Blueroselady's Weblog

I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

Search Results

On defining, dreamlining, doing, being, and having

leave a comment »

I am a BIG dreamer.
I have many dreams.

I am very grateful that I have achieved many of my dreams, from receiving free education in top universities, flying an airplane, to sponsoring my parents for their trip to UK.

Recently, I learned about dreamlining from Tim.
Dreamlining = DREAMs + timeLINEs
It means applying timeLINEs (e.g. 6 months, 1 year) to what most people would consider DREAMs.

In autumn 2012,

Things I dream of HAVING :
happy, healthy and independent children (by 2016)
profitable property (by 2015)
freehold property in the city area (by 2019)

Things I dream of BEING :
entrepreneur (by 2014)
millionaire (by 2019)
author of a New York Times bestselling book (by 2014)

Things I dream of DOING :
increase my income (by 2014), see the target in my pink board
achieve financial freedom and abundance (by 2019)
donate 80% of what I have for charity and live comfortably with the remaining 20% (by 2019)
visit Iceland / Antarctica (by 2014) and see aurora borealis

Tips:
1. If you do not know what you want,
brainstorm on what you do not want / what you hate / fear,
and write down the opposite.
2. convert BEING into DOING (actionable).

See also my bucket list, focusing on a happy and fruitful life beyond a century.

A thought on definition / meaning
Tim Ferriss wrote on p58 of his book The 4-hour workweek that being fluent in Chinese means having a 5-minute conversation with a Chinese co-worker.
In my opinion, one does not qualify to state (e.g. in one’s CV) a fluency in a particular language by merely being able to talk for 5 minutes.
This comes to my awareness that definition / meaning varies among people. I do not blame people, but I am aware that it is natural for human beings to put their PERCEIVED truth in the best light.
Recent complaints by friends (WT, SH) about students and fresh graduates who have good paper qualifications, but end up not as productive / talented as expected, are indeed related to the concept of varying meaning.
Next time when I hire someone, instead of believing what he states as his ability, I will ask for demonstration.
e.g. if someone claims a fluency in a particular programming language, ask the person to write 10,000 lines of code.

Written by blueroselady

October 19, 2012 at 11:11 am

30 revealing ideas from social psychology that can help us to appreciate people and our lives

with one comment

Below are interesting points (sometimes with some of personal thoughts & reflections) that I have learned from a course on social psychology taught by Professor Scott Plous of Wesleyan College.

@~@ Know yourself. Seach inside yourself.
LaoZi : "He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is enlightened."
Benjamin Franklin : "There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self"
Daniel Gilbert : "We seem to know less about the worlds inside our heads that about the world our heads are inside."

@~@ People often MISWANT.
Blueroselady :
How to overcome the challenge that we are remarkably bad at predicting of what will make us happy?
This question is very important because many of life’s big decisions involve predicting our future feelings.
Examples of life’s big decisions : marriage, career / profession, migration, vacation.
Funny real-life example : a friend J told me that her husband fluctuates between praising-in-the-form of question and complaining:
(1) "why a such a smart woman like you wanted to marry a jerk and stayed on?"
(2) "It’s a nightmare to be with you for the rest of your life, I was enticed by your physical attractions"

@~@ Most people are too preoccupied with themselves to notice our shortcomings (e.g. your pimple, your spiky hair because of having no time to comb your hair because of waking up late).

@~@ "Research has found that audiences can’t pick up on your anxiety as well as you might expect …
Other people are noticing less than you might suppose."
Blueroselady: The next time you have to deliver a public talk / give a company presentation / make a sales pitch, do not worry. Just do it!

@~@ Susan Andersen & Serena Chen, 2002: In our varied relationships, we have varying selves.

@~@ Much of our behavior is not consciously controlled but automatic and unself-conscious.
Blueroselady: Be mindful. We can choose to practice mindfulness.
Mindful breathing… Mindful eating… Mindful doing…

@~@ self-schema vs possible selves
self-schema = beliefs about self that organize & guide the procession of self-relevant information.
possible selves = images of what we dream of or dread becoming in the future.
self-schema strongly affect how we see / perceive, remember, evaluate other people & ourselves.

@~@ major negative events vs minor irritations
major negative events activate our psychological defense.
minor irritations do not activate our psychological immunity.

@~@ Role playing becomes reality.
As we enact a new role, e.g. college student, parent. salesperson, we initially feel self-conscious.
Progressively, the role playing becomes reality.
This reminds me on the message that Amy Cuddy wants us to remember in her TED talk on body language.
Fake it till you make it.
Fake it till you become it.

@~@ How do we decide if we are rich, smart, or tall?
The answer is social comparison (Festinger, 1954) in affluence, status, achievement.
Blueroselady: Many things in life (that I know of) are relative, particularly those that are measurable.
A reader’s question: "I have made a living comparing data in my job / career. Comparing has become my second nature. How can I stop comparing in life?"
Blueroselady suggestions:
# Gratitude exercises.
# Detachment exercises : Detach your emotions from the outcome of your comparisons. I hear you, it is easy to say, but challenging to do, that is why detachment is an art; for the sake of our happiness, we must practice the art of detachment.
# Mindfulness exercises : Remember that (1) social comparisons can decrease our life satisfaction. (2) 人比人气死人 (3) "There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self."
# Kindness exercises : Be kind & compassionate to yourself, leave behind comparisons with others.
# Affirmations e.g. It is better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else.

@~@ Children whom other people label as as gifted, hardworking or helpful tend to incorporate such ideas into their self-concepts & behavior.

@~@ Self-reliance
Self-reliant individual is celebrated in Western literature, e.g. The Iliad, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

@~@ Classifying / pigeonholing / labeling cultures as solely individualist or collectivist oversimplifies.
The oversimplification is because within any culture, individualism varies from person to person (Oyserman et al, 2002).
Blueroselady: Remember not to do hasty generalization.

@~@ Interdependent self
# has a greater sense of belonging.
# is defined by social connections with family, colleagues, loyal friends.
# has many selves: self-with-parents, self-at-work, self-with-friends.
# disapproves egotism, whereas independent self disapproves conformity.
# e.g. collectivistic Asian & Third World cultures.
# persists more on tasks when they are failing because wants to meet others’ expectations (e.g Japanese)
# prioritizes WE over ME

@~@ "So far, most of psychology has been produced by psychologists in middle-class White American settings studying middle-class White American respondents."
However, there are ways of life beyond the one that each of us knows best.
Blueroselady: In other space & time context (e.g. sociocultural context), there can be different ideas & practices about how to live a meaningful life.

@~@ Tips: eat before shopping.
Gilbert & Wilson (2000) showed that hungry shoppers do more impulse buying

@~@ Why is your friend’s success can be more threatening that that of strangers?
According to Zuckerman & Jost (2001), you feel that your self-esteem is threatened.
How do people react to self-esteem threat?
High self-esteem people blame others or try harder next time.
Low self-esteem people blame themselves or give up.
According to Roy Baumeister, folks with high self-esteem are more likely to be obnoxious, to interrupt, & to talk at people rather than to talk with people.
Bonus: It is useful for parents to know that
# among sibling relationships, the threat to self-esteem is greates for an older chld with a highly capable younger brother / sister.
# many people could not escape their tough childhoods, which is a cause of low self-esteem.

@~@ Secure self-esteem
# is rooted more in feeling good about who one is than in grades, looks, affluence / money, others’ approval.
# is essential for long-term well-being.
# Blueroselady views secure self-esteem neither as high nor low self-esteem, but self-esteem in equilibrium / in balance.

@~@ self-esteem vs self-efficacy
self-esteem = if you like yourself overall
Self-efficacy = if you believe you can do something

@~@ How to be less intimated (by others) & less gullible?
# remember that personal testimonies are powerfully persuasive but they may also be wrong.

@~@ Self-serving bias?
# attribute positive outcomes to oneself (e.g. own managerial skill)
# attribute negative outcomes to other factors (e.g. a down economy)

@~@ Examples of self-serving bias
# Group members’ estimates of how much they contribute to a join task typically sum to more than 100%. For instance, husband & wife are members of a group.
# most business people see themselves as more ethical than the average business people.
# Pronin & Ross (2006) reported that we see ourselves as objective & everyone else as biased. No wonder we fight!

@~@ Feedback is best when it is TRUE & SPECIFIC.
Specific feedback e.g. You are good at maths.
General feedback e.g. You are great.
To encourage someone (e.g. children, mentees, students, subordinates), remember that specific feedback is more effective than general feedback.

@~@ To improve performance, give self-efficacy feedback instead of self-esteem feedback.
e.g. of self-efficacy feedback : You tried really hard.
e.g. of self-esteem feedback : You are really smart.

@~@ When to listen to criticism & not to listen?
David Dunning’s gentle rule: "if two people independently give you the same piece of negative feedback, you should at least consider the possibility that it might be true"

@~@ Terror management theory by Jeff Greenberg: the reality of our own death motivates us to gain recognition from our work & values, but not everyone can achieve such recognition.

@~@ Competence + perseverance = success

@~@ Success requires enough optimism to sustain hope and enough pessimism to motivate concern.

@~@ According to Jule Norem (2000), defensive pessimism can sometimes save us from the perils of unrealistic optimism.
Blueroselady: Negative emotions such as anger and pessimism are not entirely bad, we just need healthy ways to deal with them.
Tips: Whenever you feel angry, remember that the person you are hurting is yourself.

@~@ Tyranny of freedom? too many choices can lead to paralysis.
According to Barry Schwartz, individualistic modern cultures have an excess of freedom which leads to the tyranny of freedom.
# Choice may enhance regret.
# People have expressed greater satisfaction with irrevocable choices than with reversible choices. This is because when people can undo their decisions they tend to consider both the positive & negative features of the decisions they had made. When they could not undo their decisions, people tend to concentrate on the positive features & ignore the negative features. For example, people expressed more satisfaction with their marriages several decades ago when marriage was more irrevocable.

@~@ Love causes marriage, but marriage would also causes love.
Blueroselady: This hypothesis may explain why arranged marriages (in some cultures) have successfully worked and survived.

@~@ The 5:1 ratio of positive:negative activities
To sustain important relationships such as marriage and parental relationships, ensure that you strive to increase the ratio of positive to negative activities by at least 5 fold.
e.g. of positive activities : holding hands, giving a hug, lending a listening ear.
e.g. of negative activities : arguing, complaining.

More
# Book: Social Psychology. Chapter 2. DG Myers. 2012.
# Notes at the end of email

Written by blueroselady

December 26, 2013 at 3:55 am

Happiness exercise: write a short introduction about yourself

leave a comment »

In a series of happiness exercises, I brainstorm novel and creative ideas of doings that can boost up our happiness. Today exercise is simple: write a short introduction about yourself. You can memorize it to remind yourself when you experience negative emotions, to make new friends and build new relationships, or simply to make an elevator pitch.

Here is a brief introduction about myself.

I am an ordinary woman with a BIG dream to give extraordinary service to others.

My love include life, family, stories and writing. I dream of writing a book that is enlisted in The New York Times Non-Fiction Best Sellers.

Everyday, I give my best to live and learn so that I can share useful tips about education and entrepreneurship / business,
that are thoughtful, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.

I am also interested in people, travel, food (especially Asian food and Italian desserts), visual arts, movies and creative ideas.

Counting my blessings, I am grateful for being a mother, lifelong student, storyteller, researcher and marketer; and having good health and more wealth than the yesterday-me.

Thank you very much for being interested in me!

Please keep in touch and feel free to comment.

Written by blueroselady

October 11, 2013 at 6:23 am

Posted in writing

Tagged with , , , , , , , ,

How to age healthily? 14 nutritious & delicious tips that are less commonly applied

leave a comment »

Growing up and growing old is inevitable.
Now, the question is: how can we age happily, healthily, and graciously?
Here are tips that are related (and semi-related) to food – one of the most basic need of human beings according to the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

1. Do not let negative stereotypes hold you back.
Believe that you can be healthy and independent.
Have a strong faith that you can contribute values to society and enjoy lives (e.g. travel the world, do exciting activities such as skydiving).
A positive attitude is essential to keep your appetite well.

2. Be aware that the speed / rate we age varies depend on genetics, environmental influences (e.g. pollutants), and lifestyles (including diet, exercise).
In Singapore, the average life span is 81 years old as of 2013.

3. Be physically self-sufficient, so that you can cook for yourself (home-cooked food is always the best!), you can have fun independently.

