Blueroselady's Weblog

I wish you abundant happiness, health & wealth

I want to protect and earn $ for my baby

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On the third Friday in Aug 2012, I was taking a public train to go home. My journey home takes 1 hour.
After walking and standing in a crowded train, I just got to sit for few minutes to close my eyes then a woman asked me to stand up to give up my seat for a strong man carrying a baby.
I was on medical leave the day before because I felt dizzy and I still felt dizzy and tired.
I felt like crying and telling her "I also carry my baby".
Fortunately the man indicated that he is alighting at the next stop.

Well, pregnant women can be weepy, so I just have to be aware of that fact. No need to cry for a small thing like this.
That woman was just trying to be nice to the baby, without her knowing that she was being the opposite to my baby.
It was the woman who laid her hand with contact to me while I was standing, but I did not bother because she is a woman and she did that to hold a handgrill, she actually held two so she body contacted me. It is ok that my personal space was crossed, I could tolerate, but I was upset when she asked me to stand up.
Perhaps, in future, I will carry a little card, "sorry, I am carrying my baby" and show to the person who asks a seat from me, if I feel tired / dizzy and do not want to give up my seat.

I have been pregnant for several months, but my bump is not showing much.
My obs-gyn said this is because I am slim.
I read that this is also because of my 1st pregnancy, my muscles are still very tight.
But I was not spared from morning sickness, heartburn, and dizziness. The dizziness is worrying because it possesses hazard when you are traveling on your own, with no family members.
I tried my best to walk slowly, closer to the side of path so that I can quickly hold on to the wall or column if I need, and avoid people who need to rush. It is just like driving on the slower lane to let the faster cars to take over.
From my experience taking public train commuting to work every weekday, there was only once a middle age man kindly offered me to sit. I was so grateful and thanked him. I noted that as a blessing in 2012. Yes, I count my blessings.
Many times I have to fight for my seat.
I also have to be careful especially at the interchange stations, where people were often running to catch the train before the doors close. The next train will arrive in less than 5 minutes! How fast can they be by running and being a hazard to people like me.
I also have to use my both hands to protect my tummy from people carrying big rucksacks / bags including well-dressed professionals, or people to eager to get into the train before those who are alighting come out, sometimes I am holding my hands in fists so I have extra strength to prevent being bumped by careless people.
It is ok, I have no expectation from the world.

I used to get home late to avoid the crowd, but now I have severe heartburn that I have to eat my dinner at least few hours before sleeping. The heartburn gets worse with pregnancy, and I feel tired after a day at work.
I am tempted to leave work early, but I feel that it is not responsible to do so.
Sometimes, it makes me think of what I want to do in this life.
Perhaps, if I have a car, I do not have to squeeze with many people. If I have more $, I can take a taxi.
Honestly, people are nicer when supplies are more than demands, and vice versa.
Sometimes, I think the working crowd is cruel, or perhaps it is just my perception.
Well, they are tired from working, which are different from people who go out to relax at the park.
Perhaps, I am living in a competitive society and country.
If I can do my work at home, or I have flexible working hours, my quality of life will be better.
I am really looking into it.
I want to earn more $ too, so that I can give better healthcare, education, and opportunities for my children.
I want to have more time to spend with my children, instead of working for other people.
In the past, I was happy with my pay because I feel that my job allows me to contribute to great causes, but now I feel that if I cannot take care of my own progenies, how can I take are of others?

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Written by blueroselady

August 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

2 Responses

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  2. […] method) in the Dragon year? Early signs of pregnancy Challenges in pregnancy Stay positive, be protective in pregnancy Improve your lifestyle in pregnancy. Checklist for week 20 scan during pregnancy. […]


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