53).
"Prioritize RELATIONSHIPS over laws." (p56)
"Remember that people with bigger networks tend to do better."

Zou Bo of Senodia (MEMS-based chips producer) shared 2 avenues which he used to establish connections.

1. government.
The gov would introduce many resources.
2. investors.
Investors have many connections with other similar / related establishments. Zou Bo found the investors back in the US and brought them to China.

Old friends / classmates are existing channels (p243).

Lim Sah Soon (Singapore Chinese Chamber of Commerce) advised that in expanding to China, you should gain the good impression of being a modest and trustworthy race of people. Do not make the mistake of treating the Chinese as an inferior or backward race as this would cause the loss of trust, and definitely hurt relations for the future." (p184)

While the advice was meant for foreign players intending to expand into the China market, Blueroselady thinks that we should be modest and treat nobody as an inferior (regardless of race / social / economic background).

Perhaps the notion of inferior raised from the relatively poor quality of "Made in China" products in the past, but today many high quality products were also Made in China, such as my laptop.
Moreover, to many Asians (Chinese, Japanese, Koreans), face matters a lot. Being treated as an inferior cause them to lose face.

RESTRICTIONS.
"Often the best movies were shot under budget constraints so severe that the director had to innovate – and the same principle apply for start-ups" (p15)
This phenomenon reminds me on Uncle RT who was poor in Berkeley yet produced excellent results.

The Chinese / The Zhejiang entrepreneurs are not easily deterred by the politic-economic conditions unfavorable to business formation. (p102).

Beijing is a cultural, political, economic & IT center because the Chinese gov is in control of significant resources. (p24)

5 Ms of Zhejiang entrepreneurs:
markets.
masses.
mobility.
management.
meshing / adapting best practices from other industries.

MARKETs / CUSTOMERs
Listen more to market (shichang), listen less to the governor (shizhang) which can be disguised in the form of generous grants / funding. (p102).

Markets believed by most people to be dead tend to have less competition hence lower cost of doing business. Be courageous to enter such markets (p103).

"Technology innovation should be market driven and not technology driven. We need to cater to consumers, just like why Cisco changed its logo" Zou Bo of Senodia (p245).

Management = innovation + operations (p104).

FOCUS & ELIMINATE distractions.
To focus, people choose to work in Hangzhou than Shanghai even though the typical wage is RMB3,000 vs RMB 6,000. (p104)
A big city like Shanghai has too many distractions!

Picking the right battle to fight is a form of focus.
Sun Tzu once said: "If you try to fight every battle, there is no hope of any victory."
Carefully select where to invest / expend resources (time and money).

How to out-innovate the MNC (multinationals)?
Do not fight the elephant head-on.
You will be crushed.
If you are the nimble mouse hat can find the crevices to exploit, your chances of winning are much higher (p265).

OPPORTUNITIES
problems = opportunities.
the larger the problem, the greater the opportunity. (p37).
"To the trained eyes, innovation opportunities appear frequently in daily life." (p56)

Start SMALL, think BIG.
"Every great fashion enterprise, every outstanding financial institution, every mammoth IT company, and every great invention began in the imagination of some one person." (p80).

GROWTH
A company’s growth is the same as a person’s.

Liu Jiren (Neusoft) explains: "You need something when you are young, then you need other things when you become older.
A company with ideals should have a long-term plan.
You should think about your mature phase when you are young.

But in the process of development, you can’t make every step develop as you expected from a microcosmic angle.

Now, when you look forward to to the company’s future, you will find what made you prosper in the past may become what holds you back in the future.


restructure …." (p252)

DIVERSITY
of experiences leads to critical thinking (p43).

PASSION / love.
Qiu Xuefan (Wenzhou entrepreneur), "Love what you do, because you will have to do a lot of it." (p179)

Blueroselady agrees. It is not only about doing what we love, but also loving what we do. It is bidirectional and must act in sync.

Zhang Gang, the founder of Little Fat Sheep mentioned that "I always wanted to have a basic business, selling something simple that people wanted. Many people grow a company like raising a pig. The pig gets fat; you kill it and make money. I grow my company like raising a son. The average life of a restaurant is less than three years in China. I want Little Sheep to last a century". (p202)

Wow! A brand that lasts a century sounds highly ambitious yet cool! This is what visionary leaders / entrepreneurs / innovators should aim for.
Blueroselady was grateful for enjoying a hot pot with Little Fat Sheep recipe (with friends from China), but thought that it was not for her. She felt very thirsty after the meal and decided NO more. Fortunately for Zhang Gang, not all customers are health conscious and bland preferring as Blueroselady.