4. Be financially self-sufficient, so that you can afford to buy nutritious healthy food.
Never ever be financially dependent on progenies / children / nephews / nieces.
Raising children != investing.
Story A:
A good friend of mine K helped to arrange for an elderly care for his divorced uncle.
The old man’s sons refused to take care of him, fortunately he still has a filial nephew.
But how many people like K are out there?
Story B:
A middle age woman whom I know well kindly shared with me that although our world promotes filial piety and even children story books strongly encourage children to love their parents regardless of the economic capabilities of their parents, people can still be affected financially.
Elderly parents who are financially independent can be more likable / gain more respects because they do not have to give additional financial burden to their adult children who have to raise young family.

5. Be emotionally self-sufficient.
You will no longer need daily companions of your children when they go to study / work.
If they visit you daily, it is good.
If they are too busy to visit you, you can pray for their well-beings and success, you can call them using telephones, Skype, KakaoTalk, etc.
The elderly can also seek friends of similar interests / do activities that they have longed for doing.

6. To prevent osteoporosis and fractures, increase intake of Calcium, vitamin D, protein, and do weight-bearing exercises e.g. hiking, dancing.

7. To obtain sufficient vitamin D, spend 10 min under the sun daily or consume oily fish.

8. Eat smaller portion s-l-o-w-l-y but more often.
Enjoy your meal.
Live to eat,
savor every bite and sip.

9. Eat colorfully!
Fruit and vegetables of different colors provide different vitamins and minerals.

10. Eat diversely.
Travel the world through your taste buds.
Consider having each of these per day in a period of 1 week / 10 days / 2 weeks:
Korean food,
Japanese food,
Sichuan food,
Cantonese food,
Vietnamese food,
Peranakan food,
Indian food,
Italian food,
French food,
… and the list goes on.

11. Eat whole grains (e.g. brown rice).
If it is too hard for you, consider the followings:
Cut food into small piece / ground the meat.
Eat softer / mashed / pureed food, just like how babies eat!
Try juices & pureed fruits.

12. Select fats wisely.
Olive oil, sunflower oil, avocado are better sources of fat.
Avoid trans fat that are high in content in fried food, bakery, cakes.
Reduce butter, full cream milk, coconut milk as they have saturated fat.

13. Keep hydrated.
Ensure that you urinate 10-12x within 24 hours.
If not, it means that you do not drink enough.
Apple juice-like of urine color indicates dehydration.

14. As one ages, one will lose teeth and lose senses in taste buds.
Chewing meat to enjoy the taste only is insufficient to obtain protein, you must eat the meat.

If you find my writings are useful to you, please donate to me by clicking here.

Written by blueroselady

April 18, 2013 at 7:32 am

How not to listen to non-constructive criticism?

with 2 comments

This article is inspired by John Gurdon’s experience on criticism. He received Nobel prize in 2012. Though I have never met him, I counted a blessing that in a period of my life, I walked / cycled passed the Gurdon Institute (named after him) regularly.

An Eton teacher of John Gurdon wrote that the then 15-year-old John Gurdon wouldn’t listen, couldn’t learn simple biological facts and, horror of horrors, "insisted on doing work in his own way". In one test, Gurdon scored a miserable two out of 50.

The report made John Gurdon disheartened, but fortunately one of John Gurdon’s early decision on not to listen to non-constructive criticism indeed played an important role in his subsequent research work, including the discovery that mature cells can be converted to stem cells (and ended up winning a Nobel prize).

How not to listen to non-constructive criticism?

1. Be prepared that in life, no matter what we do (including noble actions), some people will criticize us. To protect ourselves against these peace robbers, we can
# enhance our inner strength by reminding / focusing ourselves on our strength
# have a thick face

2. Be aware of the reasons why people give non-constructive criticism

# jealousy and justification attempt. They are jealous of our achievements and attempt to gain self-importance by criticizing us. They justify themselves at the expense of us. Do not fear those who criticize us because of their jealousy. Perhaps, those who criticize us suffer from low self-esteem and meet their need of having self-importance by criticizing, instead we can be kind by giving them empathy and sympathy.

# ignorance and inexperience. For example, you want to attempt a new venture and you seek advices from people around you. Those who never start up a company or those who have failed will project their fear and criticize you. Do not listen to these naysayers. Instead, consult those who have successfully achieved what you want to achieve.

3. Be mindful of your perspective (mind), emotions, and body

# Must be able to see the BIG PICTURE
When I was a primary and junior high school student, I accept the fact that teachers are role models. I did not question their authorities. They were the grown-ups with more knowledge and wisdom than me who was only a fledgling individual. I did not realize that teachers are also human beings, subjected to human conditions (both positive and negative attributes). Few of my teachers had ego and misused their authorities. They criticized students who refused to follow them, e.g. if a student refused to learn bad words, he would be labeled as self-righteous. Fortunately, I moved to a better school and I learned a lot from my kind teachers – those who teach for the passion of teaching and nurturing the next generation more than for earning an income (of course everyone has to earn a living). Looking back, those teachers who criticized things I thought as right, did no longer matter.

Then, when I started my study in a famous place, an unhappy professor told me that the only reason I went there was because of the fame. Well, while that reason honestly contributed to my decision, I had bigger reasons why I fought all my ways to gain admission there. At that time, when such a professor with his authority / power and perceived superiority (in knowledge, ability, etc) said such things to students, the impact could be huge. However, I did not listen to him. I shifted my focus to my purpose (FOCUS ON YOUR PURPOSES). I managed to work with more successful (and more generous and kinder) professors, produced results, and graduated. My mentor CNC loves to say that success is always the sweetest revenge (without harming our past offenders).

My learning journey then brought me to meet inspiring entrepreneurs. In some aspects, I look up to entrepreneurs who create jobs for many people and excellent products / services with great values, more than to professors who care only about their tenure, publications, and self-importance in their fields (of course, there are always kind professors, I was fortunate to meet and work with few of them). My experience with the entrepreneurs unleash an inner desire of me: to be an entrepreneur. That is why I am working everyday to prepare myself for my venture, to provide values to my customers. I believe that I will be invited to teach / give talks at universities because of my expertise, instead of having to apply and fight for limited faculty positions.

To summarize, I have met more people and seen the world, my perspectives have changed. When you climb a mountain, your standpoint / perspective has elevated, you can see wider and hence the bigger picture.

# Must be able to be the master of our emotion
Often, when one is criticized, one will end up feeling sad, shameful, worried (worry is a kind of fear), or angry. All these emotions are of lower consciousness.
Be aware of your emotion, then you can shift those of lower consciousness to those of higher consciousness (e.g. courage, patience).
For example, you can manage your anger through techniques such as loving yourself, Siberian North Rail Road, and detachment.

# Learn to relax our body
Criticisms from people whose matter to us (e.g. parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, or even peers) can result in racing heart, sweating, shaking, flushing face.
When you are aware of these physical reactions of your body, use relaxation to calm down. Breath deeply. Visualize / imagine serene places that you remember from your travel. Recall prayers that you have said countless times.

"Let nothing disturb you,
nothing frighten you,
all things are passing.
God is unchanging.
Patience gains all;
nothing is lacking to those who have God:
God alone is sufficient."
St Teresa of Avilla

Related:
How to Handle Criticism and Nonconstructive Feedback by Nicole Wolfe
*Davidson_not_hopeless* (in my ref folder)

More readings:
http://www.economist.com/node/21564525
http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/

Instagram, Instant Retro, vintageJS, Pixlr-o-matic

with one comment

Time flies since I graduated from high school at the age of 17. Yes, I was the youngest in the class! I think this is a blessing. ok, enough talking about myself. I want to be humble, and we can be humble by being aware that whatever we have are gifts from God (for my non-believer friends, I would say gifts from the universe).

I love vintage photos, they are so timeless and nostalgic, they can bring back countless happy memories. Not having the latest technology should not deter ones from having beautiful memories. Here, I am reviewing a number of tools / software to create everlasting pieces of memorable photos.

Review period: January 2012

Photoshop:
Pro: like a shop, it has many things that we need.
Con: steep learning curve.
Will I use it again? I have been using it. I have to keep on learning!

Instagram:
Pro: easy to use, I saw my sister use it on the spot.
Con: must have iPhone, Mac, which I do not have.
Will I use it again? Yes!

vintageJS
http://vintagejs.com
Con: need internet access to upload, slow to upload / edit.
Techniques: Vignette (darken edges), Vignette (lighten center), Adjust curves, Screenlayer, Through the viewfinder, Desaturate, Blur on edges
Will I use it again? No.

Instant Retro:
Con: slow to upload, to add effects (edit).
Techniques: darken edges, lighten center, screenlayer, desaturate, roll, sun, Ttv, burned, lens, rounded, Fuji, bricks
Will I use it again? No.

Pixlr-o-matic
Con: must upload photos
e.g. : The Hagrid filter darkens the photo and makes it grainier, while the Focal texture washes out the center and adds scratches across the face of the photo.

Picplz
Con: must sign in using Facebook / Twitter.

While I am doing review, I am listening to some beautiful songs, including Wang Jie. I love her so much. Her eyes are smiling!

Written by blueroselady

March 2, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Book: How to achieve inner strength

with 4 comments

Author: Shammi Sukh

You have within you GREAT POWERS and boundless RESERVES of potential and ability that can enable you to accomplish extraordinary things in life. p9

You are born FREE, free to choose or shape your life. p11

… they actively and constructively ponder over the possibilities, and the inner power of the SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND automatically CREATES the SOLUTIONS needed. p12

… mind predominates both environment & circumstances.

… the ‘right train’ of thoughts can take you to a better ‘destination’ in life. p12

… choose to INTERPRET the events in life in such a way that they become happier, more effective and successful.

A powerful person is an actor, not a reactor. p18

“Why are you so nice to him when he is so rude to you?”
“Because I don’t want him to decide how I am going to act”

It is estimated by psychologists that our life-patterns, i.e. mental programming, is decided by the time we are 5 years old. p20
Blueroselady: must guide our progenies well!

Undoubtedly, education, money and social status are essential for leading a good life but … the source of all the problems lies within. p21

When we change our beliefs, we change our attitude.
When we change our attitude, we change our behaviour.
And, with our changed behaviour, our life changes.

The ship analogy:
When a ship sails, can all the water around it sink the ship?
The answer is NO.
Only the water that gets into the ship, can make it sink.
It is not the ‘negative’ environment that sinks us but the ‘negative’ thoughts which enter into our mind that do.
The ‘negative’ environment will contiune to exist; no matter what we do.
The ‘negative’ thougts, which get into our mind, are a matter of concern.

Does it mean we can do anything with the help of inner-power?
No amount of inner-power can spare you the need to learn the skills and knowledge required for achieving your goals.
p23.

Many people disempower themselves by empowering circumstances, situations and other people to control them. p24

By believing that you can be what you want to be, you can achieve what you want to achieve.

“Anytime we think the problem is ‘out there’ that thought is the problem” Stephen R. Covey p26

a person’s life is a portrait of himself p27

The good news is that
You really do not know
How great you can be,
How much you can love,
What you can accomplish and
What your potential is.
— Anne Frank
p29

What is self-esteem?
Having good self-esteem means that you love, respect and trust yourself. p30

good things begin to happen when we fall in love with ourselves. p31

Another problem with people having low self-esteem is that they never forget the mistakes they’ve made, but they tend to forget or diminish their achievements.

A person with low self-esteem has a higher need of attention and sympathy from others, and needs to be made to feel ‘important’ more often as compared to others.
Q. How can we help these people?
Blueroselady: give them more attention, empathy, sympathy.
p33.

How do people with low self-esteem suffer? p34

1. criticizing & blaming others.
Since they keep on criticizing & belittling others, the others often dislike them.
People who have the habit of laughing at others’ failures mistakes or weaknesses, suffer from low self-esteem.
“People who have no respect for themselves have trouble respecting others” Roger Dawson.
Roger Dawson = a leading jazz and salsa disc jockey in the USA and acknowledged as at the forefront of New York’s Salsa music explosion of the seventies and early eighties.

2. Avoiding disapproval from others
The fear of disapproval or “what other people might say” is very common.
…, some people spend $ to buy things they don’t need, to impress people they don’t like.
Due to their low degree of self-esteem, they have a tendency to magnify anything ‘negative’ that happens, at the same time minimizing or discounting anything ‘positive’ that happens.

3. Seeking the approval of others
A person with high self-esteem can afford to project a modest image.
“Never feel that you have to explain who you are, or defend yourself, or act in ways that please other people if you must dishonour yourself to do so.
Just be who you are. You lack nothing.” Ebun Adelona.
the most important person to impress is YOURSELF!

