Blueroselady's Weblog

I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

Giving gives you happiness

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People whom I think deserve listening to and learning from, advocate giving. When we give, we will feel happy.

I have given many things in my life:
Smile.
$$$.
Time.
Gifts.
Things for donation.
Talent.
Energy / sweat.
Blood.
Encouragement.
I hope to give wisdom in the near future.

Most time I am happy to give, but there are times I am forced to give by circumstances.
For example, once a woman asked my man to help her take photo, then she asked me to lend her my (beautiful) hat. I was unwilling because it was drizzling and I did not feel well, yet I still gave in to her request.
This is a very small example, in work / school we are often / sometimes / rarely forced to give as well.

Why are we sometimes unhappy to give?
1. The receiver has more than us. They already have more / better things yet they insist / trick us to give to them.
E.g. An acquaintance WT who spent $ to study in US, then she got a scholarship to study in UK, mentioned that a beggar earns 50% more than her per month (the beggar’s income is in news in summer 2012).

2. There are imbalance of forces / power. People of authority (parents, teachers, bosses) make you to do things in which you have to give more than what you are willing to give.

3. There are inequality of contribution from collaborators / co-workers / team members in giving and receiving. A solution is to enter the joint efforts with the attitude of "giving without expecting to receive", but this does not serve the purpose of group synergy. When you collaborate, you want 1 + 1 = 3 or more. Perhaps not all collaboration makes everyone happy, if this is the case and you find yourself giving more than what you should, you can try to move on to another project then.

4. Naturally, it makes sense not to give to your competitors (e.g. in business), unless you want to turn them into your collaborators. I think the latter strategy is excellent. When you cannot beat your competitors, you join them, which I did well in summer 2009.

5. Emotion / personal likes and dislikes / chemistry. We just like some people more than others, e.g. our good / kind friends. A girlfriend of mine is rich from working in bank and claiming insurance, yet I still love to give her gifts because I love her. We have been friends for ages and I found her like my elder sister (whom I never have), wise and kind. On contrary, we may find it hard to like (hopefully very few) people. E.g. Can you like your housemate if he always leaves post-excretion signs on your toilet bowl? Can you like your neighbor who blast loud music when you want to sleep? No matter what, even if our likes and dislikes for different people vary, we will still try our best to see everyone equally. After all, we are all children of God.

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Written by blueroselady

January 5, 2013 at 8:24 am

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