Blueroselady's Weblog

I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

Posts Tagged ‘choice

How to do God's plan in the right dose?

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In a beautiful Sunday noon in the late summer 2012, the homely was about the pharisees focusing more on upholding the laws of ensuring cleanliness before eating rather than following God’s plan.
But what really matters is inside a man instead of outside of him.
Evil comes from inside of men, instead of outside.
That’s why we have to be careful when we talk, not to talk evil (e.g. things that hurt others).

How do we know what God’s plans are?
To illustrate, a father loves his son so much and allowed him to play computer games. Consequently, the son has poor eating habit and poor social skills.
A fresh graduate wants to go to a foreign land to serve as a volunteer yet neglecting a retired mother (without income) alone at home.
A priest helped a family with a 4-year old son by buying them groceries, but the father is so arrogant that he was unable to keep his new job for more than 2 weeks (after a long period of unemployment). The father also threatened the priest to give the family money. This is an example of over helping.

Over helping can ruin the life of people we care and love.
Yet, too little helping is also going against God’s plan.
So, how do we know what the right dose is?
The act of balancing is challenging, but not impossible.

Written by blueroselady

October 7, 2012 at 12:55 am

Posted in choice, God

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Thiel Fellowship allows you to bypass top schools to pursue big dreams

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Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you can imag(in)e it. — George Lucas

If you are so smart, why are you not rich?
If you are so smart, why are you not changing / saving the world?

About Thiel Fellowship
$50,000 / year for 2 years ($4,167 / month)
gives you easy and quick access to the most successful business people in America
aim: to skip college and focus on work, research, and self-education (LEARN BY DOING)
mentors: network of visionary thinkers, investors, scientists, and entrepreneurs, who provide guidance and business connections that can’t be replicated in any classroom.
founded by a VC Peter Thiel (PayPal, Facebook)

Examples of descriptions of the Thiel Fellows:
On experience
"leave Harvard after a single semester and extend his horizons, first by traveling around the world and climbing Kilimanjaro, and now through his start-up"
"has lived and been educated in England, Singapore, France, and the USA."
"began taking college courses at Worcester State in Massachusetts in 3rd grade, and received a certificate in computer science by the time he was 12."
"taught himself programming at the age of 9"
"a home-schooled prodigy who learned calculus at 11, started working in a biogerontology lab when she was 12, matriculated at MIT when she was 14, and now at 17 plans on disrupting the current research paradigm by changing the incentives embedded in today’s traditional funding structures."
"started doing research in a pathology lab when he was 10. By the time he was 12, he had matriculated at the University of Washington. Soon after, he graduated with honors degrees in neurobiology, biochemistry, and chemistry. He was a 19-year-old 4th-year neuroscience Ph.D. candidate at Stanford University when he left early this year to pursue his start-up"
"has worked for Microsoft, Stanford, and Mozilla"
"Has previously worked at iRobot’s Research Group and as a Program Manager at Microsoft."
"In his teens, he built products for companies such as Coca-Cola and Universal Music"
"has designed web interfaces used by millions of people around the world"
"has previously worked for D.E. Shaw & Co., several social enterprises, and a few start-ups"
"founded a vacation rental portal as a high school freshman"
"starting his first business when nine years old"
"co-founded the Electric Vehicle Club at Purdue and was president of Purdue Innovations, the university’s entrepreneurship club."
"began developing her social enterprise when she was 15"
"first worked in a lab when he was 11, interned at Dupont as a teenager, and won the grand prize at the 2009 International Sustainable World Energy Olympiad in Houston."
"run non-profit dedicated to helping the vision-impaired around the world"

On goals / aims
"aims to radically improve our approach to the one thing we all do – shop." / "e-commerce start-up that will revolutionize price comparison on the web" Keyword: radical
"passionate about equipping people with the information to make better decisions." Keyword: information, decision
"interested in helping people protect the wealth they create from the harmful effects of inflation" Keyword: protect
"to help emancipate information around the world" Keyword: information
"to decentralize banking in the developing world with a mobile payment system"
"to create and share online lessons designed to be viewed at home by their own students, leaving class time free for more engaging activities"
"to revolutionize how we develop and demonstrate talent in the twenty-first century."
"to leverage web-based videos and mobile apps to bring the classroom into the twenty-first century"
"to build efficient motor for electric vehicles." Keyword: energy
"to commercialize an invention that enables low cost dual-axis photovoltaic module tracking" Keyword: energy
"to invent a walker-wheelchair hybrid that can provide power to assist its user according to how strong she feels at any moment" Keyword: aging, physically-disabled
"to extract valuable minerals from asteroids, comets, and other planetary bodies" Keyword: resource

Blueroselady thinks that they are very impressive and inspiring. How many people, before reaching 20 years old, have done so much and dreamed do big like them?
The people whom you have worked for also matter.