4. playing psychological games with others
Some of the common psychological games such people play are:
“See, I told you”
“Mine is better than yours”
“Look, you can’t do without me”
“You are too young to do this on your own”
“See how intelligent I am”

5. avoiding close relationships
“Your ability to love others is in direct proportion to your ability to love yourself” Roger Dawson.

CUDDLES and KISSES
Dr Vernon Colemena of London argues that cuddles and kisses are just as important as medicines when it comes to keeping healthy. p40
In America, insurance companies conducted studies which showed that if a woman kisses her husband goodbye every morning, he is much less likely to have a car accident on the way to work, and his life expectancy improves on an average of 5 years, thanks to her morning kisses.

How to enhance self-esteem?
If a person attaches high value to education, acquiring education will make him feel ‘worthy’ and enhances his self-esteem.
If a person consider money to be valuable, if he becomes rich, he will consider himself to be valuable.

Amost all our unhappiness is the result of comparing ourselves to others.

p43
My opinion of myself counts more than others’ opinion of me.

I do not blame luck, people or circumstances for the quality of my life.

I forgive myself for my failures and mistakes.

Self-esteem is the seat of self-motivation and self-motivation is the source of unlimited success.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can! p44

Chapter 4: the power of self-image

What is self-image? the picture about ourselves in our mind that shows us how we ‘see’ ourselves. p46

According to Dorothy C Briggs, our self-image influences the kind of friends we choose, how well we get along with others, the kind of person we marry and how productive our lives will be.

How to change a ‘negative’ self-image? p47
1. insert a new self-image in our mind
2. give positive auto-suggestions
3. act out the desired behaviour

1. insert a new self-image in our mind : if one wants to enahnce one’s chances of success, one should begin to imagine oneself as a winner.

2. give positive auto-suggestions : auto-suggestions involve REPEATing positive declarations to the self, with a sincere conviction in our mind about the self-image that we want to create.
“Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better.”
“I am hope. I am joy. I am free. I am happy. I am love.”

3. act out the desired behaviour
The quickest and most effective way to acquire a new personality trai is simple enough: assume and act as if you already have it.
You have to be POSITIVE and ASSERTIVE with yourself, before you can be with others.

Almost all your unhappiness is the result of DISCOUNTing yourself. p50

“The beginning of a habit is like invisible thread, every time we repeat the act, we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably in thought and action.” O.S. Marden.
Orison Swett Marden (1850 – 1924) was an American writer associated with the New Thought Movement. He also held a degree in medicine, and was a successful hotel owner.

If we have a negative self-image, it sets up ‘mental block’ in our life.
A positive self-image gives birth to certain INNER POWERS.

People read us through our body language.

Chapter 5: The power of self-talk
p52

Happiness comes from WITHIN.

30% of our feelings of hurt are caused by imaginary insults,
30% by misunderstanding;
30% are unintentional.
It is only the balance of 10% of the wonds that others inflict intentionally.

If we don’t find any proof / evidence for our assumptions, it is better not to assume anything.

Your mind is a sacred enclosur into which nothing harmful can enter, except by your permission.

Chapter 6: The power of perception
p55

What is perception? the IMAGE or PICTURE of things, people and surrondings that we form in our mind through our 5 senses.

Every child looks beautiful to his / her mother, however ugly that child may appear to others.

We must realize that our perception and the reality are 2 different things.

Challenges can be stepping stones / stumbling blocks. It is just a matter of how you view them.

Once we realize the power of perception, we start using the steneces
“To me it appears bright”,
“to me it looks beautiful”,
“to me it looks big”,
and so on.

We can disagree with others without being impolite, rude, crude, or crooked.

Chapter 7: The power of attitude
p58

quite often, people themselves are the creators of their troubles by responding in the same / similar fashion to a given situation.

By changing our responses, we can change our future. p61

“I am the only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do” Helen Keller

A ‘helpless’ attitude is a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, and hence, DANGEROUS.

A person with a destructive attitude towards life attempts to damage / lose even what he has.

One can break a relationship with just a few harsh words, but it takes years to develop one.

Positive attitudes influences us to make the best use of situations and circumstances even if they are unfavourable.

… to live, to enjoy, care and serve, to the extent possible.

… we may get stones but it is up to us to build a bridge or a wall. If your life is ‘sour’ like a lemon, why not add some ‘sugar’ to it and make a refreshing lemonade! p65

Chapter 8 : the power of interpretation

His feelings of insult were a result of his INTERPRETATION of the situation and not because of the reality of the situation itself. p67

jumping to conclusions is a dangerous form of mental acrobatics. p68

…, through our interpretation, we see the situations the way we want to see them and not the way the situation actually IS.

“Our life is not entirely a life of responses to external stimuli;
but rather a life determined to respond and seeking stimuli that will justifiy the response.”
A. CLutton-Brock p70
Arthur Guy Clutton-Brock (5 April 1906 – 29 January 1995) was an English social worker, who became a Zimbabwean nationalist and co-founder of Cold Comfort Farm.

Chapter 9: the power of definitions
unless we learn to NOTICE and UNDERSTAND our own definitions as well as our spouse’s, our relationships will continue to produce emotional strain.
p73

“A friend is a friend, irrespective of whether he helps me or not. If he does not help me, how does it mean that he is not really a friend? After all, he has every right to say a no to me.” p74

life is also an individual’s definition. p75

e.g.
a clever person is 1 who can win others’ hearts.
a smart person is 1 who can break ther rules. Blueroselady thinks this definition is not good.
a smart person is 1 who lives within the boundaries of rules.

the way we define things is goign to determine the way we feel about them. p76

Success can be defined in many ways, such as:
1. I am successful when others start feeling jealous of what I achieve.
2. Success is when I attain my goals, or else I am a failure.
3. Success is when I have attempted to succeed, irrespective of whether I avhieve my goals or not.
4. Success is when I learn something even from my failures.
5. Success is when I fail to achieve my gaols and yet continue to live life with the same zest and zeal.
6. Success is when I leave this world with satisfaction that I have lived my life, irrespective of my failure to achieve any prestigious post in the society.
Blueroselady thinks that definition 6 is the best!

…, let your definitions be such that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. p78

Although there is nothing you can do to change your past, you can change the way you look at it.

Chapter 10: the power of positive thinking
p79

positive thinking = optimism

No problem remains forever.
Every problem has a lifespan.
Like all other problems, this too shall pass.

After all, miracles do happen.
There are many cases when people got cured even without any medicine.

A pessimist complains because God put thorns on roses,
while an optimist praises God for putting roses among thorns.

…, an optimist CONCENTRATES on what has been left with him so that he can improve upon it further.

Every time Thomas Alva Edison failed, he would say, “Now I know 1 more way in which an electric bulb cannot be made”.

all that happens is for the good.
incidents and events which we may perceive as ‘bad’ today, may eventually turn out to be a blessing tomorrow.

“Specialists in psychosomatic medicine now estimate that 3/4 of our physical ailments origniate in our mind rather than in our bodies” Constance Foster. p83

When we criticize somebody, negative thoughts run through our system.

When a person is angry, adrenaline and noradrenaline chemicals are secreted into the blood.

positive thoughts result in the release of nitric ocixde in the blood.

OPTIMISM or HOPE keeps people alive.

If you want to be the picture of good health, you better have a happy frame of mind.

…, it was observed that patients who listen to HAPPY songs, recover much faster as compared to patients who listen to ‘sad’ songs.

…, he who laughs — last!

Many fail to seek what is good in people and devote more time to pointing out “what’s wrong with the world”, and less to “what’s right with the world”.

The weather appears romantic to us when we wear sunglasses, in spite of there being the glaring hot sun.

Hoping for the best, but being prepared for the worst is the best policy one can follow in life. p85

Chapter 11: the power of expectations
p86

What we expect, tends to happen.

Cassius Clay, who became famous as Muhammad Ali, had these words “I am the greatest” on his blazer when he was just a child.

When we deeply hope to be successful, it is impossible to experience the fear of failure.

Blueroselady: to concentrate on what could happen based on our past successes.

a negative prediction by an astrologer can be harmful since it generates negative expectations and anxiety in the believer’s mind.
Blueroselady: believes only positive prediction. With God’s grace and Blueroselady’s positive thoughts, bad events will become good events.

Chapter 12: the power of intentions
p91

a person who is after money would feel that everyone is after money.
if a person is honest, he would feel that people are, by and large honest.
we see our own REFLECTION in the world.
Blueroselady is unique, what does not work for Blueroselady may works for others.
e.g. Blueroselady is immune to marketing campaign.

if a person is good-hearted, he would feel that the whole world is good hearted, and would therefore have tremendous peace of mind. p93

Chapter 13: the power of will-power
p96

Colonel Sander, at the age of 65, had knocked on more than a thousand doors to bag his first order.
It does not matter if you get knocked down.
It is whether you get up thereafter that matters.

You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit.
Vince Lombardi (an American football coach)

successful people are ordinary people with EXTRAORDINARY determination.

Will-power is when you act again and again and again and again.

Chapter 14: the power of freedom
p100

It is WE OURSELVES who make our lives a paradise or otherwise.
Belief in God helpms most if we believe in ourselves.

You may be astonished to know that people generally fear FREEDOM.
People fear freedom because freedom means complete responsibility of self and life.
a story of a prisoner written by Charles Dickens.

Those who believe in pre-ordained destiny do not push their capabilities hard enough in life and thus give up completely, resigning as they do to ‘luck’ or ‘fate’.

none of us is responsible for all the things that happen tous, but we are responsible for THE WAY WE ACT when they happen.

The number of opportunities a person has in life depends not on how lucky he is, but HOW WELL he HAS TRAINED his mind to recognize them.
Every person gets enough opportunities to make a future of his own, but usually refuses to recognize them.
A wise man SEES more opportunities than what he actually gets.

Millions have seen apples falling from trees, but it was Newton who recognized and encashed the opportunity to formulate the law of ‘gravitational pull’
Blueroselady thinks that this is a good example.

GREAT opportunities come to those who make the MOST of SMALL ones.

“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the opportunities they want, and, if they don’t find them, they make them.” — George Bernard Shaw.
an Irish playwright and a co-founder of the London School of Economics.
Nearly all his writings address prevailing social problems, but have a vein of comedy which makes their stark themes more palatable.

It is always a GOOD TIME for GOOD and always a bad time for bad deeds.

When PREPARATION meets the OPPORTUNITY, it is a good time. p108

Each 1 of us writes his or her own horoscope everday — and things normallly go as per that horoscope.

Belief in the self may bring occasional failures, but belief in ‘fate’ will make us fail most of the times. p110

You are the sole architect of your destiny.

“A person is educated when he has trained himself to use his freedom well” — Ven James Alberione
an Italian priest and publisher, the founder of the Society of St. Paul and the Daughters of St. Paul

God helps those who help themselves.

Chapter 15: the power of self-responsibility
p113

Blueroselady: self-responsibility = take initiative
Blueroselady is a very responsible lady

“You are never really a failure until you start blaming someone else for what went wrong.” Roger Dawson
the author of “Secrets of Power Negotiating” and founder of the Power Negotiating Institute.

What can a wife whose husband is busy do?
1. develop some hobby to spend her time
2. start a small business to keep herself busy
3. spend time with other female friends
p115

Do not blame our parents, elders, family members, society, government, or someone else, for the poor condition of our lives.

Let us stop from making such statements:
“it is you who made me angry”
“he is responsible for my unhapiness”
“the company’s management is responsible for psoiling my career”
“I am like this because society is like this”
“he forced me into this bad habit”

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself” — Leo Tolstoy
a Russian writer who primarily wrote novels and short stories, major work: novels War and Peace and Anna Karenina

“During my childhood I have seen my father beating his family members.
I cannot forget those horrible scenes.
I have often seem him quarrelling and abusing others.
I have witnessed his bad habits of smoking and drinking spoiling his helath.
So, I decided not to be like him.
I chose not to indulge in the destructive habits of drinking and smoking.
So I am not like him.”

It is NEVER TOO LATE to change ourselves for betterment.

The person who really wants to do something FINDs A WAY; others find an excuse.

if we do not take due responsibility for our life, no one else will.
No 1 has the time or patience to give us any priority.
Othes, can, at best, help us but we ought to take the initiative for obtaining that help.
p119

Many people misinterpret the meaning of owning responsibility for their life by blaming the self, feeling guilty or finding fault with themselves.

Chapter 16: the power of understanding
p122

the most common cause of all our troubles and misery is tht in OUR REACTION to situations and people,
our RESPONSES are strongly influeced by the conditioning of our mind during the early years of our life.

