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Posts Tagged ‘competition

How to use the real estate concept of Joint Tenancy & Tenancy-in-Common to explain your love to your children?

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Recently, I use the concepts of Joint Tenancy and Tenancy-in-Common to help Annie makes peace with her childhood.

About Annie:
She was the eldest in the family.
In her childhood,
she sometimes happily shared her (relatively little) toys with her younger siblings.

Sometimes her younger sister would forcefully took it away from her
and their parents always seemed siding her sister’s.

In her teenage years,
regardless of Annie’s good academic results,
Her father told Annie that he had money to send her to a university,

but he generously supported the tertiary education (including post-graduate) of her younger sister and brother.

After many challenging years,
Annie eventually managed to complete her tertiary education well (without her father paying for her college fee),

secured a well paying job,
and get married.

She has been understanding that the economic situation of the family was different before and then.
However, she subconsciously harbors an anger to her father,

and she only realized it through an incident where her father forced her to surrender her hat to her sister.
Looking back,
she laughed at it,
it was like a little girls fighting for a toy.
Annie was gracious enough to buy extra hat for her sister,

but she was hurt by her father’s action.

Annie has always worked hard to be successful in all her endeavors of life.
From her stellar academic performance to her high commitment for her career,
she is a role model for her sister and brother.

However, her life is not easy.
Looking for an outsider’s perspective,
her life seems the toughest one among her siblings,
because she had and has to fight alone much earlier than her siblings.

Being raised in a traditional Eastern family,

Annie has been instilled with the concept of filial piety since early days of her life.
Her rules include:
"It is wrong for children to be angry to their father."
"Being angry to your parents is unfilial."

While her rules create a filial child for her parents, but it is not healthy to her.

What Annie can do now include:

Acknowledge her feeling of angry.
Anger helps us to assert our rights.
It is OK to be angry as long as one does neither suppress nor express it*.

It is OK to be angry for a short period of time. After all, our time on earth is too short to be wasted on things that we can do nothing about (e.g. those happened in the past).

Expressing anger only creates a vicious cycle.

Nobody likes angry man / woman.
In short,
suppressing anger hurts yourself.
expressing anger hurts others.

her parents (and her siblings).
According the Florence Scovel Shinn, the law forgiveness can overcome the law of cause & effect.

Perhaps (in her speculation), in her past life, Annie had been unfair to her own children.
Her father was also perhaps a victim of his mother.
Louise Hay said, "We are all victims of victims".
Forgiveness allows you to release you from the past unhappiness.

Do not let your unhappy past determines your presence.

Affirm herself positively.
In a children book by Louise Hay and Kristina Tracy, af-fir-ma-tion is defined as words that you think or say, and believe to be true.

Examples of good affirmations:
Those who hurt you in the past can no longer hurt you now.
I am a worthy individual because of who I am, not because of what I am capable of achieving and earning.
I do not need the approval of others (including Dad’s approval) for me to feel worthy.

I seek no approval of other people.

How is about setting boundaries?
Annie shared with me that she feels better with less interactions with her father.
As long as she knows that her father is healthy,
she is contented.

Honestly, I am still trying to figure out if this is the a good strategy for her.
After all,
no single approach works for everyone.

From Annie’s life story,
I learn the importance of explaining our undivided share of love to each of our children.

According to Lucy Beresford in her book Happy Relationships at Home, Work & Play,
your 1st child may feel ‘dethroned’ with the arrival of his younger sibling.

It is important to let your first child understand that

your Love is infinite.
Your love to each of your children is whole of what you are capable of loving.
This is like Joint Tenancy,
in which 2 or more owners are seen as ONE entity.

But attention & time are definite.

The more children a family have,
the smaller (but ideally equal) share (of attention & time) that each of the children receive.
This is like Tenancy-in-Common,
in which for equal share of ownership,
the increase in the number of owners,

will reduce the percentage of share of each owner.

