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Tips: wedding

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Preparing for our once-in-a-lifetime event, excited!

decide what the must-haves and wish-to-have are.
Go personal, you don’t have to invite everyone and his neighbour. Each guest increases your costs drastically.
Be creative. You don’t have to hold your banquet in grand expensive places. Think museums, country clubs, gardens of rich friends. Or look for an all-inclusive package to save costs.
Smaller boutiques usually carry popular styles at a fraction of designer boutiques’ cost. Renting is also a cheaper option. Borrow your accessories if you could.

I want Wong Kar Wai style photographs.
Your happiness is in your own hands. Think positive. Expect the unexpected.
“The best shots reflect a relaxed simplicity, as if the couple isn’t posing at all.”
Playfulness Incorporated. Let me transport you and your lover back to childhood memories.
Sepia lends an old world charm to the photograph, creating a timelessness that will never date.

1. Pride goes before a fall

Just as the age-old adage goes, where your relationship is concerned you should put aside your pride and instead, focus on solving the problem in an unbiased way. Marriage is not about who is right or wrong, it’s not a competition, its more important than that, and very often we tend to overlook its significance by getting side tracked by inconsequential matters.
2. Make up before the day ends

Constructive fighting is good for any relationship, as it helps your relationship grow and clarify differences. However, it is important not to go to bed before making up. By delaying resolving the problem, all you are doing is causing the resentment to fester and get worse, therefore, no matter how angry you may be, make the effort to solve the problem before either of you hit the sack.
3. Say you are sorry when you are wrong

If you are in the wrong, swallow that pride and admit it, no good will come about if you don?. Be mature and show your partner that even though you are mad, embarrassed and filled to the brim with pride, you are still willing to put all that aside to make the relationship work.
4. Talk, share and get connected

Remember how you used to tell your partner everything that went on in your life? Well, don? stop. By sharing your thoughts, experiences and feelings with each other, you are building a bond between yourselves. The key to a successful marriage is a strong friendship, so go head and be friends again.
5. If it’s going to hurt, bite your tongue

If what you are going to say will cause unnecessary hurt, just bite your tongue. Constructive criticism is good, but destructive criticism which is fuelled by spite and pettiness will just erode your relationship and causes more harm than good, so ask yourself, what your objective is before you utter those spiteful words.
6. Save the criticism for when you get home

Suppress your desire to lash out at your partner in public or to others. Show him / her, the respect they deserve by saving the tongue lashing for when you get home. Airing your dirty laundry to others would result in your partner losing face. Remember your vows, to ‘cherish each other for better or for worse’, well remember them whenever you are filled with desire to rant.
7. Have a little love

Having sex frequently releases endorphins, burns calories and reduces stress. It also helps you to get closer to each other. So make the time for a quick romp or if time is really a constraint, then some heavy petting would also suffice. 🙂

Focus on ‘us’ not ‘me’

A marriage is a partnership, but quite often, many couples get married and continue to live like they did when they were single. Although it is important for some ‘me’ time, it is also important to share your experiences with your mate, as this builds bonds and brings a couple closer together. Because most of us spend over 10 hours a day at work, it is understandable that you end up confiding your frustrations and joys to your colleagues, and when you get home, you have nothing much to say to your partner, having unburdened yourself on your work mates. The problem with this is that, you are left with literally nothing much to talk about when you get home and this may result in your partner feeling excluded from your life.
Find time to be together

It’s easy to suggest but impossible to do, but do try and make some time for each other every day. Even if it is for an hour, simply sharing the mundane daily goings-on will make your partner feel included in your life and this feeling of inclusion will bring the two of you closer together. Try to make it a point to spend at least one day of the week to re-explore each other. A romantic dinner, a trip to the cinema or theatre, a walk in the park, any of these simple activities will help restore or maintain intimacy between the two of you.
A little time to be kind

The stress of our daily routines often makes it too easy not to be as polite or civil to our partners as we could be. It’s important to remember that our partners need and deserve that courtesy the most. So take the time to recognize all that your partner does each day, show your appreciation for the efforts by thanking him or her for things done and give high praise. It’s easy to get so swamped and overwhelmed by work that you simply forget to tell your partner that you love them. Make an effort to tell and show your partner how much he or she means to you. Hold his or her hand, give a kiss on the way out the door, put a love note in the lunchbox, and compliment your partner in public. All of these acts demonstrate your love for your husband / wife.
Listen with empathy

Communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Developing good listening skills can help you build and maintain emotional empathy. A good listener doesn’t just understand the words another person is saying. He or she also understands the meaning behind the words, and acknowledges that the meaning was understood. This type of listening is called empathic listening and makes the speaker feels that what he / she says is of importance. Practicing empathic listening can lead to good relationships, emotional intimacy, and contented marriages. Unlike just hearing the words someone says, empathic listening demonstrates to the listener that you truly understand and care about what he or she thinks and feels.
Relive your courting days

Remember how much time you spent together before marriage? All those late nights spent just walking around, simply enjoying being next to each other? Those marathon conversations you both had about nothing and everything? Relive the exhilaration, the fervour and the closeness that you both shared. Don’t postpone it for tomorrow; life is so fragile; there may not be a tomorrow. As morbid as this may sound, you should value the time you have together, so if anything bad should happen, you would have no regrets.

Finding your soul mate is something that each and everyone of us dreams of, so if you have found the man / woman worthy of this title, cherish them and live every day together like it is your last.

Written by blueroselady

February 27, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Posted in family

Tagged with , , , , ,

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