IGNORANCE: gives rise to ~90% of the troubles there are in this world
e.g.
The poor boy who became a great scholar, a history professor and 1 of the most famous writers of Italy: Ludovico Antonio Muratori

“What a man does not understand, he does not have” — Goethe

we, many a time, keep saying things we don’t mean, and we do not say things that we actually mean, and yet expect to be understood correctly by others. p125

When someone faces a problem, we, instead of trying to understand his / her feelings, straight away start advising him / her.
So often we use the words “you should have” or “you should not have”.
When the other person is trying to express his or her feelings, we hear but fail to listen.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them” — Mother Teresa

What is empathy?
the ability to put ourselves in others’ shoes and to feel / see the situation, as the other person feels / sees it.
e.g.
while Mahatma Gandhi was standing in the doorway of a moving railway carriage, 1 of his sandals slipped and fell off.
He promptly pushed off the other sandal too.
The poor man who finds the sandals on the tracks will now have a pair he can use.

The next time your spouse or parent or child gets upset, say something like this:
“I don’t blame you for feeling as you do.
If I were you, I’d feel exactly the same way.
What would you like me to do?”

when you think of how hard it is to change yourself, you begin to understand what little chance you have of changing others.

story by Brian Cavanaugh
seer 1: Sir, you will live to see all your sons dead.
The king became furious and ordered his guards to execute the seer.
seer 2: Sir, I see that you have been blessed with a long life. You will live so long that you will outlive all your family!
moral of the story: both prophets knew the truth, but 1 had tact, the other did not.
p129

when we do something for others, we may attach too much value to what we do and when the other person does something for us, we may give it very little importance.

There is a direct relationship between the THOUGHTS we think and the ACTS we perform.
p131

Chapter 17: the power of pursose

“The world hate change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress” — Charles Kettering
an American inventor, engineer, businessman, and the holder of 186 patents.[
He was a founder of Delco, and was head of research for General Motors for 27 years from 1920 to 1947.

When we don’t plan a direction in life, we make a choice — that of no choice.

“The purpose of life is A LIFE OF PURPOSE” — Robert Byrne

… making the best use of oneself, bringing out of oneself the best of which 1 is capable. p134

Do not be, simply, good. Be good for something, someone!

No 2 persons or things are the same.
Each 1 of us is born with natural talent and potential.
You are UNIQUE on this earth.

Never copy others, beacuase those who copy others do not become any better than their models.

Every person has something no other person has.
Develop that 1 thing and make it OUTSTANDING.
You have within you an enormous range of hidden talent.

If you have a PURPOSE and act with full inner-power, nothing is going to be impossible to achieve.

“Everyone has a purpose of life — a unique gift or some special talent to give to others.
And, when we blend this uqniue talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate of all goals.” — Deepak Chopra.
an Indian medical doctor, public speaker, and writer on subjects such as spirituality, Ayurveda and mind-body medicine

Great people are so, because they have been true to themselves.
They have lived up to their true potential.

Each 1 of us has not only special abilities, but MANY general abilities too.

Life is not made up of a single dimension alone. Shakespeare was a lover, a poet and a playwright.

“There are 2 kinds of success.
One is the very rare kind that comes to the man who has the pwoer to do what no 1 else has the power to do. That is genius.
But the average man who wins is not a genius. He is a man who has merely the ordinary qualities that he shares with his fellows, but has developed those ordinary qualities to a MORE THAN ORDINARY DEGREE” — Theodore Roosevelt.
the 26th President of the United States.

Chapter 18: NOW – is the right time!

There are no ideal circumstances and, there never will be.
the only thing that comes to him who waits and waits, is OLD AGE. p139

Masters are not ruled by circumstances,
situations, other people or their fate.
Masters are born
to Rule over their life!

Master enjoys all the virtues of good life, like prosperity, progress and respect. p141

The person who owns complete responsibility for one’s life becomes the Master of his or her life.

a long life is a gift from God, while a full and fruitful life is our own doing.

NO PERSON, EVENT OR SITUATION can make you unhappy, angry, afraid, and sad unless and until you are willing to make yourself so. p142

Written by blueroselady

November 16, 2011 at 1:08 am

Posted in book

Tagged with , , , , ,

Her Twitter

leave a comment »

This is the URL to my old tweets.

2011
28 Aug: I need air cond in tropical country.
31 Jul : Graduate students are cheap labor. Ref: Ten Simple Rules for Graduate Students. Jenny Gu, Philip E. Bourne.
30 Jul : Take baby steps. Tell myself, “I can do it. It’s going to be okay”. Life by the yard is very hard. Life by the inch is a cinch.
30 Jul : Problems = opportunities in disguise.
30 Jul : I have collected 2,368 ref couple photos. Ready to be a photographer.
30 Jul : Honestly, I think MIT graduation gown is not nice with grey and red color combination. I do not mean to offense, it is just from my humble artistic point. The hat is an integration of bakery and surgeon.
27 Jul : OMG, I am addicted to browsing wedding photos. But, I will be a photographer.
25 Jul : Today somebody asked me if I am from Korea. Are you from Japan? China? Korea? Taiwan?
24 Jul : Mum, Sis, Bro, and Bro-in-law-in-progress were taking just few days ago. Sigh… My condolences to the family of the casualties.
24 Jul : A thing that ambitious women can learn from Wendi Deng is to protect her man, fight tooth and nail to secure a voting position for her children in the family trust.
23 Jul : mini shoot of sunset, walk to reservoir, dinner with family (mango dessert), I am a blessed babe.
22 Jul : I am grateful for my lunch of Hakka tea rice.
22 Jul : A girl thinks that I am from Australia based on my English accent.
21 Jul : still remember the shoe shot with IH, he later bought the mouse to make the story alive. I like that kind of images with story telling.
17 Jul : Today homely: Do not judge others.
17 Jul : I think my facial expressions are quite limited, ranging from sweet smiling, cute laugh with big eyes, and sad faces. It is ok, I can still take photos on other subjects.
16 Jul : I want to learn public speaking (like LC1987), dancing, photography (like DW). I want to be a leader of myself!
16 Jul : Travel through photo websites and facebook
16 Jul : Watched a clip from Jyoou no Kyoushitsu or The Queen’s Classroom. Lesson: be curious and learn forever.
14 Jul : Do not worry. The answer is Jesus.
14 Jul : I should blog and twitter more in Chinese Mandarin. To reach out and touch more lives.
13 Jul : blessing of the day : quaker oats apple cinnamon cookies
12 Jul : How to be a good doctor? humility
12 Jul : Cecilia Cheung has a rich, powerful godfather : Mr Chen Yushu (70), King of Cloisonne, a one time Chinese teacher and writer.
8 Jul : I realize that I may not be the smartest at work, but I still have other positive traits : determination and discipline.
7 Jul : I am tired of taking 2 x 1 hour 20 min train to & from work. How? Find a job nearer to where I live.
6 Jul : A very beautiful lady from where I spent part of my young age, offer me a seat on train, by squeezing with her sisters.
6 Jul : Write with a reader in mind, talk with a listener in mind
5 Jul : Almost forget my laptop after a class. Be careful!
5 Jul : window-shop an art shop. Inspired, yet must focus on my photography pursuit
5 Jul : When you see a person without a smile, give them yours.
26 Jun : Mother Teresa: It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. Inspiration from a mass at St Joseph.
26 Jun : When we recognize the God-given dignity in human dignity, there can be no racial or religious supremacy or one trying to control the other.
26 Jun : Josef Ackermann : stay focused on your goals. Learn from criticism, but do not let it distract or slow you down.
26 Jun : Thomas Hoving asked, “What do I need to be a professional in art history?” His professor replied “Independent income!” Blueroselady: the truth also goes for artists and scientists.
25 Jun : Let us cherish, preserve and uphold the sacredness and dignity of all human life, regardless of race, creed or religion.
25 Jun : Winston Churchill once said “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”
22 Jun : All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. Galileo Galilei.
22 Jun : You will not get the time for vacation, you have to make the time.
21 Jun : What have u learned in your graduate school? The ability to answer Qs (that matter / are important) and to question answers ; technical, analytical, managerial skills. Thanks Alanna!
19 Jun : A friend who went to Portugal with me on msn : Determination Discipline.
19 Jun : Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa.
17 Jun : 21st century, what thing is the most important? HARMONY. 非诚勿扰
17 Jun : green = money ; green = nature
17 Jun : try to love people, however unsuccessfully
17 Jun : I aspire to make pictures as beautiful as those made by mentor BG of America.
15 Jun : evolution theory : men look for attractive women while women look for successful men.
15 Jun : men place looks (of women) the most important trait,before kindness and a lively personality. soft skin, full-looking lips and colourful cheeks. attractiveness = fertility.
15 Jun : gratitude = thankfulness = appreciative
15 Jun : XL is reading a leadership book.
15 Jun : Education and knowledge are particularly important. Otherwise you’d never have a chance to go to a good university, get a good job and find a good husband. Wendi Deng, 3rd wife of media magnate Rupert Murdoch.
14 Jun : Boss asked interviewee: are you a quick learner? Interviewee answered YES immediately.
14 Jun : Privacy threats and fatigue has led millions to shut down their Facebook accounts. People get terribly excited about something new and after a while the novelty wears off.
12 Jun : What do you want to be, haigui (sea turtles), haiou (seagulls), or haidai (seaweed)? Definitely not haidai, but haiou sounds great, being able to make worldwide contributions.
12 Jun : The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in THE CONTEMPLATION OF HIS BELOVED. Viktor Frankl
11 Jun : like Shara Lin 林逸欣 music (simultaneous piano, violin, guzheng) and next-door-girl look
10 Jun : It is opportunity and not income that we should strive to equalize.
10 Jun : poverty = less access to family planning
9 Jun : unity != uniformity
9 Jun : How to join Board of Directors of respected institutions?
8 Jun : Call me a non-IT-savvy, but I found that the black white page of Twitter on my Firefox and Chrome pretty annoying! I am tweeting on my blog now.
8 Jun : In the progress of transferring 530 previous tweets. Time for revision.
8 Jun : Only when one has visited the foreign land, one comes to appreciate home land.
8 Jun : Jun 7, 2011: miss Dad & Mum so much till I cry. They wish that I am healthy, to be healthy, I must minimize crying.
8 Jun : Drive safely – think of your loved ones. Act safely – think of your loved ones.
8 Jun : Within 1st hour of your baby life, immediately hug and breastfeed her.
8 Jun : What to do when your woman is angry? 哄 by Teacher Le Jia of FeiChengHuRao.
8 Jun : Blessing of Jun 5, 2011: love eat drink pray airport
8 Jun : Blessing of Jun 5, 2011: Dad helped to remove fallen tree, a hazard for road users.
8 Jun : I must not eat too much vinegar.
8 Jun : Mum: must relax my shoulder. Health is the most important!
8 Jun : Ascension mass 2011: we must desire for eternal life.
8 Jun : Ajahn Brahm childhood has to share room with brother, being in the same room provided opportunity for love to grow.
8 Jun : Romantic love is only the beginning of true love.
8 Jun : We may not always succeed but we do not stop trying.
8 Jun : When in stress / conflict, what would your role models would do?
3 Jun : Blessing of June 2nd, 2011: Ascension mass, Japanese dinner beef, salmon + roe stone rice, macha Royce. Thank you my lover!
1 Jun : Let the universe judge injustice
1 Jun : All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.
1 Jun : Time is like an arrow, always going in 1 direction – the future. Think of a vector. No reverse!
1 Jun : knowing != understanding
1 Jun : simple != easy
1 Jun : When life gets complicated, it is the simple things that stand out.
1 Jun : Blessing on 1st day of June 2011: lunch with a lover after bank transaction.
1 Jun : Beijing jiaozi, Shanghai xiaolongbao, onion lamian. water chestnut cake.
1 Jun : Blessing on last day of May 2011: delicious sweet slightly spicy fish tail. Thank you God!
1 Jun : Not all who wander are lost. Tolkien.