However, unequal share is also possible in the co-ownership by Tenancy-in-Common.
The same goes for family,
although parents try to be fair,
and say that they are doing their best to be fair,

human beings are biased.

That’s why parental’s favoritism ^ exists .
This sounds unfair!
However, living means learning to endure injustice (when you cannot fight it) and fight for justice that matters.

^ Parental’s favoritism may exists because of e.g. a father / a mother may favor a child (over another) because the child is more similar to him / her in look / characters / personalities (e.g. personality clash).

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Written by blueroselady

July 31, 2013 at 1:29 pm

Computer languages are likely to be the linguistic skills that make you outstanding

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This post was post-dated. I thought of this a day after the birthday of a woman I love and care. Although she is very serious, she can be very funny. Since she does not know English, and her children are all overseas pursuing better lives, so she has to start making overseas trip to see her children, especially when they need her.

There was a funny incident that made me laugh until stomachache.

Once, in a rush upon returning from hospital upon the arrival of her first grandchild, she thought that the free sample of Tollyjoy liquid wash for bottles, was meant for baby bath, simply because she does not understand English. So, she let her grandchild to bath with liquid was for bottles! Her daughter was over exhausted from delivery to early discover it until she saw why such a bottle was placed in the bathroom.

Even the father of the baby does not know this, I am the privileged one to be shared such a story. In future, as a potential mentor / consultant to the baby, I may tell her grandchild this story when the child refuses to learn something.

In Asia, if you know English, you can secure a good job (i.e. one with higher salary than average job).

Asians in English speaking cities in Asia (e.g. Hong Kong, Singapore) enjoy higher income (though it comes with higher expenditure as well), more choices in employment.

People in India also benefit from the global companies that take advantage of geo-arbitraging.
Though these outsourced employees earn less that employees in US, yet they earn more than people in India.

Not many Asians know English well, although the number is increasing. More Asian parents in China are sending their children to English speaking countries (US, UK, Australia). These generations of Asians are well versed in their mother tongues as well as the international language — English. Some of the ambitious ones even speak the third, the forth languages. A personal encounter was the high school age Korean girl who sat next to me on a flight to Canada. She speaks : Korean, English, Chinese, Japanese.

I am so thankful that by chance and choice, I have the opportunities to learn English. I am still learning everyday through reading and writing.

In my humble prediction, since more and more Asians are mastering English, a good command of English alone will no longer differentiate a talent.

The Pareto Law applies. When less people speak English, you are a rare talent. When more people speak English, you need to have additional skills to differentiate yourself.

One need additional language skills. Instead of another language, e.g. Chinese Mandarin (I think it is important too, but the Chinese are eagerly learning English) and Spanish, one can and must focus on computer languages.

Simply put, for the 21st century,
computer languages = English for people in non-English speaking countries in the 20th century.

Oh my goodness, my command of computer languages is far from acceptable.
After my project L in the 1st half of 2013,
it is time for me to improve my computer languages.

Written by blueroselady

February 24, 2013 at 10:24 pm

NYC Business Plan Competition for International Students

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The Competition provides students and recent alumni of non-U.S. schools the unique opportunity to access substantial funding and support to implement their business ideas in New York City. In addition to funding prospects, the contestants will gain valuable experience interacting with leaders from top venture capitalist firms and businesses in New York City, as well as the opportunities to tour the City and learn about its robust business and entrepreneurship community.

We are inviting teams of 2-5 participants to submit business plans for ideas that may be commercially viable in New York City. Six teams of finalists (three from the undergraduate track and three from the graduate track) will win a six-day, all-expenses-paid trip to New York City in April 2011 to participate in the final round of the Competition, which will be hosted at Columbia University.

More information on the Competition can be found on at the NYCEDC website

Written by blueroselady

July 28, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Asia Challenge 2020 Essay Prize

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What is the most important challenge facing Asia over the next decade? Why? What should be done about it?