Reflections by Blueroselady:
Those on Thiel Fellowship seem to have a head start in their childhood (e.g. well educated parents, attendance of high schools that teach akin to college / attendance of college – so why would they still want to attend college again), but many children from less privileged backgrounds will find a college education still essential and enlightening.
Personally, I have met people of the possibly equal calibre to the Thiel Fellows, they started businesses / attended university / led beyond school organizations at early teen, while most teens are worried about growing up, peers, relationships, and juggling schools. The formers are ambitious, lucky, talented, hardworking ((they have built their CVs while other kids probably do not know what CVs are for), and most importantly have the right nurturing environment.
To illustrate this point, I shared my own example. When I was 12 years old, I found that the school was boring. My teacher suffered from diabetes and she was often absent. I could read the textbooks on my own. I told my mother that I did not want to go to school. I was happier reading newspapers and books.
When I was 13 years old, I found that some my school (male) teachers are irresponsible. They taught students bad words, touched female students’ hands / arms (and please do not ask me what else). If my parents had to pay for the school fee, I would probably quit schooling. To make matters worse, some of my school mates went astray. Girls were so cruel with words, I was helpless seeing them bullying a not-pretty girl sitting in front of me. My school mates were more interested in gossips (about seniors, juniors, peers, celebrities), hanging out wasting their lives, than in learning. Few years later after I left the school, I heard about a school mate who died from drug overdose, a school mate who got pregnant in early teen and turned into less beautiful (premature aging) than she was, a school mate who died in motorbike accident.
Then, a macro event happened that changed my life forever. I went overseas for the first time and attended much better schools (in term of quality). I learned about things that were forbidden / not taught before and revolutionized my thinking. I changed for the better, I unleashed my inner characters of hardworking, perseverance, and humility. Like entrepreneurs who focus on generating profits, I had clear focus: I was determined to earn the money required for college education through excellent results because my parents would not be able to support me after high school. My hard work and perseverance paid off, I received my college education (in 3 continents, East and West) with full scholarships. Every stage is like climbing to a higher ladder, I meet people who are more talented, creative, diverse than ever (many of them have better a head start childhood than me), and college education allowed me to learn from them. It is true that the higher you move to, the more you can see, understand, and do. As a result, I evolve into what I am today. At the end of my formal college education, I read analytically, write convincingly, think from multiple perspectives, converse fluently in multiple languages (I can mimic American, British, French, Indian, mainland Chinese accents), had traveled to more countries than the years of my lives, understand myself better, and most importantly have germinated the strongest urge (that I have ever had) to better our world.

From another point of view, colleges worldwide are getting very expensive. Students take loans, enjoy their college experience (sadly some focus on hanging out with friends, buying the latest gadgets), and postpone their sufferings of having to pay their loans while working and struggling to meet an end meet after the honeymoon period of college days. This sounds to me like an upcoming education bubble, which is akin to the housing bubble. To make it worse, colleges seem to mass produce workers (who are happy with the good enough), and to produce (in much less proportion) thinkers, innovators, agents of change. The latter are those that refuse to be entirely submissive and driven to the system. Colleagues and acquaintances are complaining to me about the drop in the standard of recent college graduates.

Nothing remains the same because lives are dynamics. My future generations will do things differently from what I did. If they are academically inclined, they can start learning the college materials (through online courses or immersion in labs) at early teen. If they are artistically inclined / entrepreneurial in nature, they can start interning at early teen. I still view traveling as essential, I learned a lot about independence, responsibilities, management, self-control, and survival while traveling and living in foreign countries far from my family. I made strangers my friends and family. I appreciate the values of every place and person. Get more exposure, discover more, and you will discover what your destiny is.

What’s next?
I will be reviewing my plan on progeny.
To research on things kids need (to learn) to be successful in their lives.
To research on homeschooling curriculum (what are not taught in school).

More about the Thiel Fellowship:
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/05/25/finding-the-next-mark-zuckerberg/
http://www.creators.com/opinion/john-stossel/the-college-scam-11-07-06.html
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jmaureenhenderson/2011/06/20/meet-the-teen-who-got-paid-100-000-to-drop-out-of-school/
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203960804577239253121093694.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
http://www.businessweek.com/interactive_reports/bs_collegeROI_0621.html

How to manage disappointment and anger?