31 May : We need not wait until we have a perfect institution to make change happen – Noeleen Heyzer.
31 May : You are the writer of your own destiny.
31 May : An interior designer guessed that I am in our 30s. Beauty maintenance and upgrading please! Shall I start wear brighter dresses?
30 May : Riding train xp: some people talked with annoying tones to the phone, they annoyed other passengers too. Lesson:Talk kindly, even when angry
30 May: I feel very free when I’m riding with the wind blowing against my face.
29 May : Define yourself from within, rather than by people’s opinions or by comparisons to others.
29 May : In order to be a good learner, one has to be a good teacher.
29 May : What do I do most time? analysis and synthesis. What I wish to do more? love and share.
29 May : What is the meaning of life? We can only answer to life by answering for our own life. Frankl.
29 May : Learned LOMO today, happy! Dreamy and Surreal. As long as we are passionate and committed, nothing is impossible to be learned.
27 May : May 2011: 1665 references
27 May : Our work is cited in a report by a lab of US Dept of Energy. Motivated!
27 May : Parents who expect their children to repay their kindness are prone to disappointment.
27 May : Giovanni Pau: I learn different things from my students, from human behavior to different technical things that apply to my work, very rewarding.
27 May : As a teacher, you learn from students and reconnect.
27 May : A UCLA department scholar is allowed o receive both his undergraduate and master degree concurrently. Be a department scholar!
27 May : Art is something so long to be learned, and life is so short! Goethe.
27 May : Be a big-hearted, beautiful, brainy lady.
27 May : When I am in my 50s, 60s, I want to be like Dr LN who looks like in her 30s. She was born in the same place as me.
27 May : The same Holy Spirit who galvanized Paul lives within you.
27 May : Every read book must contribute to at least 1 breakfast! Gambatte!
27 May : spring 2011: must learn GPU computing!
27 May : Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, please pray for us.
24 May : summer 2011: I love my work place. There are many things that I have learnt. I am given plenty of opportunities to make contributions.
24 May : summer 2011: I learn broadly (analysis, people skills, leadership, diplomacy, writing) and deeply (my focused studies). Thank you!
24 May : If you have vision, don’t take advices of people that say you can’t do it.
24 May : We are indeed ignorant. 2010: I did not know what Sciences Po is. 2011: Wow! It may be the raison d’etre of many political sciences students
21 May : I love red wine. For photo shake, I must minimize red wine intake during formal dinner / lunch. Sigh! The price of beauty
20 May : Blessing of May 20, 2011: saw a beautiful lady on the train. Milk-like skin, long brown hair, sunglasses. Akin to an elegant Japanese lady!
20 May : If you want something you have never had before, you have to do something you have never done before.
20 May : The mentality of the middle to lower classes in general who perceive themselves as “fated” to remain as they are must be challenged and altered.
20 May : Must Know. Must Do. Must Teach. http://www.asean100forum.com
20 May : How often do you let superstition ruin your life? I only believe in positive superstision.
20 May : [Count my blessings]: KK original, KK green tea (bought in Narita), KK cherry / strawberry, KK orange, dark choco (UK).
20 May : Craving for Kit Kat! Wanted: KK melon.
17 May : Those who keep the peace of their inner selves in the midst of the tumult of modern city are immune from nervous diseases. Dr Alexis Carrel
17 May : Love Teresa Teng singing: seven parts sweetness, three parts tears.
17 May : Love Teresa Teng singing: like weeping and pleading, but with strength, capable of drawing in and hypnotizing listeners
16 May : [My blessings]: I have been to Austria, Slovenia, Italy, Switzerland, Germany, France, Liechtenstein. Commonalities? stretched by The Alps.
15 May : I am a lovely friend. I remember and wish you on your birthday.
15 May : I am a lovely friend. I share generously with you (experience, small treats, e-books).
15 May : I am a lovely friend. I can take photos for you with the quality akin to professionals.
15 May : I am a lovely friend. I am a good listener and keep your secrets.
15 May : I am a lovely friend. I have tonnes of motivational stories to excite you!
15 May : I am a lovely friend. I do what I promise to do, I admit what I could not do.
15 May : Sincere apologies are deposits, but repeated apologies are interpreted as insincere, resulting in withdrawals. Mentor SC.
15 May : Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values.
15 May : Habits 1, 2 and 3 (Be Proactive, Begin With The End In Mind, Put First Things First) deal with self mastery.
15 May : We must achieve independence before we can choose interdependence. Mentor SC.
15 May : It is our fears, beliefs and habits that stop us.
14 May : 害人之心不可有,防人之心不可无
14 May : Swan babies in the spring of River C. I miss you all! Spring memory 🙂
14 May : One stranger found, one friend made.
14 May : Seeing something for the last time is almost as good as the 1st. Mentor BS.
14 May : Joy is Everywhere; It is in the Earth’s green covering of grass; In the blue serenity of the Sky. Rabindranath Tagore, Joy. Mentor BS.
14 May : “We are what we think. All that we are arises. With our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world.” BUDDHA
12 May : Trust your crazy ideas. Mentor Doris Taylor Minnesota. artificial heart regrowth.
11 May : Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited but imagination encircles the world.
11 May : The incubation period for a research worker is about 4 years, so it requires 8 years before the 3rd generation of research workers appears.
11 May : Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists Oct 1973. That is 70s report, can we accelerate it now?
11 May : As long as you are going to be thinking anyway, think BIG. Mentor YH.
11 May : Knowledge is limited but imagination encircles the world. Mentor YH.
11 May : Change your thoughts and you change your world. Mentor YH.
11 May : Only I can change my life, no one can do it for me. Mentor YH.
11 May : Truth is encountered when the heart is open to a larger reality than the mind can grasp. Inspired from Lk 24:31
11 May : Unhealthy eating habits, sedentary lifestyles, environmental pollution are causing chronic illnesses on a pandemic scale. How can we solve?
11 May : it is not the unique products relative to competitors that brings success
11 May : rather it is the firm’s ability to meet the unique requirements of customers that bring success.
11 May : Honoring the past, envisioning the future of innovation. Mentor MIT
10 May : Rejuvenate education so that it again keeps up with technology. More college for more people.
10 May : 4 aspects of merits: talent, attitude, hard work, moral character. May God helps us to cultivate all these.
8 May : Only through contribution that you will find a sense in your career and life. WU Zhiqiang, chief planner of Shanghai World Expo 2010.
8 May : 千里之行, 始於足. a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
8 May : 世有伯乐,然后有千里马。千里马常有,而伯乐不常有。
8 May : Here was something they had never seen before, and it filled them with fear. “It is I. Do not be afraid.” (John 6:20)
7 May : To learn and share COMPLETELY, CONTINUOUSLY, and ENERGETICALLY
5 May : You don’t have to carry around shame over past sins. Take them to Jesus and ask him to set you free.
5 May : Nothing is too small—or too big—for God to tackle.
5 May : God’s love for us is our foundation.
5 May : St. Francis of Assisi taught that the more you give, the more you receive in return.
5 May : Our earthly treasures would eventually be worthless. Blueroselady: we carry nothing to this world, we will leave bringing nothing with us.
5 May : Investing is a good and prudent thing.
5 May : Money can enhance our relationship with God: to care for the poor, to help evangelistic efforts.
5 May : Money can give us a false sense of security and cause us to be selfish and sin against other people.
5 May : His mercy is available to all people.
5 May : I am on FIRE with enthusiasm. Thank you Russia, Switzerland, and Korea!
4 May : No pen, I used my eyebrow pencil to write. wasteful? extravagant? creative? I choose to be creative!
3 May : In order to EARN a lot, you must LEARN a lot 1st. Replace WANT TO with MUST DO.
2 May : If you can find people who think that what you’re doing is great, they’re going to do everything in their power to make it a success.
2 May : Wanted: someone who is global, successful, constructive / creative, and open with a strong desire to create value for society, self-develop.
2 May : Education shouldn’t be abt shrinking the world so it fits into your mind; it should be ab expanding our mind so that it could fit the world.
2 May : True Success in life is not measured by how much money you make, but how much of a difference you make in the life of others.
2 May : Your formal education will make you make a living; Your personal education will make you a fortune.
2 May : money, my look or even my friends, can come and go. never be able to be taken away: KNOWLEDGE, SKILL, and EXPERIENCE. Mentor MR.
2 May : When I run, I feel God’s presence. Eric Liddell.
2 May : Relationship is abt making choices: to emphasize and concentrate on our partner’s faults or on our partner’s positive qualities. Mentor MR.
2 May : By sharing, you also give others an opportunity to learn from your experience at the same time. Mentor AK.
2 May : Whenever we share something, we tend to inject our personal experience and thoughts into the knowledge. Mentor AK.
2 May : All careers and all jobs exist to create value and to make other people’s lives better. Mentor AK.
2 May : Spend time with people who inspire you to be a better husband, wife, father or mother. Mentor AK.
2 May : Stay away from friends who poison your mind and your soul. Mentor AK.
2 May : “Friends make you or they break you” Mentor AK.
2 May : Lesson 1: Success Does Not Happen By Chance…But By Choice. Lesson 2: Success Can Be Learnt.
2 May : All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.
2 May : When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you look even better.
2 May : Vision, but without Action, it’s nothing. Bible says, Faith without Works is dead.
2 May : “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve” Napoleon Hill
2 May : You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.
2 May : Be the best that you can be wherever you are!
2 May : When I educate myself, I am basically investing in myself.
2 May : I believe my life is a journey of learning more about myself and about the world around me.
2 May : The more you give, the more you’ll receive.
2 May : ABC of divine mercy. Divine Mercy A – Ask for His Mercy. B – Be merciful. C – Completely trust in Jesus.
2 May : money is NOT the MOST important thing in life; however, money can affect the most important things in life.
2 May : 3C: Capital, Contacts and Capabilities.
2 May : Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all
2 May : If your life were a bank acct, how many daily deposits and withdrawals do you make 2 May : to and from the acct of mind, body, spirit and feelings?
2 May : What is the worst thing that can happen if I don’t do this?”
2 May : Confidence makes you beautiful and beauty makes you confident!
2 May : I aspire to meet the needs of my lover in terms of spiritual, emotional, physical, social, and security.
2 May : There is a purpose why God created man and woman differently, i.e. to compliment each other.
2 May : God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
1 May : Don’t follow the fashion. Choose things that suit you, and let it be evergreen. Mentor GL, a beauty queen.
1 May : In the real world, external image is still important. Mentor GL, a beauty queen.
1 May : You must 1st have a passion to want to look good. Mentor GL, a beauty queen.
1 May : Beauty has an advantage, it can open doors for you, but beyond that, it is the substance that matters. Mentor GL, a beauty queen.
1 May : Students create the prestige of an academic institution. My students create the prestige of me as a teacher and motivator.
1 May : (VIP) keep your dreams and imagination.
1 May : “Some men see things as they are and ask why. I dream things that never were and ask, why not?” Robert Kennedy.
1 May : Einstein “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.” Recent travel opportunities, which I am grateful for, have enhanced my imagination.
1 May : Inner beauty is achieved through harmony of body, mind and soul. Staying fit, healthy, cheerful and joyful helps us to remain beautiful.
1 May : To get to where you want, you have to start where you are now.
1 May : We have to understand that SUCCESS comes in varied forms for individuals.
1 May : Each girl has her own make-up, her own purpose, intentions and goals in life.
1 May : My life ambition is to bring HOPE and HAPPINESS to all that have come in contact with me.
1 May : Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, It is because we are different that each of us is special.
1 May : And no matter how bad my life is, I chose to stay positive and see life on the brighter side.
1 May : I chose to live with high-altitude attitudes filled with optimism, enthusiasm, and excitement.
1 May : Failure comes before Success, even in the Dictionary