DETERMINATION matters.
The 30th US President Calvin Coolidge famously remarked,
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." (p46)

PEOPLE / TALENT / human capital

According to Ray Zhang (eHi), people need to find meaning and significance in the things the company does. They need a common platform, an environment where personal careers and company growth are in sync, with no differences between the two (p259).

Vincent Tai (CEO of RDA Micro) repeatedly said, "The mind is a terrible thing to waste".
He trusts his employees even though they make mistakes.
He would sit down with an employee who had made a mistake, asking why it happened and what lessons the employee has learned. (p85).

A way to attract investors is by becoming a magnet talent e.g. Lee Kaifu or Li Kaifu (p110).
Lee / Li won a loyal following from Chinese students through his numerous coaching books, public speeches, blog posts, and most importantly (Blueroselady thinks) his accomplishment in high tech (Apple, Google, Innovation Works).

I am going to read Li’s old book "Be Your Personal Best" published in 1991, perhaps re-published in 2005.

Be doggedly persistent in attracting talent.
Treat talent as though they are family (p130).

Blueroselady notices that her best friend also treats her mentors as family, thank you!

A random quote that comes to my mind "千里马常有,而伯乐不常有".

Be CONTRARIAN.
If an opportunity is obvious to all, it probably has no profits. (p176).

Experiment with the uncommon for supernormal returns.
Judy Leissner (President, CEO of Grace Vineyard) shared her winning strategy, "Whatever old traditional Chinese wine producers do, we don’t." (p142)

Most old traditional China wine producers spend significantly on advertising and pay restaurants to serve wine, Grace Vineyard does not advertise.
Leissner opened up a wine bar to brand her wine. A wine bar allows 2-way communication.

Instead of restaurants, Grace Vineyard serves Grace Vineyard wine in the best hotels, leading airlines (e.g. Cathay Pacific’s 1st class and business class flights serve Deep Blue of Grace Vineyard).
Grace Vineyard also avoids area where dominant local wineries exist.

Blueroselady thinks that everything popular is not always right.

Some interesting COMPANIES / virtual PLACES with potential useful service to you & me:

Baidu
the leading Chinese-language internet search provider.
Baidu name refers to a line from a Song Dynasty poem, meaning "search for one’s dream". Blueroselady thinks that name matters. name = branding.
founder Robin Li, Eric Xu (a biochemist).

Wukong.com
Search engine that aims to be Baidu’s No. 1 competitor.
Nick Yang.

dianping.com
online crowdsourcing guide, paid search, e-coupons.

restaurant review site.
China version of Yelp.

www.5xue.com.
Lee Kaifu, PhD computer science CMU: machine learning, pattern recognition.

Ctrip.com
Co-founder Neil Shen.
NASDAQ-listed.

Tudou
Gary Wang.
Besides watching Youtube, I want to learn more from Tudou.

QQ
QQ has more active users than Facebook (p13).

Career Album
a social platform for individual careeer development and corporate talent hunting.

founder: Crystal (Yanjing) Yin (Stanford).
Blueroselady thinks that this is a place where you try to put everything together, a LinkedIn combined with deviantArt; but Career Album is still in beta version as of Jan 2013. Blueroselady will not use it for the time being.

Fields that Blueroselady are going to explore:
PROPERTY.
Segments of the Wenzhou population speculate in property to get rich. They buy entire plots of buildings. Speculate based on careful planning (p101).

BIG DATA.
"The realm of technology is constantly striving to encapsulate larger and larger volumes of data in smaller devices" (p255)
To win customers, offer quality, convenience, portability.

Places that Blueroselady wants to visit / TRAVEL to:
Bama, Guangxi. Why? 1 of every 3,400 people is a centenarian. Perhaps, I will arrange visiting both Guilin and Bama in a single trip.

Pingyao, Shanxi. Why? The small town of Pingyao, in Shanxi province flourished as the financial hub of China for 300 years, in spite of poor soil and accessibility.

It was home to 22 banks, collectively controlling more than 50% of the nation’s wealth.
The secret of its success? innovation. Pingyao people ventured out to places such as Mongolia and Russia to trade.
The reason of its subsequent failure? complacency.

Always remember that innovation and reinvention is a continual process.

The Rule of 5: Chicken Soup for the Soul

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So far I have learned 2 things from Jack Canfield, the co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul.
According to Wikipedia (Sep 2012), they are over 100 million copies in print and in 54 languages worldwide.