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The 1st Tuesday of Oct 2012 was a day when Blueroselady felt angry. She is rarely angre for most time.

She woke up very early to meet her boss, only to be told 10 minutes prior to the meeting that the meeting was going to be postponed.

With a thick face, she had to fight for a seat in the crowded public transport.

She had to share credits for a project with someone who contributed none.

She had to buy an iPhone 5 with contract for someone because his parents asked for help. Givent that the parents are semi retiree who live frugally, Blueroselady is disappointed that the son who just started college is going to pay a monthly bill that can pays for Blueroselady’s 3 month expenditure on mobile phone bill.

Looking back now, they all are trivial matters.

Often, when we are disappointed and angry, we are overwhelmed by the emotion that prevents us from thinking rationally. If this happens, how can we better manage our disappointment and anger?

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Chinese proverb

Here are the strategies:

When you are angry, avoid reacting immediately (e.g. speaking, arguing, confronting, shouting), unless there are immediate dangers. Calm our minds and organize our thoughts 1st, so that we do not end up hurting / making others angry, and hence continuing the viscious cycle.

Siberian North Rail Road for Stop, Notice, Reflect and Respond.
Stop to take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath can really calm our minds.
Reflect why you are angry from a 3rd person perspective (neither victim nor offender).
Respond. You always have control / choice in how you are going to respond. Be the master of your emotion, instead of letting your emotion winning over you.

Love yourself. Make this top priority. Because you love yourself, you cherish your health, and you can command your mind to tell your feeling: ok, enough of anger.

Sufficient rest / sleep. Our health deserves the best care. This is part of loving ourselves.

Master the art of endurance. The character for ren in Chinese consists of a knife on top of a heart. Yes, it is painful to have a knife cutting our heart, but the result is endurance, resilience, and perseverance.

Learn a lesson. There are always things to be learned from every situation. There are things worth fighting, there are things that are better left (e.g. rude salespeople / customer services).

See the big picture in space and time. Ask yourself, will things / people that cause your anger matter in X amount of time (e.g. 1 year, 5 years time)? You may not bump into the person again. You may have moved to better places / positions. CNC told me that the best revenge is not revenge but by achieving success.

Visualize them as a little baby / child. It is hard to be angry at little children. This technique was learned from a kind lady LH.

Think of our role models. What are our role models going to do in such situation? Bring the matters to our daily counselor meeting, ask for their opinions.

Detach ourselves. We can care / love others, but we have to be detached from our care / love. In Blueroselady’s example, the character and spending habit of the son causes her pain (hence disappointment and anger) because she cares about the family. She can continue to care, give her best advices, but separate her feeling from the outcome of her efforts. How? by having low or no expectations.

Lower / have no expectations. Accept things and other people as they are. It is hard to change other people. Instead of wasting time to change others, it is better to improve ourselves.

See also the philosophy of life.

Written by blueroselady

October 5, 2012 at 8:17 am

Resolutions for autumn 2012

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Blueroselady strives to …

accept that she cannot please everyone.
appreciate the beauty of the world (food, nature, arts, children).
ask "How can I?" instead of "Can I".
ask for help when needing help.
blame nobody.
commit to a greater-than-self purpose.
count our blessings.
declutter life.
eat healthily, minimize junk food.
enjoy people and use things, instead of the other way round.
exercise regularly.
know how to say No.
love and accept myself completely.
overcome fear.
praise more, criticize and complain less.
pray with gratitude every morning and night.
prioritize important over urgent things.
release (do not worry about) other people opinion (about Blueroselady).
respect different views.
see life as an opportunity to collaborate and create / add / multiply vlaues, instead of a 0-sum competition.
sleep well and sufficiently.
socialize with positive people (reading, networking).
spend some time alone to think and reflect.
use gentle, kind, encouraging words instead of threats to get people to do what I want them to.

Written by blueroselady

September 22, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Posted in inspiration

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How to play the game of life?

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In the 3rd weekdays of September 2012, I finished reading a classic entitled "The game of life and how to play it" written by Florence Scovel Shinn which was published in 1925, that was 87 years ago!
Due to different era of writing, honestly I do not understand every detail that she wrote, but I am so grateful that I grasp the most important essences.