30 Apr: Actually, really knowing someone doesn’t mean anything. People change. A person may like pineapple today and something else tomorrow. WKW.
30 Apr : My Nikon seems to be good only for outdoor day shooting. Any suggestions ? Thank you 🙂
30 Apr : It seems that Nikon is good for scenery, but Canon is better for portrait. What should I do with my Nikon? Bring her to travel more!
30 Apr : Our stakeholders: bosses, clients, subordinates, masters, family members, friends. Many people who we have to make happy, will try our best!
30 Apr : My aspiration: To respond ASAP with kindness to my stakeholders. Thanks to the property agents who do not bother to reply us.
30 Apr : My aspiration: to serve my boss, clients, subordinates, family, and friends with a smiling face of tourism professionals. Gentle, listening.
30 Apr : Every girl wants to feel and look like a princess on her wedding day, yet not getting a drastic makeover even the groom might not recognise
30 Apr : Aspire to learn make-up as beautiful as brides.
30 Apr : Who is the most beautiful woman of the day? The bride!
24 Apr : Love more, hate nothing, fear less.
24 Apr : Focus on your possibilities, not on your own limitations.
24 Apr : Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgetten, never let it disappear. – John Lennon
24 Apr : Salad ideas: pumpkin, beetroot, avocado.
Apr 20, 2011: recently very tired. Slept on train. Health is very important.
23 Apr : Not as I will, but as You will.
22 Apr : Every man I meet is my superior in some way, In that, I learn of him. 三人行,必有我师。
22 Apr : The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.
22 Apr : saving $, long term planning, appreciating the real value of the simple things in life.
22 Apr : Passion can inspire and motivate.
19 Apr : Brand’s ads: stress and lack of rest can potentially harm our liver. Must have enough sleep!
19 Apr : GF is > 373K, hot! Blueroselady is . Colleague whom I think very talented is going to resign as he cannot see future here.
29 Mar : stomachache, must not eat drink cold for time being.
29 Mar : Browsed through countless wedding photos. Collected 518: inclusive those that I like and dislike for ref.
28 Mar : Q: Where your drives come from? A: Does it have to come from anybody?
27 Mar : Just adapt and make the best of situation.
27 Mar : It’s important to make efficient use of time when you’re at the mercy of people and situations outside your control.
27 Mar : Lesson from having beautiful eyebrows: it is not easy to get things RIGHT, and to deal with the things LEFT. For fun! Need to practise more
27 Mar : You have to constantly learn, upgrade and reinvent yourself to stay motivated and passionate.
27 Mar : A good salesperson should listen more than talk.
27 Mar : Do not like to wear make up, esp with humid weather. But make up made women look beautiful / bonita / mei / chio / kawaii!
27 Mar : Eyes are tired staring at computer. I want job that allows me to see > greenery
27 Mar : Advances are made by answering questions. Discoveries are made by questioning answers.
26 Mar : Achievement of the day: I managed to thread my upper lips.
25 Mar : Fluorescent ice cream. Who dare to eat? Who want to eat?
23 Mar : 人为什么要活着?What do people live for? DREAM. Thanks to 5 inspiring Taiwanese old chaps!
23 Mar : Facebook-ing. Search inspirations for wedding photography. A Burmese friend moved to NYC.
23 Mar : Too much of seeing kissing wedding photos. Better ideas please!
22 Mar : Why do I have to always give in to others? To my parents, siblings, lover, boss. To stay positive! Kind people are loved by God.
20 Mar : Listening to 春闺梦 now.
20 Mar : Beijing memory: I will surely return to Beijing in the future, for a promise! 2011: my promise is fulfilled! Thank you Lord.
Beijing memory: HuTong people playing table tennis or swimming at the shimmering lake, golden and pink sunset are unforgettable scenes
Beijing memory: Red trishaws, many bicycles, willow trees, Hu-tong, people having leisure walks with their family and dogs.
Beijing memoir: I saw beautiful girls wearing qi pao or skirts and round hat riding on bicycles, like in movies. Tsinghua!
Beijing memoir: We wrote our wishes and stored it in between bricks. It was so fun, keeping our secrets in Simatai.
Beijing memoir: Lakes, shimmering color of sunshines, blue sky, white cloud, and our imagination brought us to blue eagle clouds.
Beijing memoir: this is the GREAT CHINA, with the GREAT WALL. Simatai.
Beijing memoir: the Summer P man was so knowledgable, yet everyday still have to ride long distance to go back to Tsinghua. What a life!
Beijing memory: woke up at 3.30a.m to watch flag raising ceremony.
Beijing memoir: we were at the TianAnMen Square on the eve of June 4th few years ago.
Beijing memoir: I love Bi Luo Chun so much
Beijing memoir: 娶妻莫恨无良媒,书中有女颜如玉。I still prefer the real 玉女, than merely those of books.
Beijing memoir: I think I love Beijing
Beijing memoir: Mr. Cheng nowadays there’s lots of great masters, professors, but we don’t know if their qualities correlate to titles.
Beijing memoir: scientists are akin to Beijing opera singers.
Beijing memoir: watching opera is not for self-entertainment, but for betterment of human beings quality.
Beijing memoir: The best comment I received today is I am gifted to capture nice angle.
Beijing memoir: Nicole is getting married in 2 days, a happy woman. I am getting married too! Thank you for giving me a Prince Charming.
Beijing memoir: I saw Beijing Hotel, a famous one, in Tian An Men. 4 years later, I am a VIP staying at Beijing Hotel. So grateful.
Beijing memoir: Never had I thought that I would follow Lin footpath in the pursuit of knowledge. God, thank you!
Beijing memoir: Paid respect to Wen Yi Duo, Lao Se, and Lin Wei Yin @ Babaoshan.
Beijing memoir: night wind blowing on my face, on taxi back through highway.
Beijing memoir: Master: Photography is about capturing the light, which makes a picture speaks.
Beijing memoir: I think I should think more positive, I don’t have to expect too much from others, but I myself have to be better!
Beijing memoir: Temple of Heaven. An old granny lent me her kite to play for a while. They are so friendly. Chinese people are so friendly.
Beijing memoir: Liulichang ~ delicate cutting paper art, brushes, fans and kites, remind me on the movie the Blue Kite.
Beijing memoir: master said that rainy atmosphere may also good for photography, people in raincoat, reflection on water.
Beijing memoir: What Tsinghua students do for dates? study together.
20 Mar : Fr PK: let us use our time wisely. Let us be constantly alert of our final destination. Let us not be too attached to this world.
20 Mar : Mentor of 1st half of 2006 project: I don’t care about what other people think of me. Blueroselady: no way we can make all people happy.
20 Mar : Be careful of ppl who think: 女人..无所谓正派..正派是因为受到的诱惑不够..; 男人..无所谓忠诚..忠诚是因为背叛的筹码不够..
20 Mar : An attitude of extraordinary service
20 Mar : Tokyo: the difference between the best scientists and mediocre scientists: the best never take breaks.
20 Mar : Think far and act fast. Know what you want and really chase it.
19 Mar : OMG. Our priest told us: of course not everytime that penis goes into vagina, there will be a baby, or else we will be like pigs.
16 Mar : there’s definitely something good about everyone, it is just that we might not have noticed it yet. Politically correct?
16 Mar : price does not/need not equal value. So say BYE to branded stuff.
15 Mar : Live as if we were to die tomorrow. Learn as if we were to live forever.
15 Mar : Learning is like rowing upstream, if we do not advance, we will fall backwards.
15 Mar : Diligence, perseverance, respect, humility.
15 Mar : Education is the best lifelong asset that parents can give to their children.
15 Mar : keep on learning new skills throughout my lives because this is just the beginning of my long journey.
15 Mar : As the saying goes, do also die, don’t also die. So why not do your best and then die?
15 Mar : Our achievements are only limited by our dreams!
15 Mar : I want to improve my English, to have opportunity to work with people from different backgrounds globally, to intercross disciplines.
15 Mar : willingness to undergo transformation and desire to gain global experience
15 Mar : In our daily life, we practice reducing, reusing, and recycling.
15 Mar : The happiest moment in my life is when I went to the mountains beaches, staring @ the stunning scenes & capturing those through my lenses.
15 Mar : Arts such as visual art, literature, music and movies, are universal throughout the human race.
14 Mar: Start everyday with a smile 🙂
14 Mar : I always tell myself it is up to me to feel that I am an alien or I am a unique individual, who can add colors to others’ life.
14 Mar : Be strict with yourself, but be benevolence towards others.
14 Mar : Love your enemy. But don’t forget he is not your friend. Paulo Coelho.
14 Mar : Now, better not to go to Japan. If you need to go to Japan: wear thick clothes.
13 Mar : Love wisteria かんざし kanzashi (发棒)!
13 Mar : Learnt how to make bow hair. Cute! Happy! Thank you Lord
13 Mar : Please pray for people in Japan and Pacific.
13 Mar : Inhale OLBAS OIL to relieve my blocked nose.
12 Mar : COMPLIMENTS are a big form of flirting. Say something nice about how well he dresses, or how good of a listener he is.
9 Mar : To marry trust, one must be a widow of certainty.
9 Mar : People who are average in one job can become stars in another.
9 Mar : Pay attention to what your partner is really saying.
9 Mar : Don’t get dragged into a battle of egos. Just smile and let them think they are right!
9 Mar : 生命的偉大在於他的微小; 生命的力量在於他的脆弱; 生命的永恆在於他的短暫
8 Mar : A lot of the advice we receive from others is good advice that we foolishly reject.
8 Mar : A lot of the advice we receive from others is bad advice that we foolishly accept.
8 Mar : We don’t just treasure our memories; we ARE our memories.
6 Mar : “Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one’s living at it.” — Albert Einstein
6 Mar : People do not care about us. This is not because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because PEOPLE are mostly FOCUSED ON THEMSELVES.
6 Mar : To do, we have to learn. To learn, we have to read.
6 Mar: 钱再多也有花完的时候。有本事就走遍天下,不偷不抢,就靠本事。 From the King of Masks.
6 Mar : Always surround ourselves with successful happy people. Those people’s attributes will become a part of us.
6 Mar : the THANKFUL HEART is always close to the RICHES of the UNIVERSE.
6 Mar : Happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a habit. We must choose happiness.
6 Mar : By praying together, we stay together.
5 Mar : We must be VERY CAREFUL to give our subconscious only those suggestions that HEAL, BLESS, ELEVATE, and INSPIRE us in all our ways.
5 Mar : 微笑露一点. 理由少一点. 做事多一点. 脾气小一点. 行动快一点. 干活细一点. 嘴巴甜一点.说话轻一点. 脑子活一点. 胆子大一点. 自信多一点. 最后还有一点, 就是,做人善良一点.
5 Mar : We are ALIVE. We can feel good for NO REASON AT ALL!
5 Mar : Happiness comes from within.
5 Mar : True belief in God does not put God to the test, even when we do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
5 Mar : The first road to God is prayer, the second is joy.
5 Mar : Learning something means coming into contact with a world of which you know nothing. In order to learn, you must be HUMBLE
5 Mar : Keep on perfecting skin. That’s how the professional do it, because face will eventually become oily and it does not look nice.
5 Mar : As an employee or subordinate, we can only be “low” (low-profile, don’t compete with them. if you are better than them, don’t show it.
5 Mar : Ma Ma said to An Qi, “If I had to hate and berate someone every day I wake up, life would be that much more tedious.”
5 Mar : You never know what will happen to you when you achieve a little fame.
5 Mar : “Buy land. They’ve stopped making it,” Mark Twain.
5 Mar : Today’s work will prepare us for tomorrow’s opportunities.
5 Mar : “There is no security in life, only opportunity.” Mark Twain
5 Mar : 24-12-09 Mass sermon highlights that we are to be hopeful, hopeful because of Jesus’ love.
5 Mar : Learn from Corbis (1st 20 pages). Keyword “couples”.
4 Mar : No matter how senior or successful we are, we can project an image of being bored, aloof and unfriendly if we send out the wrong signals.
4 Mar : STAY POSITIVE. Don’t worry about the past or the future.
3 Mar : Never argue, demean, or shout at someone.
3 Mar : . The process of criticism SHOULD BEGIN WITH PRAISE and HONEST APPRECIATION.
3 Mar : Said business school ads: “The Oxford experience: lasts you a lifetime”. Really?
3 Mar : Choice is not an goal in itself.
3 Mar : Renata Salecl: the search for the perfect partner is likely to leave 1 lonely in old age: tolerance & resilience are better.
3 Mar : The MORE $ u have, the MORE choice u have. The more CHOICEs u have, the happier u are.
3 Mar : Julius Baer: private banking group from Swiss, with 120 years of tradition.
3 Mar : Onsi Sawiris. Orascom.
3 Mar : What do a Swiss ski resort, an airbase in Afghanistan, a Nigerian fertiliser plant and North Korea’s only mobile phone network hv in common?
3 Mar : Tibet is the site of possibly the fastest case of human evolution through natural selection is the history of mankind.
3 Mar : How to balance rival interests? Learn from the al Saud kings?
3 Mar : Deutsche Bank: best global investment bank 2010
3 Mar : Location. Location. Location.
2 Mar : admire panda who can still stay calm and focused on work in spite of being back-stabbed.

27 Feb: Live your life as simply as you are.
27 Feb: Money doesn’t create man but it is the man who creates money.
27 Feb: Don’t get flattered by cheap praises; don’t be sad by criticisms.
27 Feb: When we are taking photographs, we should think that they are our respects to beautiful sceneries created by God.
27 Feb: When we are taking photographs, we should think that they are our love letter to our beloved ones.
27 Feb: O God, help me all day every day to look on the bright side of things, and to see the best in people.
27 Feb: It’s always hard everywhere, you just try your best.
27 Feb: Losing everything is not the end of world. Learnt from Christina Dodwell talk.
27 Feb: It’s more important to be doing the right things than doing things right.
26 Feb : Took ~350 photos in a day. Tired
19 Feb : Tough times don’t last, tough people do.
19 Feb : It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
16 Feb : loves talented guitarist Sungha Jung.
Online lectures / studying materials: http://academicearth.org/
Be indefatigable
11 Feb : Money should never change one’s values… Making money is only a report card.
10 Feb : ASSOCIATION – CONCENTRATION – REPETITION are the 3 chief allies of memory!
7 Feb : What other people think of you is none of your business. Mentor PC, author of Alchemist.
8 Feb : These four – Worry, Fear, Hate, and Jealousy – are the ravages of good health. Your body and mind must both be right to be healthy.
3 Feb : Gardening came to Japan in the 6th century with Chinese culture and Buddhism, but gardening is long lost in China.