1. The law of attraction. He wrote 100,000 on a bill note, and put the note on the ceiling of his bedroom so that he could see the wealth everyday.
2. The Rule of 5: every day, Jack does 5 specific things to move his goal to completion, in this case to get Chicken Soup for the Soul to the top of the New York Times Best-Seller list.

Imagine this:
5 new customers a day,
equals 1,825 customers in a year
.

5 pages of writing a day,
equals 7 250-page books in a year
.

Written by blueroselady

September 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Entrepreneur Dong Mingzhu of Gree Electric Appliances

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Sister Dong Mingzhu (董明珠)

In a hot humid day, we will be grateful for air-conditioning.

When I think of air-conditioning, I will remember one of the toughest (难缠) businesswomen in China – Dong Mingzhu.

On motherhood:

I heart her because she was once a young widow,

with the responsibility to raise her son by herself.

Mingzhu once sent her 12-year-old son to the airport alone by bus because she was busy.

Is she too much as a mother?

Well, perhaps her action helped to nurture independence in her son.

On training:

Mingzhu dtudied statistics at a vocational school in Nanjing and toiled at a research institute for 15 years.

She was a technician in a chemistry laboratory in Nanjing.

Then, her husband’s early death changed everything.

对生活依然充满着憧憬 (vision) 和希望 (hope),想出去闯一闯 (try again!)。

On profession:

She WOW me because she has not taken a day off in more than 20 years.

NY Times: "Unlike many of the women who pepper China’s rich lists, Mingzhu did not inherit wealth and had no man beside her and no political connections"

She started as an air-conditioner saleswoman, traveling widely.

The Marketing Queen adopts WIN-WIN approach.

董明珠很简单 (simple),

简单得只要跟她合作的经销商,完全不用挖空心思去考虑双方的利益博弈,

因为她总是把你的利益和她的利益均衡考虑,

任何一方的利益受损失,她都会拒绝合作.

Her expertise:

企业战略 (corporate strategy)

营销策略 (marketing strategy)

销售 (sales)

Likes reading and shawls.

Mingzhu is a symbol of determination.

I want to read her autobiography "Regretless Pursuit" 行棋无悔

(published in 2006).

Her advice:

"You must be a thinker.

Be decisive, have good judgment, organizational ability.

Most importantly, you have to be able to take control."

Sources:

Forbes Asia March 2012

New York Times. Setting the Pace With Toughness.

Baidu

Written by blueroselady

April 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Leader: Nelson Mandela

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When and where did I first learn about Nelson?
when I was a primary school kid.
International news.
I love to watch the international news more than domestic news, perhaps the “international” reflects my adventurous spirits.
I have always been curious about the world out there, the exotic places, the wonderful people of our planet, and the extraordinary human endeavors.
Having no money to go travel, I traveled in my mind through brochures of beautiful destinations.
I love a brochure on South Africa so much, with pictures of many animals like girrafes with elegant long neck, the fierce lions, and the wildness of Africa.
Then, I got curious about the people.

In my primary school days, I had no pocket money, but somehow I managed to buy a biography of tata Nelson.

When I first learned that this hero of mine had been imprisoned for 27 years, which is ~3x of the length of my living days at that time, I kept on thinking about it. I imagined if I were in Nelson’s shoes, could I have the 1/3 of his determination and dream?

When Nelson was just released, a reporter asked him,
“How do you feel having waited for 27 years for this moment?”

Nelson replied, “I did not wait, I prepared”.

Although Nelson had been lock physically, nobody cannot lock him mentally.

In February 2012, I attended a talk in which Nelson was mentioned.
Then, I realized that the perseverance of Nelson (and other inspirational people) had subconsciously been imbibed in my soul.

Thank you Nelson! I want so much to hug you as if you were my grandfather.

Looking back of my life, much of what I have achieved today can be attributed to perseverance. My life is still long and I want to be more determined in my worthy undertakings.

Below are random new things that I learn about Nelson.

What is the Elders?
“This group can speak freely and boldly, working both publicly and behind the scenes on whatever actions need to be taken,” Mandela commented. “Together we will work to support courage where there is fear, foster agreement where there is conflict, and inspire hope where there is despair.”

“I stand here before you not as a prophet but as A HUMBLE SERVANT of you, the people. Your tireless and heroic sacrifices have made it possible for me to be here today. I therefore place the remaining years of my life in your hands.”
Speech on the day of his release, Cape Town (11 February 1990)

Written by blueroselady

February 19, 2012 at 12:19 am