Every game has rules:
Forgiveness law*. Quickly apply this law when you are erred / angry / disappointed.
Karma / cause-and-effect law. Reading horoscopes / bazi (八字) deals only with the cause-and-effect law, but a very strong mind can neutralize a prophecy of evil. For example, a horoscope reader once told my mother that she will live until 65. I do not believe it. Knowing how positive my mother is in her thought (she survived and overcame disasters and deaths calmly), I believe that she will live a much longer life with her healthy mind and body. God, I pray to you to take care the woman I love most.
Expectancy law*
Gratitude / appreciation law*
Divine protection law*. This law is useful to deal with the fear of forgetfulness. I cannot lose anything that belong to me. Anything lost, will be returned, or I will receive its equivalent.
Prosperity law*
Substitution law

Our thoughts significantly affect our lives.
What we imagine, sooner or later externalize.
Therefore, I strive to always think positive.
Sometimes, when you read self-help book, you will find some negative examples.

But the good news is positive thoughts and affirmations are many times more powerful than negative thoughts.
If you realize that you are thinking something negatively, quickly replace them with positive thoughts / affirmations / explanations.

By understanding the game of life, we enjoy love, happiness, health, prosperity / wealth, and self-actualization / self-expression.
Believe that each of us has the power to bless, heal, and prosper.

According to Florence, we have
1. conscious mind
2. subconscious mind / soul
3. superconscious mind / spirit

Notes to apply in life (based on the book and Blueroselady’s interpretations):
To use my conscious mind to reject negative thoughts / beliefs / opinions but to promote positive thoughts.

Our conscious mind can be the best FILTER we have to select thoughts and ideas that BLESS, HEAL, INSPIRE, and FILL our soul with JOY.
The subsconscious mind does not understand humors, so please do not say / joke about negative things. The same advice was also given by Joseph Murphy in his 1963 book: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind.

The forgiveness law is stronger than the cause-and-effect law. Always seek forgiveness for our mistakes and forgive others.
To talk about only what we want, not what we do not want. To say words that heal, bless, or prosper. Do not complain, criticize, or gossip. What man condemns in others, he attracts to himself.

Say thanks for our blessings (gratitude / appreciation law) when we wake up and before we sleep.
To be prosperous, we must be orderly (e.g. then our finances can be in order). De-clutter our lives.
Give (gifts, tithe) with love and cheerfulness. Give without expecting returns / gratitude from others; but receive my gifts with happiness and gratitude (if one does not accept the returns of his kindness, one violates law for all gifts are from God and people are merely the channel). Do not think that the giver will suffer a lack as a result of giving to us, because we are giving the giver an opportunity to do an act of kindness.

How to impress our subconscious mind?
1. active faith. Faith = an effort of will.
2. music
3. making-believe (like little children)

Why is the forgiveness law is stronger than the cause-and-effect law?

1. God has redeemed us from the karma law.
2. The God within us is our Redeemer and Savior.
3. If our past wrong cannot be righted, its effect can be neutralized by doing an act of kindness in the present.

Why is it important to say thanks for our blessings when we wake up and before we sleep?
1. Man often suffers loss through lack of appreciation. For example, a man who says he does not care about his marriage (to a nice wife) ends up losing his wife because his subconscious mind works to get him unmarried. Do not be indifferent / critical / unispiring to your partner, because this means you do not appreciate / are note grateful for your partner.

2. Being grateful allows me to be in equilibrium / HARMONY with my desire, hope, and ambitions.

On the importance of the HARMONY:
We must be in harmony with a thing in order to attract it.

2 attitudes of mind cause loss:
1. lack of appreciation / gratitude. For example, a man who does not appreciate his wife and losing her.
2. fear of loss. This fear makes a picture of loss in the subconscious.

INTUITION
intuition = to be taught from within.

Ask, and it shall be given you,
seek, and ye shall find,
knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
(Mat 7:7)

A real simple example of this Bible phrase is when I find a seat on crowded trains for most of the time.
I always go to the platform with less people (applying the SEEK).
While waiting for the train to come, I pray that there will be a seat for me (expectancy law).

Sometimes, there will be an empty seat for me because someone just get down when I board the train.
Sometimes, a kind person gives his / her seat for me. I try my best to thank the person twice, when I sit down and when I leave the train (gratitude law). I do not think that I am depriving the person a seat because I am giving an opportunity for the person to do an act of kindness. Moreover, not many people bother to thank others twice. In doing so, I hope that I can encourage more kindness.

Sometimes, people will just continue reading newspapers / playing with their IT gadgets / returning to sleep (in the seat reserved for pregnant women!), even though they may see my pregnant tummy. This can be challenging when I am tired / dizzy, yet I tell myself to practice the forgiveness law. These people may also be tired from working whole day.