30 Jan : Learning about cherry blossom (sakura). Beautiful, yet a symbol of impermanence of life. Cherish them while they are still around.
29 Jan : I cannot believe that my Darling is so win-liking.
Why human beings like to win?
27 Jan : Should I look for a mentor from Insead after England? Advices are appreciated
27 Jan : Share my Portugal photos with a friend (sometimes a foe) who will visit there soon. Photos and videos can bring back happy memory.
27 Jan : May peace prevail on earth. Goi Foundation. Thank you!
27 Jan : How to reduce carbon footprint? Buy and consume less. Hans Tammemagi.
22 Jan : To those to whom much has been given, much is expected.
money is only a tool – use it but do not let it use you.
21 Jan : How to remove google ads from my wordpress?
9 Jan : Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
2 Jan : Our greatest glory is not never failing, but in rising up everytime we fail. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

2010
31 Dec: I wish one day I could read stories to orphan, be kind to others, doing God’s will
27 Dec : Grown by nature, developed by science. Grown by altruism, developed by capitalism.
21 Dec : Caught 2 fishes in my dream. Dear mum said it is a good one.
14 Dec : People are happy to help, but only when one asks at an appropriate time.
14 Dec : Ask for help and ask early. Even when one thinks that all will be well, ask anyway.
14 Dec : People often get smart by pushing themselves hard and surrounding themselves with others doing the same.
14 Dec : Life isn’t fair, except when it is. Life isn’t fair and we will all move on to productive mindsets when we abandon our quest for fairness.
14 Dec : Don’t follow your mentors, follow your mentors’ mentors.
14 Dec : A McKinsey expression: the happiest consultants have one foot out the door.
slow to anger, quick to forgive
13 Dec : Education isn’t just about teaching children to read and write, it’s about teaching them lessons for life.
12 Dec : Have a good Sunday, God blesses everyone!
11 Dec : If we have a dream, we should not waste our energies explaining why.
4 Dec : In Sep-Dec 2010, I work 7 days a week. I deserve holidays in 2011!
4 Dec : 博爱calligraphy by Dr Sun Yat-Sen.
4 Dec : How to prepare for a dinner with colleagues? Darling advices: ask Q, listen.

29 Nov : 助人为乐、知足长乐、自得其乐.
28 Nov : Funny dream: a pink hair lady helped me to repair my bike. She has to finish her thesis, yet she still go for drinking session.
28 Nov : Colleagues are at the same time friends and enemies. We are to be helpful, forgiving to them. We must not bad-mouth, but good-mouth them.
25 Nov : Money Making Recipe (Hong-kong Drama). Buy stocks of the company that you are familiar with. Venturing to China. Sounds so Lynch.
20 Nov : When we are young, we spend all our health chasing wealth and when we are old, we spend all our wealth to stay healthy
19 Nov : Not feeling well. Pray and rest at home. May get a stomach flu.
18 Nov : Blessing of the day: Hong Kong wife biscuit without flying to HK. Dinner of Santouka ramen. Thank you Lord!
17 Nov : Admire Dong Mingzhu
17 Nov : Perseverance!
17 Nov : 活到老,学到老.
17 Nov : I hate facebook, perhaps I should deactivate it permanently :(. My mentor asked me to work.
17 Nov : God, we are so sinful that we don’t even know what we wished for. Give us what you think is the best for us.
17 Nov : I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was duty. I acted, and behold, duty was joy.
14 Nov : My boss said that he has 500 things to do. The art of talking big seems worth learning.
11 Nov : Intrepid Baltic will see Helsinki, Tallinn, Riga, Curonian Spit, Vilnius, Aukstaitija National Park, Warsaw, Berlin. Dreaming to be there 🙂
Wants to see Baltic. Intrepid has a tour (excluding inbound flight to Helsinki and outbound flight from Berlin) costs GBP 1540+Euro 400.
10 Nov : Motingya = fish soup (Burma national dish). Know a Burmese colleague, a Burmese undergrad mate. Pray for peace in the country.
10 Nov : Read Alvin Roth (game theory prof who are more applicable).
10 Nov : Kyle MacDonald from Canada: the red paper clip story on creating value. trading until he ends up with a house.
2 Nov : I am sad: church attack in Baghdaq. God please give strength to the families of the victims and please forgive those sinners.

31 Oct : Heard about news of Taksim Square suicide bomb. Sad. Hope for peace to prevail on earth. We were at the Taksim Sq in August.
31 Oct : ESTA now costs $14 to apply. I am not going to US in the near future (at least in these 2 years), perhaps I will save $14.
31 Oct : Thanks God for letting me see US 3x in a consecutive three years. I am a grateful and lucky babe.
17 Oct : We miss our beautiful lunch together at Mykii, there will be other Mykii-alike in the future, must think +ve.
16 Oct : Faith = taking God’s promises and daring to believe them.
16 Oct : We must not trust only our feeling which can be changeable and may even be deceptive at times but rely instead on God’s promises
11 Oct : An example of scientific creativity is to use hand metaphor to describe the global structure of polymerase
11 Oct : For everything you have lost, you have gained something else. For everything you have gained, you have lost something else.
8 Oct : I want Dad and Darling to at least try the famous kopi luwak once in a lifetime. It is sold so expensive at 313.
1 Oct : Liver cancer, gastric cancer, esophageal cancer, Hepatitis B, affects ~10% Chinese but only a tiny number of people in the US (West).

30 Sep : Darling loves to listen to the singing of John Denver, a never-give-up guy.
7 Sep : Chinese proverb ‘No one who can rise before dawn 360 days a year fails to make his family rich’
7 Sep : Pls guide me to see SOMETHING UNUSUAL in my research. Think Tipping Point, Blink, Outlier.
6 Sep : CONFIDENCE must not always come after COMPETENCE. We can be confident 1st and persevere until we become competent.
6 Sep : Rich is in our heart. Darling from reading Bible.
5 Sep : Helping a friend of a mentor taking the SHL test. Reminds me on GRE. haha.
5 Sep : All things are made of atoms – Richard Feynman
2 Sep : Education is the movement from darkness to light. Allan Bloom.

30 Aug : Bosphorus: a narrow strait btw Black Sea and Marmara Sea. 12-19 million people.
30 Aug : Sunscreen & make-up cling to our skin. Need to exfoliate before we can absorb serum.
30 Aug : When applying make-up with fingers, use ring fingers -> avoid more wrinkles
30 Aug : He says that I got a Cameron Diaz-alike smile. Thanks!
30 Aug : ClaridenLeu says have the ambition to exceed expectations.
30 Aug : Finished washing Champion shoes, worn for skydiving. Thought of my frugal Mum and Grandma.
30 Aug : If opportunity does not knock at our door, we go knocking at it.
30 Aug : “The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.” Linus Pauling
26 Aug : Thirsty of knowledge and competencies in science, education, art and innovation.
20 Aug : You can observe a lot by watching. Yogi Berra.
17 Aug : Warren Buffett 对诱惑很有免疫能力. Must learn from him!
16 Aug : Scientific success needs 4Gs (Geduld, Geschick, Gluck und Geld – Patience, Ability, Luck, and Money) – Paul Ehrlich
12 Aug : 平凡。稳重。 浩然之气。 学会放弃,懂得选择。
9 Aug : A good composition establishes a sense of HARMONY between light, lines, balance, framing, and timing.
9 Aug : Black and white are the colours of photography. Alternatives of HOPE and DESPAIR to which mankind is forever subjected. Robert Frank.
9 Aug : Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.
6 Aug : 读万卷书,行万里路,圆万个梦。
6 Aug : 酸乐八极!
6 Aug : HSBC ads on a photographer childhood “To seek potential in everything”.
6 Aug : 钱再多也有花完的时候。有本事就走遍天下,不偷不抢,就靠本事。
5 Aug : Unicef UK Pakistan Flood Children. A gift of £30 could immunise more than 45 children against killer diseases.
5 Aug : All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.
3 Aug : The Flickr free account can only accommodate 200 photos to be viewed. Do you know if there are any other similar stuff to Flickr?
1 Aug : How to save / download a video from youtube? Use firefox adds-on, right click to download the videos.
1 Aug : The priest asked: Do you use people for money or do you use money for people?
1 Aug : Bad apples are good apples that have become rotten, and we should not consider all apples bad after finding a few bad ones.
1 Aug : There is a place that you are to fill and no one else can fill, something you are to do, which no one else can do.

30 Jul : 一步難,一步佳。- Echoes Of the Rainbow (2010)
30 Jul : The early bird gets the biggest worm. Must wake up early, sleep early for body to recover!
30 Jul : You should start caring about yourself first before taking care of others.
30 Jul : Not that you are trying to be selfish, but rather, you are trying to protect yourself.
30 Jul : Too much commitments in life will not going to help you much either. Learn to let go some and focus on only few of them.
30 Jul : Do not let anyone make us feel doubtful / ashamed of our desire to be RICH.
30 Jul : At its deepest level, it is a desire for a FULLER, HAPPIER, MORE WONDERFUL life. It is a COSMIC URGE.
28 Jul : Your brain has two parts: the left & the right. Your left brain has nothing right, and your right brain has nothing left.
28 Jul : Let us make sure that ppl will remember us for the things tt we do rather than remembering us for not doing the things tt we are supposed to
28 Jul : Do not measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but what you should have accomplished with your ability. – John Wooden.
28 Jul : I race with a philosophy not to regret what I do, meaning, not to cross the finishing line and think I could have done better.
28 Jul : In the past, I wrote “I have very committed team members who are willing to attend meetings even past midnight.”
2 Jul : “The simplest questions are usually the hardest to answer” -Anonymous-
1 Jul : Love more, hate nothing, fear less
29 Jun : 知足长乐!
29 Jun : 害人之心不可有,防人之心不可无 Learn to listen. Think thrice before talking.
26 Jun : Asahi + Kirin + diamond plan + laughters made a boring Brazil vs Portugal match enjoyable.
26 Jun : Lesson from boss visa mess: (1) Rules do change, (2) never assume.
23 Jun : Part 2: And then I get together with my office and try to sell it. Film-maker John Waters.
23 Jun : From Monday to Friday, I get up at 6 am, read six or seven papers and then by 8, 23 Jun : I think of something weird.
23 Jun : I want to watch Ip Man: The legend is born.
23 Jun : “我也相信,人生不要太圓滿,有個缺口讓福氣流向別人是很美的一件事.”
23 Jun : A nightmare that my first uncle has passed away. Our death is guaranteed, but the timing is uncertain. To give the best in our living days.
23 Jun : IT tips of the day: To color our note in notepad++, save as vb file. Thanks Darling!
18 Jun : After stranded flights, sleep deprivation, and losing 6% of body weight, I feel so airy.
18 Jun : What are seen 2x in a moment but not a year? “M”
16 Jun : The ability to FOCUS and RE-FOCUS on positive stuff (images, memories) are very important.

29 May : We can use sake as a toner at night (use cotton ball). I love this song: All the Pretty Horses (Harp Lullaby)
27 May : My favorite travel guide books are by DK Eyewitness Travel
25 May : Why does Strasbourg Cathedral only has 1 tower?
25 May : I am grateful for today dinner: cereal prawn, yam with mushroom chicken, spinach, and Chinese herbal soup.
1 May : Happy Labour Day, I am inspired by octagenarians who still actively pursuit their career / job. Publicity to prevent ppl to retire, grinned
1 May : Both Hodgkins held academic appointments at Oxford, and they raised their three children there with the help of the Hodgkin grandparents.

29 Apr : When we photograph the same subject, depending on the angles we shoot, they may give different results, look beautiful or boring.
24 Apr : When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.
24 Apr : There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and others.
19 Apr : I am with you till the end of time” Mt 28:20
14 Apr: Seuss: I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.
4 Apr : Spring flowers are popping up almost as fast as happy thoughts of you! Happy Easter!

23 Mar : Life is a curve with a lot of turning points, while smile is the only CURVE that made everything straight.
23 Mar : Time may be a good healer but a horrible beautician. Let us age beautifully, with love ❤
23 Mar : 1040 Christianity in the New Asia. It's not that kind of worship I favor, but I respect others approaches to worship.
23 Mar : 1040 Christianity in the New Asia. I just checked the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkQVzkpJbF8.
14 Mar : I could not hide my excitement, I got my first new SLR yesterday. I made a juice of MAPS (milk + apple + papaya + strawberry) for Darling.
13 Mar : with people, I am resolved to share only good things. We adopt 2Fs: forgive and forget. Peace!
1 Mar: The priest adviced, "Desire no earthly stuff ($ and fame), but strive to make + commitments to the earth".