The best answer in 3000 words or less will win a prize of S$2,500. Two runners up S$1,000 each. These 3 prize winners will be invited to Singapore for an expenses-paid awards ceremony. The winning articles will be posted on

Eligibility: Asian national. max 32 years by Dec 31, 2010.
Deadline: Aug 31, 2010.
More info, see

Written by blueroselady

July 6, 2010 at 12:47 am

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Commonwealth Vision Awards, Commonwealth Photographic Awards

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Deadline: 1st July 2010
Prize: GBP 1,000 each for 2 winners.

For mor information see:

Would you like to receive up to £1,000 to produce a film? Would you like to see your film broadcast internationally and receive wide-spread recognition? Would you like to to win prize money of up to £2000? Would you like the chance to meet famous filmmakers from Commonwealth countries?

The Commonwealth Vision Awards promote excellence in filmmaking. Open to actual and prospective filmmakers from within the Commonwealth under the age of 30, the Vision Awards challenge filmmakers to make a short film, under 3 minutes long, on a developmental theme.

All shortlisted films receive widespread publicity and recognition across the Commonwealth through special events, screenings, film festivals and broadcasting of the award-winning entries on television stations. Full attribution is given to the filmmakers.

The theme in 2010 will be Science, Technology and Society.

Written by blueroselady

May 30, 2010 at 2:18 pm

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IMUSE (Initiating Mutual Understanding through Student Exchange) Fellowship 2010

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Why you should take part?
1. IMUSE will facilitate tours to sites of cultural interest as well as major businesses and government offices within the city.
2. All necessary living expenses paid for, including accommodations, food, ground transportation, and $500 toward transportation to and from Beijing. Blueroselady: If you are flying from the States, you got to fork out some $, but this fellowships is very GENEROUS.
3. Probably a lifelong friendship from a two-week fellowship.

What should you contribute?
1. Write a blog to share your IMUSE experience.

IMUSE 2009 Beijing Summer Fellowship
“30 outstanding students from Chinese and American colleges and graduate schools attended IMUSE 2009 from August 9 to August 21, 2009 to share their opinions, experience Chinese culture, and learn from one another. During the fellowship, Chinese and American delegates will participate alongside one another in a variety of activities designed to be both academically and personally enriching. Delegates will participate in panel discussion events with a student audience, where they will discuss the pertinent issues facing Chinese-American relations today. They will interact with and learn from distinguished guest speakers, which in past IMUSE events have included distinguished academics and celebrities from both America and China. As IMUSE is strongly committed to improving the quality of life for individuals in both countries, the fellowship will include a short period of public service within an underprivileged community. Other activities and workshops will cover a variety of topics from politics to pop culture to food. All events will be carried out in English, and no knowledge of Chinese is necessary.”

For more information:

Written by blueroselady

March 1, 2010 at 12:39 pm


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@~@ When I was a kid, I collected stickers and stamps.
@~@ After I went overseas for the first time, I started to collect cards (birthday, new year, etc). I am still collecting cards and stamps now.
@~@ When I went to live in UK, I started to send Mum postcards from every country that I visited for the first time.
@~@ Besides, I also collected travel brochures. Now, I only keep those that I wrote on them, e.g. rides ticked on theme park map.
@~@ I also collected phone cards, pins (not that much). Now, I acquired less phone cards, but more credit cards.

Re-remember these blessings:
@~@ Recently, I read a newspaper article in which the author described her first sight on polar beat at Copenhagen zoo. I asked myself why I did not go to the zoo while in Copenhagen almost two years ago. I just remembered from a park map in my drawer at my parents’ home that Mum and I have seen polar bear at the Sea World, Gold Coast, Australia. Now, I want to see panda!
@~@ I have attended a talk by Bill Gates in 2005.
@~@ We (MX, EY,SL, and I) had a generously-treated banquet at Nirwana Ballroom, Mutiara Hotel.

Written by blueroselady

February 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm

Posted in family, travel

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