I pray that an empty seat will become available by the next station.
Because I cannot move fast, someone may arrive at that desired seat faster than me.
In this case (applying the ASK), I say "sorry, can you please let me sit? Thank you".

Most time people will give the seat to me.
Of course the person can say No, but I believe that I will be safe throughout my journey (divine protection law).

Ask with faith (believing).
Desire without worry.

Act as if I have already received (prosperity, health, happiness).

We can control any situation if we can control ourselves.
When one loses his temper, he loses his power.

No man can fail, if a person sees him successful.

Therefore, we often hear the saying, behind every successful man, there is a woman (his wife).
Behind successful Blueroselady, there is a man who believes in Blueroselady’s ability to succeed.
The same thing goes when we see (visualize) our parents, children, siblings, friends, proteges successful, then they cannot fail.

Parents, do not over worry about your children.
Why?
Children are sensitive and receptive to the thoughts of others around them, especially their parents.
When parents / grandparents over worry about their children, the little ones attract illnesses / accidents.

Instead, as a mother, I sincerely affirm that I puts my child in God’s hands and he is divinely protected (divine protection law).

Parents should never force careers and professions upon their children.
Let the God in the child has perfect expression.

Suppose you have several talents, how do you know which one to choose?
Affirm: Dear God, please give me a definite lead, reveal to me my perfect self-expression, show me which talent I am to make use now.

Fear less.
Why?
Man attracts what he fears.
See the tips on how to overcome fear.

An old saying:
No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.

Positive affirmations (to say daily):
God is love.
God is supply.
God is my unfailing supply, and large sums of money come to me quickly in perfect ways.
I puts my child in God’s hands and he is divinely protected (divine protection law).

As 1 door shuts, another door opens.
Dear God, please give me a definite lead, reveal to me my perfect self-expression, show me which talent I am to make use now.
I have a wonderful work (business), in a wonderful way, I give wonderful service, for wonderful pay (income).

More positive affirmations are here.

Written by blueroselady

September 22, 2012 at 6:25 am

Life skills for success

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From May Lee, TV journalist and talk show host.

She is a Korean American.
She claimed that an Asian child never forgets RESPECT, HARD WORK, DISCIPLINE.
I found that her writing tone is authoritative, direct, yet truthful.

“I was doing an interview, some men started making racist comments. I confronted them angrily, saying the world had enough racists, so they should think twice before opening their mouths. They fell silent”.
May Lee feels strongly about standing up for JUSTICE even if it means putting herself at risk.

Use your connection, to gain access to RIGHT people.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. Her 10-day diving holiday with no communication seemed 1st disastrous to her career but turned out to be a blessing.

You can win over people with TRUST and RESPECT.
May Lee said her biggest scoop at Oxygen Media was Monica Lewinsky.

Get the job done (even if your colleagues are irresponsible).

Push yourself to LEARN new skills. You will thank yourself later.

I love her list of things to give up to be happy.
1. no need to always be right. Blueroselady believes that it is more important to be kind than being right.
2. no need for control.
3. no need to blame others. This way, Blueroselady does not give her power away.
4. eliminate limiting beliefs.
5. no need to complain. Blueroselady is a habitual optimistic who always think positively day and night.
6. no need to criticize (things / events / people).
7. no need to impress others.
8. no need to resist change. Blueroselady embraces change.
9. no fear. See Blueroselady’s tips on how to overcome fear.
10. no excuses.
11. no living my life to other people’s expectations. Blueroselady responds to her inner calling.
May Lee said “You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.”

MORE
www.mayleeway.com
www.mayleeasia.blogspot.com
“May Lee Live and In Person” published by John Wiley and Sons.

Written by blueroselady

June 1, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Why am I taking risks?

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1. Risk taking leads to wealth and strong GDP growth / capita.
2. Risk = measurable uncertainty (economist Frank Knight).
3. I grew up in a risky environment. We survived through countless calculated risk-taking.

Things to be aware of:
1. some regulatory environment can leave little room for entrepreneurial risk-taking.
2. The more social security provides a safety net, the less one has o think about the future. Blueroselady, please do not give too much security to your progenies!
3. rich people will use $ to buy time; poor people will use time to save $.
4. Andrew Carnegie: 80% of all millionaires made it through real estates.
5. When you get promoted, do your responsibilities get heavier? YES. Does your salary double?

Written by blueroselady

May 25, 2012 at 8:35 am