26 Feb : We can use toothpaste applied overnight on skin to ease our pimples!
21 Feb : For 30 years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, da Vinci and the Renaissance
21 Feb : Hainan property prices sky-rocket.
15 Feb : I had a beautiful sweet dream cruising and appreciating beautiful sceneries of the States from my wooden cabin window. Love !
12 Feb : We could fail not coz lack the opportunities to succeed; but are unwilling to do tiny things,or are not brave enough to take the first step.

2009
3 Aug : In 2005, I wrote that I don’t know what I want in life. It is still the same in 2009, though I know I want to be useful for others.
Every girl has a type. A man. A hairstyle. A dress.
24 Jul : I just found out today, Jonathan Brandis, the actor who play in my childhood favorite movie, seaquest, has died 😦
17 Jul : Today, I have a cookies-diet, not planning to eat anything, consequency of last night over-eating.
16 Jul : My fortune cookie from Szechuan restaurant: It is not the outside riches but the inside ones that produce happiness.
16 Jul : I am so lazy to exercise, yet I got to do once in a while, which is ‘sprint in order not to miss shuttle’.
18 Jun : AM, walked from home to the lab. Took me 45 min. Scarry part is to have cross highway entrance 2x. I’ll patiently wait for the shuttle bus.
12 Jun : 12-Jun-6am-plus: When I collected clothes, I saw a bunny, happy!
1 Jun : I woke up at 4.30 am on 1st June, to kick start working!

28 May : Dad and Mum think that I look beautiful in the photos I sent them last weekend, well my parents used to think that I am their ugly duckling
25 May : Bought a bit of groceries at Sainsbury, and I found Friji milkshake with Homer’s face, so I bought it as Darling likes The Simpsons.
25 May : I had a satisfying lunch of salmon and potatoes at King’s, then went to claim my free hot drink at Millies.
22 May : God gives us talents. Never underestimate anybody, based on his past & current. We will never know what one can do in the future.
21 May : The more literature review I read, the more confused I become.
21 May : Washing machines now hv more comp power than the Kendrew comp and synchrotrons offer X-rays a trillion times more brilliant than in Cam 50 yrs ago.
20 May : Darling said don’t strive for people acceptance, strive for God’s acceptance. I will remember that.
20 May : These days the sun is so bright that I have to squint my eyes.
19 May : My supervisor has not had a chance to look at the draft I slipped under the door last Fri. I got new ideas for this work as well.
17 May : Just come back from a walk with 傻喜, she is so excited.
16 May: Why 傻喜 loses a lot of fur? I hope she will not be botak.
11 May : Bought organic products from Arjuna on Mill Rd. More expensive than Sainsbury, but I support free trade by buying from Arjuna. Hurray!

Written by blueroselady

August 28, 2011 at 10:05 am

Posted in fun

Tagged with

Miscellaneous 2011

leave a comment »

Health
avoid rain water, can spread rat urine infected with leptospirosis, especially in crowded and developing cities.

Most back and shoulder aches stem from poor posture as most people spend most of their lives in front of a desk.
We need to get up and stretch ONCE EVERY HOUR to loosen the muscles and decompress our lower back.
Walk, not jog, at least 2x a week.
To keep stress, anger, and unforgiveness is worse than having a physical teacher.
Ref: a pilate teacher Alvin Giam

What to do when your hand is scalded?
Instead of putting ice or toothpaste (which will contract the skin and worsen the blister), dip into a cup of room temperature water.

How to treat acid reflux ?
make lifestyle changes
over-the-counter medication

Common symptoms of acid reflux:
burping, belching
sour / bitter taste in mouth
feel a burning sensation in throat / chest (heartburn)
cough at night
dry / sore throat
hoarseness in morning
worsening of asthma

Consequences of Long-Term acid reflux : oesophagitis, sricture, barrett’s oesophagus.

Certain food may worsen reflux, please avoid:
chocolates, sweet deserts, high fat / spicy foods, curry, citrus fruits, garlic, onion, tomatoes, tomato-based products.
beverages e.g. citrus juices (orange, lemon), alcohol, coffee, tea.

Tips:
eat regular meals, small portions each time.
avoid eating 2-3 hours before sleep
lose weight if you are overweight
stop smoking
elevate head of your bed by 6-8 inches.
avoid stres
Ref: Andrea Rajnakova

Finance trends

Michael Hasenstab
fund manager. Templeton Global Bond Fund.
PhD in economics at Australian National University, Canberra.
honeymoon climbing Mt Kilimanjaro with wife Mary Ann
focus on sovereigns and forex, many other global funds buy gov, corporate, and supranational debt.

To Hasenstab, most developed markets are overly indebted and overleveraged, and they offer far more risk than return potential from their paltry interest rates.

In 2007, before the credit crisis, 70% of his portfolio was in mature markets. But then he realised the US financial crisis would spread globally. Solution? he shorted the euro, while buying currencies with current-account surpluses, including CHF and JPY. He boosted holdings in countries where he expected sizable rate cuts, among them Australia, NZ, Chile, South Korea, Mexico. Anticipating the flight to USD, he hedged most of his emerging-market currency exposure.

In finance, short selling (also known as shorting or going short) is the practice of selling assets, usually securities, that have been borrowed from a third party (usually a broker) with the intention of buying identical assets back at a later date to return to the lender. It is a form of reverse trading. The short seller hopes to profit from a decline in the price of the assets between the sale and the repurchase, as the seller will pay less to buy the assets than the seller received on selling them. Conversely, the short seller will incur a loss if the price of the assets rises.
Those who short, expect price to decrease.

Hasenstab believes that over the next few years, US rates will rise and JPY will fall.

SAFETY
Women beware!
If a couple takes taxi in Arab countries, guys go up 1st. Ladies come out 1st. Why? My mentor told me got cases where the ladies were kidnapped.

PRAWNING
I love to read and learn from others.

From: 5 Life Lessons I Learned From Prawning (Prawning Tips Included)
1) Fat opportunities don’t come to you. You have to go to them.
2) People help those they like; therefore, be likeable.
3) Be willing to make changes, however unpleasant.
4) Observe what others are doing and MODEL them as best you can.
5) FOCUS

ONE MAN’S RUBBISH, ANOTHER MAN’S REFUGE
the risk of being run over by garbage trcuks / buried under the trash
health risks like tetanus
Let us remember the parable of the Good Samaritan

@~@
Summer 2011: I have never heard of U Mannheim (the Harvard of Germany), until I learned about CF, probably as young as my sister. See you soon.

Summer 2011: to be competititive, one needs to prepare visume (video resume).

Summer 2011: I had a writing course in a very cold room. Tips: you can use the heat of laptop to warm your hands.

Employer: Our company place cleanliness as the highest value. Do you clean your shoes against the mat when you came in?
Job applicant: Yes, Sir.
Employer: Actually, there is no mat.
Moral of the story: honesty is the best policy

Written by blueroselady

August 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Tips: wedding

leave a comment »

Preparing for our once-in-a-lifetime event, excited!

decide what the must-haves and wish-to-have are.
Go personal, you don’t have to invite everyone and his neighbour. Each guest increases your costs drastically.
Be creative. You don’t have to hold your banquet in grand expensive places. Think museums, country clubs, gardens of rich friends. Or look for an all-inclusive package to save costs.
Smaller boutiques usually carry popular styles at a fraction of designer boutiques’ cost. Renting is also a cheaper option. Borrow your accessories if you could.

@~@
I want Wong Kar Wai style photographs.
Your happiness is in your own hands. Think positive. Expect the unexpected.
“The best shots reflect a relaxed simplicity, as if the couple isn’t posing at all.”
Playfulness Incorporated. Let me transport you and your lover back to childhood memories.
Sepia lends an old world charm to the photograph, creating a timelessness that will never date.

@~@
1. Pride goes before a fall

Just as the age-old adage goes, where your relationship is concerned you should put aside your pride and instead, focus on solving the problem in an unbiased way. Marriage is not about who is right or wrong, it’s not a competition, its more important than that, and very often we tend to overlook its significance by getting side tracked by inconsequential matters.
2. Make up before the day ends

Constructive fighting is good for any relationship, as it helps your relationship grow and clarify differences. However, it is important not to go to bed before making up. By delaying resolving the problem, all you are doing is causing the resentment to fester and get worse, therefore, no matter how angry you may be, make the effort to solve the problem before either of you hit the sack.
3. Say you are sorry when you are wrong

If you are in the wrong, swallow that pride and admit it, no good will come about if you don?. Be mature and show your partner that even though you are mad, embarrassed and filled to the brim with pride, you are still willing to put all that aside to make the relationship work.
4. Talk, share and get connected

Remember how you used to tell your partner everything that went on in your life? Well, don? stop. By sharing your thoughts, experiences and feelings with each other, you are building a bond between yourselves. The key to a successful marriage is a strong friendship, so go head and be friends again.
5. If it’s going to hurt, bite your tongue

If what you are going to say will cause unnecessary hurt, just bite your tongue. Constructive criticism is good, but destructive criticism which is fuelled by spite and pettiness will just erode your relationship and causes more harm than good, so ask yourself, what your objective is before you utter those spiteful words.
6. Save the criticism for when you get home

Suppress your desire to lash out at your partner in public or to others. Show him / her, the respect they deserve by saving the tongue lashing for when you get home. Airing your dirty laundry to others would result in your partner losing face. Remember your vows, to ‘cherish each other for better or for worse’, well remember them whenever you are filled with desire to rant.
7. Have a little love

Having sex frequently releases endorphins, burns calories and reduces stress. It also helps you to get closer to each other. So make the time for a quick romp or if time is really a constraint, then some heavy petting would also suffice. 🙂

@~@
Focus on ‘us’ not ‘me’

A marriage is a partnership, but quite often, many couples get married and continue to live like they did when they were single. Although it is important for some ‘me’ time, it is also important to share your experiences with your mate, as this builds bonds and brings a couple closer together. Because most of us spend over 10 hours a day at work, it is understandable that you end up confiding your frustrations and joys to your colleagues, and when you get home, you have nothing much to say to your partner, having unburdened yourself on your work mates. The problem with this is that, you are left with literally nothing much to talk about when you get home and this may result in your partner feeling excluded from your life.
Find time to be together

It’s easy to suggest but impossible to do, but do try and make some time for each other every day. Even if it is for an hour, simply sharing the mundane daily goings-on will make your partner feel included in your life and this feeling of inclusion will bring the two of you closer together. Try to make it a point to spend at least one day of the week to re-explore each other. A romantic dinner, a trip to the cinema or theatre, a walk in the park, any of these simple activities will help restore or maintain intimacy between the two of you.
A little time to be kind

The stress of our daily routines often makes it too easy not to be as polite or civil to our partners as we could be. It’s important to remember that our partners need and deserve that courtesy the most. So take the time to recognize all that your partner does each day, show your appreciation for the efforts by thanking him or her for things done and give high praise. It’s easy to get so swamped and overwhelmed by work that you simply forget to tell your partner that you love them. Make an effort to tell and show your partner how much he or she means to you. Hold his or her hand, give a kiss on the way out the door, put a love note in the lunchbox, and compliment your partner in public. All of these acts demonstrate your love for your husband / wife.
Listen with empathy

Communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Developing good listening skills can help you build and maintain emotional empathy. A good listener doesn’t just understand the words another person is saying. He or she also understands the meaning behind the words, and acknowledges that the meaning was understood. This type of listening is called empathic listening and makes the speaker feels that what he / she says is of importance. Practicing empathic listening can lead to good relationships, emotional intimacy, and contented marriages. Unlike just hearing the words someone says, empathic listening demonstrates to the listener that you truly understand and care about what he or she thinks and feels.
Relive your courting days

Remember how much time you spent together before marriage? All those late nights spent just walking around, simply enjoying being next to each other? Those marathon conversations you both had about nothing and everything? Relive the exhilaration, the fervour and the closeness that you both shared. Don’t postpone it for tomorrow; life is so fragile; there may not be a tomorrow. As morbid as this may sound, you should value the time you have together, so if anything bad should happen, you would have no regrets.

Finding your soul mate is something that each and everyone of us dreams of, so if you have found the man / woman worthy of this title, cherish them and live every day together like it is your last.

Written by blueroselady

February 27, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Posted in family

Tagged with , , , , ,